The Matchmaker
by Joy Cutting
Summary: Complete!You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master’s twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SSHG. Response to 'Twins' challange at WIKTT.Rating back down, M content not posted on ff.n.
1. In Which Snape Gets A Twin

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up with one thing on his mind? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG

**Author's Note:** I know it's not much, but this first chapter was mainly to introduce Sebastian and his relationship with Snape. I also appologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes. Spell-check only picks out so much; and I have yet to procure a beta. Anyways, hopefully the following chapters will be longer and more in depth. I would really appreciate any input, suggestions, advice, etc. that you can throw my way. Please note, flames will be quickly doused with water and payed no heed.

* * *

"Kill me... Kill me now!" Severus Snape muttered to himself in exasperation as he paced before the cluttered desk of Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Albus, for his part, merely watched the grown man with amusement as he dug around his top drawer for his last box of lemon drops. The old man's attitude only served to fuel the Potions Master's temper, causing him to whip out his wand and blast the nearest vase. Albus chuckled softly and repaired the crystal jar with a flick of his wand, then popped one of the sour treats into his mouth.

Finally, Severus came to an abrupt stop and dropped gracefully into one of the overstuffed chairs directly across from the Headmaster. Dumbledore studied the other man's pallid expression for a few silent moments, until Snape's face broke out into an unmistakable pout.

"Now Severus, it isn't really that bad, after all." The wizened wizard murmured with a hint of reproachfulness in his voice; though his twinkling eyes divulged his true impression on the situation at hand. Severus' glowered and sunk lower in his seat, resting his head in his hands and rubbing his temples in soothing circles. "He is your brother. More than that, he is your_ twin_." Albus continued, peering intently at his younger colleague. "Surely that calls for some acceptance on your part."

Snape snorted derisively and rolled his eyes toward the gilded ceiling. Trust Albus to see something pleasant in what could only be an impending disaster.

"Hardly." He muttered, glaring at Dumbledore, who was once again picking through his box of lemon drops. "Sebastian and I haven't spoken for two decades. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms, as you well know." Snape went on, violently picking at the armchair's fraying fabric. Albus clucked his tongue disapprovingly and repaired the tortured furniture with a weary wave of his hand.

"Yes, I am well aware of the circumstances surrounding your last encounter."

"Then how could you, in your right mind, HIRE MY BLOODY BROTHER TO BE THE NEW DEFENSE TEACHER!? OVER ME, NO LESS!" Severus exploded, jumping from his chair and knocking it over in the process.

"Because," A new voice drawled from the open doorway, "he obviously wanted someone competent teaching the subject."

Eyes boggled, Severus whipped around on his heels and stared at the man leaning against the doorjamb. If not for the short, shaggy hairstyle, straight nose, and white teeth, the man could have been the exact duplicate of the Potions Master.

"Hello brother. Did you miss me?" Sebastian Snape strolled into the room with an amused expression to rival that of the Headmaster's; hands in the pockets of his blatantly muggle pantsuit. Shock quickly wearing off, Severus turned his patented glare on his twin; silently appraising him with contempt.

"No." The retort was sharp, and bitten out through clenched teeth.

"Is he always like this?" Sebastian turned to Albus and asked with an amused smirk. Dumbledore chuckled, nearly choking on his new lemon drop in the process.

"Only on his good days." Came the cheery reply. Sebastian grinned at this and turned back to his older twin, only to find an empty space and open doorway. The back of Severus' robes could be spotted swishing down the stairs and out of sight. The younger of the Snape twins shrugged and fell heavily into the same plush armchair his brother had occupied only moments ago.

"So much for a warm welcome."

* * *

"Bloody menacing, old codger!" Severus grumbled to himself as he stalked into his office and went directly for the liquor on his fireplace mantle. He continued to mutter a long list of obscenities under his breath as he poured a glass of Firewhisky. With a sadistic grin, Snape raised his glass in the air and muttered a mocking salute. "Here's to you, brother." Throwing back his head, he drained the glass in one go and slammed the empty container down on the mantle. The alcohol had an almost instant numbing effect, and Severus soon found himself sprawled out on the brown, leather sofa before the unlit fireplace.

"You really are rather pathetic, aren't you?" A low voice sounded in his ear, startling Severus from the alcohol induced slumber. Groggy, he pushed himself up on the sofa and glanced over at the Grandfather clock. He noted, with surprise, that it was nearly time for the students to arrive and the inevitable Welcoming Feast he was required to attend. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Severus stumbled to his feet and stretched languidly. An amused snort from behind him reminded the Head of Slytherin that he wasn't alone in his office. Whirling around, he stared blankly at his twin brother.

"Leave my office. Now." He demanded, folding his arms over his chest in a manner that usually intimidated and petrified most of his students; but didn't seem to have any effect on his brother.

"No."

"Yes."

"No." Sebastian repeated, folding his own arms over his chest and cocking a challenging eyebrow.

"Yes."

"We could go on like this for hours, but I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Striding purposefully forward, the younger of the Snape twins stopped inches away from his brother; chin held high in defiance.

"What do you think we are doing?" Severus replied in a mocking tone, lifting his own chin in defiance. This action caused him to automatically think that if he'd cleaned up a bit, this scene would seem as if he were looking in a mirror.

"Give me a break, Severus." Sebastian gnarled, taking a step back. "You know what I mean."

"Oh yes, I know what you mean." He drawled sarcastically, turning and striding towards the door. "But it doesn't suggest that I have to indulge you." Wrenching open the handle, Severus looked over his shoulder with an unreadable expression. "So if you refuse to leave, I will." With a curt nod, he swept out of the room and into the dungeon corridors behind; slamming the door in his wake.

"And now I'm reminded why I never bothered to contact him this past twenty years." Sebastian murmured to himself, heaving a great sigh as he turned and grabbed the bottle of brandy on the mantle. He took a couple of rich swigs, set the bottle down and then strode out of the office in his brother's wake.

* * *

The steady murmur of voices assaulted his ears as Severus quickly ascended the steps out of the dungeons. The nosie became greater the higher he went, and by the time he stepped into the crowded Entrance Hall, the din was nearly deafening.

'And so begins another torturous year at Hogwarts.' He thought to himself as his eyes roamed over the sea of heads and spotted an untidy mop of black hair. Needing a diversion to take his mind off the events of the day, Severus pushed through the crowd until he was just behind Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger.

"Do you reckon Snape'll be around?" Weasley was saying with a hopeful voice, peering anxiously towards the Great Hall. "You know. Maybe the great bat finally retired. You-Know-Who being gone and all."

"Ronald Weasley!" Granger's voice was shrill and caused Snape to wince visibly. He remained quiet behind the trio, wanting to hear what the newly appointed Head Girl had to say in his defense. "Professor Snape may be a bit cantankerous, but he's a highly respected and well sought after Potions Master! You should be honored to have him as a Professor. Not to mention everything he did for the Order!" She berated the lanky redhead. Severus wasn't sure how he managed it, but Weasley seemed to look both repulsed and ashamed.

"She's right, you know." Potter finally spoke up, shrugging his shoulders at the surprised look shot at him by the youngest Weasley male. Severus smirked as the Gryffindor Prefect gaped like a fish, before frowning and rounding on his two best friends.

"All right! I can understand Hermione defending the nasty git; but you?! Harry, the man has tormented you since first year, and you're defending him!"

"Mr. Weasley makes a good point." He couldn't resist temptation anymore and finally gave away his position. The Dream Team pivoted and stared up at him with horror, which caused Severus to smirk in a most unpleasant way. Unpleasant for them, anyways. All three were gaping openly as Severus stepped aside and marched past them. "Oh, by the way..." He trailed off, shooting them a nasty sneer. "Five points from Gryffindor for insulting a teacher." With a satisfied smirk, he resumed his trek to the Staff table.

"Don't mind him; he's a bit cranky today." Sebastian purred from behind the three Gryffindors, who turned once again, shock written all over their faces. "He forgot to take his hot flash medication this morning." He grinned widely, watching as the redhead looked rapidly between himself and Severus, before turning wide eyes on his two friends.

"Get me to Madam Pomfrey. I'm seeing double." Sebastian was about to reassure the 7th years, but then another voice cut in as a sharp finger jabbed into his shoulder.

"Severus! Just the person I was looking for." Minerva McGonagall spoke, peering over her glasses at Sebastian with a curious gaze. "My, you've changed! I must say, it is quite an improvement over your usual getup." The younger Snape couldn't help but laugh outright, which further shocked the four people surrounding him.

"I'm afraid you have me confused with my brother." He stated, pointing into the Great Hall, where Severus was shifting between sulking and glaring at random students.

"Sebastian?!" Minerva gasped, raising her hand to her heart. "What a surprise! You must be the new Defense teacher! And here I thought Albus had finally lost his mind and given your brother the job."

"Wait a minute!" The bushy-haired young woman interrupted, throwing her hands in the air to forestall any further comments. "You're Professor Snape's brother?" The other two teens furrowed their eyebrows, waiting anxiously for the older man's reply.

"Twin brother, actually." Sebastian said, clasping his hands behind his back and rolling back and forth on his heels.

"Great Merlin's underpants!" The redhead breathed out, backing away in fright despite the reproachful looks from the bushy-haired girl. "Save me!"

"Mr. Weasley! I suggest you behave more appropriately in front of your Professors." McGonagall frowned at her student. "I best not have to warn you again! Now, if you'll excuse me, the first years have just arrived." Without another word, she set off down the stairs, where an excited chatter could be heard. Sebastian waved merrily at her, before turning back to Weasley and his friends. A flicker toward the middle teen's forehead told him all he needed to know. He was currently in the company of the one and only Harry Potter.

"I'm not all that bad, I assure you." Grinning, he walked past the group and into the Great Hall. There would be plenty more chances to chat with The Boy Who Lived, but at that moment, he feared for his life.

Death by an underage wizard stampede was not an appealing thought.

* * *

****

**Next chapter:** First DADA class, an Advanced Potions Lesson goes wrong, and Sebastian starts plotting.

See that little purple button down there? PUSH IT!


	2. In Which Sebastian Blows Things Up

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up with one thing on his mind? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG. Response to 'Twins' challenge on WIKTT.

**Author's Note:** So, here's the second chapter. I think I made it longer. Originally, I had one more section to write; but I thought it might fit better in the next chapter. Besides, I find it rather amusing to leave ya'll with cliffies at the end of each chapter. Mwahahaha. Anyways, Thanks to everyone who reviewed:

**Punk'd, Talia-Rose, Lady Sunflower, DarkFire77, Anne, KDarkMaiden, Sarahamanda, MoonAssassin13, Winter Fae, Piggie, Samilia, LynneElf, pseudonym.**

You're kind words inspire me to keep writing. I thank you all very much!

* * *

"Orion's Belt." The password to Gryffindor tower was spoken softly, so that no passers-by could hear. With a smile and nod, the Fat Lady swung open her portrait, admitting entrance to the three teens waiting patiently in the corridor. They strode forward, ignoring the curious glances from the other students within. Curious glances because the teens in question looked quite perplexed, and one looked downright ill. 

"Oh Ron, come off it!" Hermione muttered, flopping down into a chair nearest the fire. A group of first years scattered away, frightened by the tone of her voice and the slightly pissed off expression on her face. The redhead who she had just berated flopped onto the couch across from her, his mop top best friend joining him.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, but the thought of two Professors Snape wigs me out." Ron shot back, folding his arms over his chest and pouting most unconvincingly. Harry chuckled lightly, rolling his eyes as he kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and relaxed into the sofa.

"The new one didn't seem that bad." The Boy Wonder said, smirking at Ron's horrified reaction.

"Still. It's bad enough seeing one greasy git every day, but now we have to deal with two!"

"Now that's not true." Hermione countered, looking pointedly at her two male friends. "The Defense teacher isn't too sore on the eyes. He's rather sexy, in that aristocratic sort of way." She couldn't help but giggle at the looks of utter shock and revulsion that crossed both boy's face.

"Hermione! The man's old! That's just... ew!" Ron shuddered, looking completely squicked; while Harry's expression turned to that of amusement.

Silently, though, Hermione thought otherwise. Her parents, being fifteen years apart, had taught her that age didn't matter, so long as you were in love. For a while now, Hermione had no longer looked to her Potions Professor as great, old, greasy bastard. She had come to see him in a different light after a summer spent as his apprentice. He was far more emotional than he had let anyone ever see; and she guessed that he locked it all away because of the many trials and tribulations in his life. Getting to know him had opened her eyes. The enigma that was Severus Snape was slowly beginning to piece itself together. Beneath it all he was witty, with a wicked sense of humor, and passionate in every aspect of his life.

Nearing the end of the previous summer, Hermione had come to wonder if that passion extended to his bedroom. It was then that she had realized her growing attraction to the surly Head of Slytherin. She kept this knowledge to herself; embarrassed by the revelation, and afraid of what her friends might think.

"Earth to Hermione! EARTH TO HERMIONE!" Harry was shouting, waving his hands frantically in front of the young woman's face. Frowning, he turned to Ron. "Houston, we have a problem."

"Who's Houston?" Ron furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Harry as if he had grown three heads. Hermione took that moment to snap back into reality, blushing wildly and looking down.

"Sorry." She murmured, clearing her throat and picking at the edge of her plaid skirt. Harry shook his head, a smile playing at his lips.

"It's all right, I understand." He said, nodding as he sat back and gazed at her with an appraising eye.

"Understand what?" The youngest male Weasley asked, perplexed by the way his two friends were acting. Harry only smirked further.

"She'd rather daydream about the new Professor Snape, than talk to us."

"Harry Potter!" Hermione screeched, reaching for the nearest throw pillow and chucking it at the cackling teenager. Unfortunately, her aim was off, and the pillow ended up whacking Ron upside the head. Dazed, confused, and perturbed at Harry for his maniacal laughter, Ron gathered up the discarded pillow and swung with all his might at the boy sitting next to him. Soon there was an all out pillow war raging between the entire occupants of the common room.

Hermione was glad for the distraction. Harry had come too close to the truth for her comfort.

* * *

"Good morning, class!" Sebastian clapped his hands, a broad grin on his face as he looked at the fearful faces of his 7th year Gryffindor/Slytherin class. It was obvious none of them knew what to expect. Then again, after having Severus as a teacher, he couldn't blame them. He'd be wary too, if he were in their shoes. "Relax! I don't bite... I only nibble once in a great while." His attempt at a joke didn't go too well over; only a handful of Gryffindors laughed hesitantly. 

Shrugging, Sebastian walked back to the platform and sat on the edge of his desk; silently studying each student. After a while, he finally spoke.

"As you all probably know by now, I am Professor Sebastian Snape." If anything, the introduction only seemed to heighten the sense of anxiety flitting about the room. Sighing softly, he closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Just because I am your Potion Master's twin brother, doesn't mean I'm a thing like him!" He grumbled audibly, dropping his hand to the side and gazing pathetically forward. "For one, I actually wash my hair."

This had the desired effect. A sea of smiles broke out, and Sebastian was slightly surprised to see that a great many Slytherins found the jab at their Head of House entirely amusing.

"That's better!" He exclaimed, jumping off his desk and bouncing off the platform. There was a definite skip in his step, now that he'd gotten his students to unwind. "Now, I've been looking over some of the notes left behind by your previous Defense Teachers. According to my calculations, you all should be at roughly 4th year level." Some students groaned, while others protested. It was no secret that the Defense Against The Dark Arts teachers tended to be flakes; with the one notable exception of Remus Lupin.

Sebastian chuckled when he saw Hermione Granger shoot her hand into the air and start waving it frantically.

"Calm down, Miss Granger." He murmured softly, withdrawing his wand and twirling it in his fingers. "I am well aware of the advanced level many of you have reached by way of the DA club. I had quite a long chat with Headmaster Dumbledore on the subject, and he assured me that I could continue with my original lesson plans without any hindrances."

"Oh..." She murmured, blushing and putting her hand down.

"Now, I know it is the first day of classes, but I'd rather not waste any time." Sebastian stated with purpose, striding quickly over to the blackboard and flicking his wand at it. In no time at all, a complete set of notes on the days lesson was scrawled tidily against the black slate. "Today we will be learning how to block and counter the Soul Destroy curse. Can anybody tell me what that is?"

Somehow, Sebastian wasn't surprised when Granger's hand shot into the air once more, a gleeful expression on her face. Hers was the only hand in the air for a few moments, before another tentatively joined in beside her.

"Ah! Mr. Potter!"

"The Soul Destroy curse is similar, in effect, to that of the Dementor's Kiss." He started, biting his bottom lip. "However, unlike the Kiss, it can be blocked and countered; though the counter curse must be cast within thirty seconds of the original curse, to be effective." Harry looked pleased with his answer, and offered the younger Snape twin a half-smile.

"Excellent! Five points to Gryffindor!" Sebastian jigged in place, causing a great many of the female students to giggle, and the males to snicker. When he was facing the blackboard once again, he pointed at the incantations with the tip of his wand. "To block, the incantation is 'Contego Sepelio Spiritus'. The correct wand movements are a vertical, half arc swish, and a forceful jab. The jab is all in the wrist! Now watch me." Sebastian performed the block with ease, and a jet of aqua light shot out of the tip of his wand and created a water-like shield before him.

"Professor?" Potter raised his hand, and Sebastian nodded to him. "Is the jab on the first, second or third syllable of 'Spiritus'?"

"Good question. It is a common mistake to make. Jabbing on the first or third syllable will have no effect; you have to move at exactly the precise time you utter the second syllable." Harry nodded, then went back to taking notes.

"To counter the Soul Destroy curse, the incantation is 'Recro Spiritus'. This spell is also classified as a level four healing spell." Sebastian continued, pausing so that the class could keep up with their notes. The soft flutter of parchment and scratching of quills was, oddly enough, comforting to him. When most were finished and looking back at him, he raised his wand in the air. "The wand movements are a small loop, and a vertical slash; like so." He demonstrated, causing a soft golden beam to emit from his wand. "Now, once you are all finished taking notes, I will clear away the desks and you will have a chance to practice each spell."

The class got to work as Sebastian began making his rounds. He noted, with surprise, that Potter's movements all seemed mechanical; like he was here, but wasn't. There was a hollow, almost haunted look in his emerald eyes; and it perplexed the Defense Professor. He couldn't help but worry about the young man.

Furrowing his eyebrows, he shook the feeling off and cleared away the desks with a flick of his wand. Soon, the room was rent with the sound of murmuring, swishing and whooshing. Sebastian made his way over to the trio of Gryffindors, watching with satisfaction as each of them perfected the block and counter curse.

"Mr. Potter, are you feeling all right?" He murmured quietly, so as not to be overheard. Harry shot him a confused look, but nodded silently. Further baffled, and not at all convinced, Sebastian continued over to a group of Slytherins who were having difficulty; the empty look in Potter's eyes lingering in the forefront of his mind.

'I'm going to find out what is wrong with that boy.' Sebastian concluded finally, as the bell rang and the class gathered their belongings and trekked out of the room. 'I know that look all too well...'

* * *

"I can teach you how to bewitch the mind... Ensnare the senses... And even -" Severus was cut off as another voice sounded from the doorway. 

"Put a stopper in death! OOOOOHHHHH!" Sebastian called out over dramatically, waving his hands in the air mockingly. A few of the first years dared to laugh at this, but they were quickly shut up with one glare from the Potions Professor.

Severus, for his part, was feeling rather anxious now. Sure, he was angry at his brother for interrupting the pivotal moment in his speech; but he was even more worried for his life and that of his young students. After all, Sebastian's reputation in a Potions lab was legendary.

"Run while it's still possible!" He sneered at his students, waving his hand at the door. Some were confused, not sure if he was really dismissing them or not. Their question was answered, however, when Severus jabbed his finger at the open door in a blatant command to leave. They scrambled for their belongings, tripping over each other as they ran from the classroom; scared and relieved all at the same time.

"Now, was that really necessary?" Sebastian muttered darkly, walking forward and frowning down at the massive cauldron on his brother's desk. "Ugh, that smells foul. Monkey testicles?!" He snatched up a jar standing beside the brewing concoction, unscrewing the cap and sniffing inside.

"Don't touch that!" Severus yelled, but it was too late. Sebastian had jumped with a start when the cauldron gave a great burp; the jar flying from his hands and landing with a plop in the mixture.

"Did I do that?" He winced as the other man rounded on him. He was saved from a verbal lashing, however, when the cauldron began to shake and emit a multitude of pink sparks. Eyes wide, Sebastian watched, as if in slow motion, the entire contents of the potion exploded with a resounding bang.

"BASTIAN!" Severus roared, jumping on his younger twin in an effort to screen him from the onslaught of sickly, green slime. Within moments, it was over. Breathing heavily, Sebastian poked at the prone figure lying on top of him.

"Severus? Sev?" He muttered with worry, even though his mind was still clouded with shock. Rolling over until Severus was lying upright on the cold, stone floor, Sebastian sat up and reached for his wand. "Wake up, dammit!" He prodded the unconscious man, muttering a string of reviving spells, but to no effect. "What in Hades have I done?"

Shoving his wand into an inner pocket, Sebastian swooped down and picked up his brother before making a mad dash towards the Hospital Wing.

It was bad enough that he still lived in guilt over the happenings from twenty years ago; but he didn't know if he could live with the guilt of killing his only brother.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Sebastian learns of Hermione's attraction to Severus, has an emotional chat with Harry, and Hermione learns the truth of the twin's past. 


	3. In Which Things Are Revealed

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up with one thing on his mind? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG. Response to 'Twins' challenge on WIKTT.

**Author's Note:** All righty then, the third chapter has arrived! A forewarning, this chapter is more dramatic that humorous. Also, I had a bit of difficult expressing the various feelings without getting repetitive; so I apologize in advance if any of it is confusing. However, this chapter does explain a few things. Also, I still don't have a beta, so there's a very real chance that there are a few mistakes I missed. Aside from that, I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter! A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, you are my rocks. You keep me writing and I appreciate your input!

**Solivagus09, Winter Fae, Shinadagami, KDarkMaiden, Calli, Lagaz, Punk'd, fleria, JoeBob1379, moviebuff101, Sarahamanda, Goth Princess, Rusalka, BadBoyLover**

* * *

"I don't like bananas. They're weird and mushy, and remind me of something naughty." Ron muttered, looking at the tropical, yellow fruit with distaste before dropping it back on the platter. Harry and Seamus, who were sitting across from him, laughed heartily; while Hermione looked on with mild amusement. Trust the redhead to come up with the oddest of comments right when she needed a distraction from her thoughts.

"Hey guys! Did you hear about Snape?!" Neville exclaimed as he climbed onto the bench beside Hermione at the Gryffindor table. Ron perked up instantly at the mention of the Head of Slytherin. They knew it was he whom Neville was referring to, because the students had taken to calling their Defense professor Mr. S, as requested by the younger twin.

The Head Girl sighed softly, not wanting to draw attention to herself. Yes, she had heard about her Potions Master, and it was disturbing her to no end. However, it seemed like her male counterparts hadn't, so Neville spilled on with the details.

"I guess Mr. S. barged in on a first year class, and Snape looked so horrified that he dismissed them." The clumsy Gryffindor began, leaning forward on his elbows to better address the surrounding students. "Anyways, a couple of the students were lingering in the hallway when they heard an explosion a few minutes later. Then, get this..." Neville paused for dramatic effect, a mischievous twinkle dancing in his eyes; for it was well known that the awkward 7th year shared a mutual loathing with Snape.

"What happened?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows, an odd mixture of concern and delight written on his face. Hermione looked away, taking a deep breath to stave the emotions that were welling up inside her. She hated this part of the tale.

"Mr. S. came barreling out of the dungeons, Snape unconscious in his arms."

"WHAT?"

"REALLY?!"

"IS HE DEAD?" The three comments were shouted almost simultaneously, causing Hermione to shudder in annoyance. Pushing her uneaten lunch away, she grabbed her bag and stood up.

"Sorry to disappoint you lot, but no, he isn't." She muttered sarcastically, angered at the teenagers for looking upon the possible demise of Snape with relief. Swinging her bag onto her shoulder, she glared haughtily at the four boys. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to the Library to start studying for my N.E.W.T.S." And with a huff, she walked briskly out of the Great Hall. She didn't bother to look back at their bewildered expressions, and headed straight for the Hospital Wing. The Library could wait; she needed to see that Snape was all right, for herself.

* * *

Sebastian paced nervously as Madam Pomfrey looked over his injured twin, tutting and tsking the entire time. After what seemed like an eternity, she moved away from the bed and approached him.

"He'll be fine, but I suspect he won't wake up until tomorrow." She said, giving him a disgruntled look. "And might I suggest that you steer clear from the Potions Lab during your time at Hogwarts." Another stern look was shot at him, and Sebastian had the mind to look thoroughly abashed as he approached the prone man. He waited until the Matron was out of ear shot, before he sat on the edge of the bed and began talking to the unconscious man.

"It figures, doesn't it?" Sebastian muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "What does this make it? The tenth time I've almost killed you in a Potions related accident?" Sighing heavily, the younger Snape moved once again to his feet and began pacing at the end of the bed. "At least I didn't break your nose this time." He chuckled wryly as he remembered the incident the summer before their first year. Severus had been practicing his brewing in their father's lab, and Sebastian had rushed in, a baby garden gnome clutched eagerly in his hand. Unfortunately for Severus and the poor gnome, Sebastian had tripped over his own feet and the squirming creature had gone flying; landing with a great PLOP! in the boiling mixture. The resulting explosion had sent Severus careening into the brick wall, and his nose hadn't been straight since.

Bastian shook his head free of the memory. Despite the lasting physical effect it had on the surly Snape, he still found the entire incident rather amusing. But now definitely wasn't the time to muse over such things. The nervous pacing had stopped, and for a while the room was silent. Finally, Sebastian fell into the visitor's chair and covered his face with his hands.

"I suppose almost killing you still doesn't seem to be as bad as what I did to you so long ago..." It was a whisper, barely heard, even though there was no other sound in the vast room. "You wouldn't listen to me then, but maybe you will now." He barked out a sarcastic laugh. "As if you can hear me, for that matter." Still, the thought that Severus might not retain any of what Sebastian was about to say didn't deter him. It was warring on his conscious, and he needed to say the words that guilt had long ago suffused in his mind.

Taking a deep breath, Sebastian closed his eyes and dove headfirst into an explanation twenty years in the making.

"No matter what you have been brought to believe, I swear I didn't know, Brother." He started, rocking back and forth slightly, as memories assaulted his brain.

_"My sweet, beautiful Miranda." Sebastian murmured into the black hair of the dark beauty sleeping in his arms, before placing a gentle kiss on her temple. Miranda Blackheart was the epitome of everything Sebastian desired in a woman; cunning, resourcefulness, spirit, intelligence, and passion. Having been a Ravenclaw, like himself, the two had met while in school; and had begun dating near the end of their 7th year. She had been like forbidden fruit then; a mystifying air about her that only cause him to crave her more. At first it had been all about lust and longing, tasting the forbidden ambrosia as many times as he dared. Now, nearly a year later, Sebastian looked upon this mystery of a woman with nothing less than love._

_"Bastian?" She murmured sleepily, dark lashes fluttering open to reveal a sea of blue. She smiled softly as he brushed a dark lock of hair from her eyes._

_"Miranda..." He started, searching her eyes. Despite the vivid color, he could read no definable emotion in their bedeviling depths. Still, he carried on. "Will you marry m -" he was cut off as the door to his cottage bedroom slammed open, and a dark figure roared in fury. Blinking rapidly, Sebastian squinted his eyes against the shadows, until the defined features of his twin came into view. "Severus, what the devil are you doing here?"_

_"I should ask you the same." The intimidating young man growled out, taking a step forward into the light spilling forth from the bedside lamp._

_"Sev, please don't do anything stupid!" Miranda pleaded, and Sebastian looked down upon her with confusion. For the first time in his life, the young Snape saw something in her eyes that he'd never seen before._

_Fear._

_It was, in fact, the only emotion he'd ever seen in her eyes. And that, coupled with his twin's behavior, slowly pieced together the puzzle in his mind. All the times she had left hours early for class or work, and returning when the moon was high in the sky and the only creatures awake were the nocturnal birds flitting through the countryside. The supposed meetings that she always took off for without her schoolbooks or work papers..._

_"No." Sebastian shook his head in denial, shuffling as quickly away from the woman in the bed as he could. "No, this isn't happening."_

_"How could you, brother?" Severus was saying, apparently not paying attention to a thing Bastian said or did. Fury was clouding his judgement, and an unfathomable darkness had descended upon the naturally obsidian eyes. "You..." He was shaking his head, and all around the room furniture began to shake and the lights began to flicker sporadically._

_"No! I- I didn't know!" Sebastian protested weakly, gaze darting between his brother and the woman who was now cowered in a corner of the room; blanket wrapped securely about her naked body._

_"YOU STOLE MY FIANCÉ!" The roar was deafening, and all at once, the lights went out and every bit of glass, ceramic, or porcelain in the room burst, shards flying everywhere. In the back of his mind, Sebastian could feel a few of the sharp bits strike his bare flesh; but the pain was nothing compared to the ache he now felt in his heart. "AND YOU!" Severus had turned on Miranda, advancing on the frightened woman in a blink of an eye. "I thought you loved me."_

_"Sev... Sev, I'm so sorry." She was weeping, head buried in her hands and shoulders shaking with uncontrolled sobs. "I never meant to hurt you."_

_The only sounds that could be heard in the small room for a while were Severus' harsh breathing and Miranda's frightened sobs. For a while, Sebastian thought his brother might, indeed, do something stupid; and for the first time in his life, Bastian feared for his life and that of the woman he had so cherished._

_To his great surprise, though, Severus backed off, and stumbled blindly towards the door._

_"I never want to see either of you again. Ever." He whispered dangerously, eyes glinting maliciously in the moonlight. "You're dead to me. DEAD!"_

Sebastian rubbed his temples as a dull ache began to form there. The memories of his brother's words were more painful than those of his beloved's betrayal.

"I've always been the naive one, Severus." He murmured at last, opening his eyes to stare at his unmoving brother. "I had no idea that she was seeing the both of us behind each other's back. I knew you were with someone at the time, but you always refused to tell me. As I did with you..."

The distant rumble of students leaving their classes for lunch echoed into the silent Hospital Wing, distracting Sebastian enough to regain control of his emotions.

"Miranda told me that she was afraid the fantasy would end if we spoke of our love to others." He shook his head remorsefully. "I assume she told you the same. What fools we were, brother." Standing, Bastian made his way over to the cabinet containing the healing potions and draughts. As he searched for a Headache Relief Draught, he continued talking. "After you left that night, I packed my bags and left the cottage forever. It was the last time I ever saw or heard of Miranda Blackheart." Another rueful laugh escaped his lips, before downing the potion in one go. Immediately, he felt the tension in his head ease. "Blackheart. What an appropriate name. Anyways, I dropped off my things at the Manor, and then went in search of you. It took me two weeks, but I finally tracked you down. What I learned disturbed me beyond belief." He stopped abruptly, gaze flickering to the left forearm lying motionlessly on the bed. "I couldn't believe what you had done, so I gathered my unpacked bags and moved to the Americas."

Sebastian fell silent as Madam Pomfrey bustled in, giving Severus a once over, and performing another series of healing spells; no doubt to prevent concussion. The Defense professor watched with blank eyes, and didn't continue talking until the mediwitch had once again disappeared into her office.

"I never tried to contact you, for fear of what you had become and what you were capable of doing to me. It wasn't until last year, when news of You-Know-Who's defeat spread through the magical world and I learnt the nature of your true loyalties, did I step forward and seek Dumbledore's assistance in reaching you." Taking a deep breath, Sebastian ran a hand through his untidy, black hair. "If I had known, I would have come to you sooner. You're my brother. My twin. And I can't stand this rift between us. I swear, even if I die in the process, I will make it up to you."

The sudden noise of creaking doors assaulted Sebastian's ears, and curious as to who would pay a visit to the surly Potions Master, he stepped backwards into the medicinal closet and pulled the doors closed. With a quick charm, Bastian could see through the heavy, oak doors.

He was more than a little surprised to find Hermione Granger slowly closing the door and creeping up to his brother's bedside. Muttering another spell, Bastian cocked his head to the side and listened to the young woman's voice in his ears.

* * *

"Look at you, lying there peacefully, without a care in the world." Hermione murmured softly as she took the bedside seat and gazed sadly upon her Potions professor. "If it weren't for that nasty gash on your head, I'd think you asleep." She added with a wry smile, reaching forward to brush a stray whorl of ebony hair from his forehead. It hurt her to see this strong, powerful man lying in a hospital bed; seemingly helpless. He was so much more, so much better than this.

"We talked of many things, you and I, during my apprenticeship. Granted, it took almost the entire summer to get you to open up, but in the end you spoke freely of your childhood, your family, your school years and even the horrid crimes you committed as a Death Eater. I doubt you'd ever been that open with anybody besides the Headmaster. I felt honored that you felt so comfortable around me, and could trust me with the deepest, most darkest secrets of your past." She paused, tentatively reaching a hand forward to grasp his. Looking down, she had to take a deep breath to hold back the tears. "You can therefor see why I was surprised, Professor, when your brother showed up." She said after a moments silence, absentmindedly smoothing her skirt down with her free hand. "You never spoke of him; not one mention. I'd always assumed you were an only child."

Something clattered behind her, and whipping her head around, Hermione peered into the shadows. When nothing else happened, she assumed the Madam Pomfrey had dropped something in her office, and turned back to Snape.

"Something happened between the two of you. Something awful. I could see it in his eyes, and it is no doubt the cause of your lingering pain." Hermione murmured quietly, leaning forward and gazing intently at the prostrate man. "You don't deserve to live with that sorrow. You are a wonderful, amazing man who can be quite infuriating at times; but even you deserve love." Releasing his hand, Hermione stood and stepped up to the edge of the bed. "If I can't get you to accept mine, maybe there's a chance that I can help you to re-accept his." Leaning down, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek, before turning and hurrying from the Hospital Wing. It felt so good to get all those feelings out in the open, even if he hadn't heard a word of it. But she meant what she had said; she would do everything in her power to get the brothers to reconcile.

After all, it was often said that a bond shared between twins was irreplaceable.

* * *

Wide eyed, Sebastian emerged from the closet, ignoring the mess he had made when he'd backed up in shock at Hermione's admission that Severus had never mentioned him. The information was disheartening, yes, but it wasn't what had him so stunned. What was in fact leaving him befuddled, was the blatant admission of the Head Girl's love for his twin brother.

Staring down at Severus, Bastian frowned as his brain suddenly turned on and shifted into high gear. Fate, it seemed, had just dealt him a fair hand.

"With Miranda's betrayal, you may have thought love well out of your reach, brother." The hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Bastian's lips as a plan started to form in his mind. "But you were wrong. Merlin, where you wrong."

With a renewed bounce in his step and a impish grin on his face, the Defense teacher spun on his heels and all but skipped out of the infirmary.

* * *

"Harry, Ron, I need your help." Hermione spoke in rush that night at dinner. The two boys, mouths stuffed with food, looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. Hurriedly, she began spooning mashed potatoes onto her plate, and speared a piece of pork.

"Wha' ah 'oo 'alkin' 'bout?" Ron mumbled, splaying bits of corn everywhere. Hermione grimaced, throwing a napkin at the Weasley, before picking up a knife and meticulously cutting into her meat.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Ronald." She scolded, to which Harry grinned and chuckled. Hermione fixed her glare on Harry, pointing her knife at him. "Don't you egg him on." She added, then set down her knife and popped a bit of food into her mouth. After swallowing and washing it down with a bit of pumpkin juice, Hermione finally started to explain her need for their assistance.

"I need you to help me get Snape to reconcile with Mr. S." She stated matter-of-factly, raising her eyebrows at both boys. Ron glowered, while Harry looked genuinely curious.

"Why, in the name of Merlin, would we want to do that?" Ron said at last, to which Harry nodded in agreement.

"Harry, you know what it's like to not have the love of family. How does that make you feel?" Hermione pointed out, setting down her fork and looking purposefully at her two best friends. "And Ron, how does Percy's estrangement from your family effect you?" Ron gaped like a fish, obviously at a loss of words. Harry, however, had a look of dawned expression on his face.

"Yeah, I see what you're getting at now." He murmured, his own personal demons clouding his usually vibrant green eyes. Shoulders slumping, Ron nodded glumly in defeat and sighed heavily.

"What can we do to help?"

Hermione grinned, then leaned forward and started talking rapidly, ignoring her dinner.

From the Staff Table, Headmaster Dumbledore watched the trio with interest, the beginnings of a satisfied smile growing under his long mustache.

"Perhaps all is not lost." He murmured, stroking his beard thoughtfully. Looking down his long, crooked nose, Albus frowned. "Except, perhaps, my last box of lemon drops..."

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Severus wakes up, a muddy Sebastian, and phase 1 of both Hermione and Bastian's plan go into effect.

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	4. In Which Fate Lends A Hand

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG. Response to 'Twins' challenge on WIKTT.

**Author's Note:** This chapter, (and possible chapters to come) borrows some dialogue requirements from the 'Immortality' challenge at WIKTT. I also found some humorous dialogue in another challenge, that I couldn't resist. Unfortunately, I can't remember which challenge it was. :-/

Also, I am so surprised at how many reviews this story is getting. I LOVE YOU GUYS! I've been in the best mood these past few weeks; a far better mood than I have been in for a few months, actually. So, a HUGE thank you to everyone who continues to read and support this story!

**Chugabooe, ShilviGrl/Amyjenc1, Sarahamanda, TigerEyes32, Rusalka, Lady Slone of Snow Mt, Nore, Cecelia, SimplyScribbling, sexygothicbaby, JoeBob1379, Lagaz, Goth Princess, EridaniMoon, Silent Cobra, Winter Fae, Miss Elvira, Blue furry elf, Piggie, janet**

Ok, I have a favor to ask of everyone. If you could, I would like you to submit a bit of dialogue to be used in the story. It can be funny, odd, serious, etc. Just make it good! All right, enjoy chapter 4!

* * *

"Ah, Severus, I'm glad to see you up and about again." Albus Dumbledore murmured with that special twinkle in his eyes as he helped himself to the brown, leather chair in the Potions Master's private office. Said man looked up from the pile of fifth year essays he was about to grade and glared balefully at the old man. He would never quite figure out how the Headmaster seemed to know exactly what was going on at all times, but given the fact that he, himself had only just arrived moments ago, Severus figured Madam Pomfrey had flooed Albus seconds after he departed the Hospital Wing. 

As it was, he still had one hell of a headache and was in no mood to entertain visitors this evening. Having been unconscious for over twenty-four hours, and then bedridden for another forty-eight, he was woefully behind on his grading. However, given Albus' content look and unwavering smile, it was obvious the omnipotent wizard was in no hurry to leave. So, heaving a sigh of aggravation, Severus pushed out of his desk chair and walked over to the fireplace.

"Would you care for a drink, Headmaster?" He intoned emotionlessly, waving his hand at the array of alcohol displayed on the mantle. If he were to endure the discussion to come, he would do whatever it took to make the encounter bearable. That meant numbing his conscious with a plethora of whisky.

"No thank you, Severus."

"Suit yourself." The surly Snape muttered in reply while unstopping a decanter of whiskey and pouring a liberal amount into a crystal glass. After re-stopping the bottle, Severus took a long sip of the burning liquid, before striding over to the free armchair and falling gracefully into it. Both men where silent for a prolonged moment, before Severus sighed heavily and placed his now empty glass on the coffee table. "Was there something you wanted to discuss, Albus, or are you looking to become a human statue, adorning my favorite chair?"

Dumbledore chuckled softly, lifting his hand to stroke his long, white beard thoughtfully.

"As appealing as that may sound, no, I do not wish to become one of your office decorations." Albus paused, a mischievous smile unreadable beneath the snowy expanse of facial hair. "Though I would recommend one of those charming garden gnomes or pink flamingos that the Muggles seem to adore."

Severus sneered at the suggestion, an image of the gaudy, plastic lawn ornaments popping into his already frazzled mind. It was bad enough that the imitation gnomes looked nothing like the real things, but Muggles actually found them appealing enough to place in their yards. It was, among many other things, disturbing. Dismissing that line of thought, the black haired man said nothing in reply, impatiently waiting for the Headmaster to say what he'd come for.

"I think you know why I'm here, Severus." At last it was spoken quietly, and the younger man snorted sarcastically. Of course he knew why Albus was there, but that didn't mean he had to jump headlong into the unpleasant subject. The less spoken about Sebastian, the better.

"I don't want to talk about it." He pouted in response, pushing out of his chair and moving to the fireplace to refill his glass.

"Just because you choose to ignore the problem, doesn't mean it will go away." He hadn't even heard the old wizard approach, but the gentle words drifted on the air a foot beside Severus. He knew he was acting like the petulant children he so despised, but the Head of Slytherin couldn't help but turn his back to his mentor, and the truth that he spoke of. "You'll have to face your brother, and the past, sometime... Before you drown in the pain."

He barely registered when Albus patted his shoulder softly, and only heard the Headmaster's departure in the back of his mind. The last spoken words had hit him like the Cruciatus curse. They were so few, but held so many veiled meanings that the message was enough to take Severus' breath away and caused him to stagger slightly. It was as if the powerful wizard had dived past his defenses and brought all his insecurities to the turbulent surface of the ocean that was his mind.

"How does he do that?" Severus muttered to himself with a frown as he stumbled from the office and into the quarters beyond.

* * *

Life went on as normal for many of the castle's occupants, but others were not as lucky. As the leaves shed from their trees, and the air grew cooler, two people with entirely different agendas felt nothing but stress and anguish. Both seemed to feel the weight of the world on their shoulders; yet neither knew exactly what to do. They planned and they schemed; but doubts continued to pop into their heads. All the while, their mutual quarry - who was suffering from his own problems and personal demons - was non-the-wiser of their plans. 

For one of these schemers, fate was about to lend a hand. Or so they thought.

It was the week before Halloween, and Sebastian had been walking the perimeter of the Lake, when he spotted a gaggle of students being led to the outside edge of the Forbidden Forest. Curious as to what class this was for, the Defense teacher skirted around Hagrid's hut and watched the group's progress from a shorter distance. From here, he could clearly see a head of greasy, black hair poking high above the crowd. He could also barely make out a bushy haired female walking briskly to keep up, head bobbing and hands moving as if talking animatedly. Every once in a while, Bastian's twin would bob his own head in a curt nod, or make sharp, jerky gestures with his hands.

"Well, this certainly might make things easier." He muttered to himself in delight, creeping forward but staying in the shadows so as not to be seen. The class had finally stopped, and after being given brief instructions by their Professor, set to collecting various herbs and plant life. Luckily for Sebastian, his older twin closely shadowed the Head Girl and they appeared to still be talking as she went about her collecting. Casting the same spell he had used while spying in the Hospital Wing, the younger Snape was able to clearly make out what his targets were saying.

"Oh, please, she only stuffed that in there to please you!" Hermione was muttering in exasperation as she plucked a sprig of some unidentifiable pink plant and shoved it in a bag. Blinking rapidly, Sebastian fought the urge to laugh at how wrong that statement sounded. Amusement plainly written across his face, he waited eagerly for Severus' response.

"Somehow, I find that doubtful." Came the seemingly bland response, though Bastian could detect a hint of laughter in the silky voice. Still confused as to what they were discussing, the spying man crept further into the Forest and hid behind a clump of bushes. From this vantage, he could clearly see their faces, and was slightly surprised to see the hint of a smile tugging at his brother's lips.

"Professor, you're the only person I know who actually likes Jalapeño peppers. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Weasley added them to the lasagne dinner just for you." Hermione countered, closing her satchel full of ingredients and standing. As she brushed off her skirt, Severus took the velvet bag from her and examined the contents. With a satisfied nod, he handed it back to her and dismissed the rest of the students for the day.

Sebastian used the resulting noise as cover to move to a spot mere feet away from the unlikely couple. Unfortunately for him, he was so distracted by the goings on he was witnessing to realize he had trodden on a sleeping Unicorn's tail. With a jerk and an angry whinny, the beautiful creature leaped to it's feet and reared up on it's hind legs. Horror-struck, Bastian was unable to move and yelped in pain as the front hooves impacted with his chest and sent him flying.

With a great SPLAT! Bastian landed in a rather large pile of mud. At least, he hoped it was only mud. Groaning and trying to get back the breath that was knocked out of him, the Defense professor grimaced in pain.

"Professor! Are you all right?" The sound of rushing feet neared him as the worried voice of the Head Girl sounded from above him.

"Ugh-gh..." Was the only response that he could manage. A crunch of twigs and the swish of heavy robes alerted Sebastian of his brother's arrival moments later. Cracking his eyes open, he squinted against the onslaught of light and blinked until his sight readjusted.

"Eavesdropping, Sebastian?" Severus drawled, looking down upon his twin with a mix of contempt and veiled concern. However, Bastian was is so much pain that he only noted the contempt. Choosing to ignore his brother's comment, he shifted his gaze to Hermione and gave her a pathetic look.

"I've fallen and I can't get up."

* * *

Though concerned for her Defense Professor, Hermione couldn't help but inwardly cheer as Severus picked up his twin and began stalking quietly towards the castle. She had seen the hidden worry in the surly man's expression, cleverly masked behind a contemptuous expression, and saw it as a sign that her plan just might work out after all. 

"Ah! Sevvie! My knight in not so shining armor!" The mud covered man mock swooned, raising a hand to his forehead. Not able to help herself, Hermione found herself giggling furiously and on the receiving end of one of Snape's patented glares.

"You're not helping matters, Miss Granger." He grumbled, setting down his brother once they were clear of the Forest. With a flick of his wand and a muttered 'Mobilicorpis', Severus floated Sebastian the rest of the way; Hermione jogging in the effort to keep up.

"I don't know why you didn't think of that to begin with." The Gryffindor female pointed out, out of breath as they ascended the front steps.

"Navigating a floating body through a dense forest is far more complicated then carrying it." Came the terse reply. Hermione saw Bastian flinch as Severus accidently ('Or not', she wondered absentmindedly) hit his head on the door frame as they entered the school.

"Honestly, he has the common sense of navel lint." The younger Snape twin called out playfully, earning himself a collision with a corridor wall. "Bloody hell, Severus! I was joking!"

"You just invent that reality to make yourself guiltless." Hermione joked back, earning a mock glare from the prone man.

"You know, I'm really feeling much better." Bastian called out in a pathetic voice after he was bumped into another wall. "I think I can walk the rest of the way to the infirmary."

"If you insist." Severus smirked as he released the spell, effectively dropping his younger twin on the hard, stone floor. Hermione shot him a reproachful glare, but couldn't hide her amusement at the entire situation.

"Fool! I shall now smite thee!" Sebastian yelled dramatically as he stumbled to his feet, clutching his bruised chest. There was a large, impish grin on his face, and an odd, calculating glint in his obsidian eyes. Backing away uncertainly, Hermione and Severus shot each other confused glances as the seemingly crazed man charged at them. The Potions Master jumped protectively in front of the suddenly frightened seventh year as his twin pulled out his wand and aimed a spell their way. Throwing out his arms to shield Hermione from the brunt of the blast, Severus squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. However, nothing seemed to happen, and opening his eyes the Head of Slytherin recognized the tail end of a silver light fly over their heads. Slightly relieved, Hermione and Severus turned their attention back to Sebastian. He was once again advancing, causing them to stagger backwards, tripping over a pile of mops and buckets as they were cornered in a dark broom closet.

Sebastian stared down at the fallen couple, grinning widely at the splayed figures on the floor. He leaned down, but neither victim could clearly define his motions. Hermione whimpered, inching closer to Severus as she caught a flash of hall light in their attacker's eyes.

"Love is not immortal. It is renewable. It is born and dies – like everything else – to live and pass and return again." Stepping away and out of the door, the hall light silhouetting his tall frame, Sebastian put his hand on the door handle. "Think on that for the night." Before either Severus or Hermione had a chance to react or contemplate the cryptic message, the door was slammed and the familiar sound of a powerful locking charm echoed through the darkness.

"Well Hell." Hermione muttered darkly as she carefully got to her feet; relieved and pissed off all at the same time. Squinting in the darkness, she spotted her Potions professor crawling on his hands and knees in search of something.

"What are you looking for?" She questioned, reaching in her pockets so that she could light her wand to better see their surroundings. Only problem was, it wasn't there. Shocked, she looked back at the still figure of Severus. If she squinted hard enough, she could see the furious expression on his face as he rose to his feet. "Not you too..." She pleaded, fisting her hands into tight balls.

"Oh yes, Miss Granger." Came the silky, dangerous reply. "The bloody fucker took our wands."

* * *

**Next Chapter:** A night spent in a broom closet; and Sebastian chats with Harry. 

Press the lil 'GO' button and **_REVIEW!_**


	5. In Which Things Are Discussed

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG. Response to 'Twins' challenge on WIKTT.

**Author's Note:** Oh my goodness, I am absolutely stunned by the outpouring of love and support I have received over these last few days. I never thought that any of my works would receive something like this, and I'm just floored. You guys are amazing. I also want to thank everyone for submitting their dialogue ideas. I have the same request, but this time, I just want ONE-LINER dialogue. Stuff that I can work off of on my own. It's funner that way. :-D

All right, I want to, again, throw out a HUGE thank you to my loyal reviewers! You guys keep me writing at regular intervals!

**Merry the Psychotic Coconut, dracos-sexy-bitches, Goth Princess, cye, Chugabooe, TigerEyes32, tigress001, Eternal Queen, Sarahamanda, ParvisSira, Tracy3, Satern Mya, Calli, kim, blackwolfs900, PearlyJammer, dragonbleu, yacool15, CassandraTheEvil, Nelys1, Slytherin Queen, Goddess Nemesis, Sarah Kingston, Sabrina, Lady Slone of Snow Mt, Rusalka, Poet Diem, stargurl2, BadBoyLover, sexy severus, AngelApple1, alicat999**

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**Imhilien:** It's funny you should mention that, because that's exactly how I pictured them as well. On that note, I actually made a graphic of Sebastian and Severus, using Alan Rickman photos from Dogma and Harry Potter. You can find a link to the graphic on my author profile. It's rather poor quality, because I'm not the best at manipulating graphics, but I tried!

Now! On to chapter five! ENJOY!

* * *

Sebastian couldn't help but grin widely as he pocketed Hermione and Severus' wands, which he had snatched while hovering over the fallen duo in the closet. Severus' harsh expletive moments later only caused the younger twin to smile largely and laugh heartily. 

Obviously, his brother had heard the laughter, because there was a pause of silence before a resounding bellow echoed from the broom closet.

"I'M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR TONGUE AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT!" Bastian grimaced at the threat, but it wasn't enough to wipe the smirk off his face. Instead, he gave the closet door a once over, before flicking his wand and casting a rather powerful Silencing Charm. This way, no helpless passers-by would overhear the trapped pair and come to their aid. Not that it would help; Sebastian had set the locking charm to open only under his command. It was a nifty little trick he had learned over in the States, and came in handy on numerous occasions.

Placing his own wand back in its hidden sheath, the Defense teacher turned on his heels and started heading for his office. His injury was small enough that he could treat it on his own, which was a far more appealing idea than seeking out the proverbial 'Napoleonic Needle Pusher' that was Madam Pomfrey. Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle at the muggle expression that seemed to fit the Hogwart's mediwitch so well.

"Mr. S? What are you laughing about?" An amused voice sounded from a windowed alcove. Startled, the professor turned his gaze upon the sitting form of Harry Potter. The young man's legs were drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped around them and chin resting comfortably on his knees. He was shooting the younger Snape a curious glance and hesitant smile that didn't reach his spectacular, emerald eyes.

"Mr. Potter, I'm surprised to see you around in my neck of the woods." Bastian deliberately avoided the question, instead waving his hand around the Defense corridor. Harry quirked a questioning eyebrow, but obviously decided against harassing his professor for a straight answer, for he shrugged his shoulders and swung his legs over the edge of the window seat.

"It's the best spot to watch the sunset, without freezing your arse off in the Astronomy Tower." The Boy Wonder said bluntly, nodding toward the bright orange, pink and purple horizon.

"I see . . . " Stroking his chin in thought, Sebastian gazed curiously at the Gryffindor, silently contemplating his next words. He had been meaning to have a talk with the emotionally destitute young man ever since his first Defense lesson, yet hadn't yet had the chance to. However, it seemed as if opportunity was knocking at his door, and he wasn't about to turn a deaf ear to it. "I wonder, Mr. Potter, if you would care to join me for a cup of tea?" He questioned at last, hand falling to his side and clasping the other behind his back. Apparently shocked at the invitation, Harry looked up at his teacher quizzically.

"Really?" At Bastian's smile and nod, Harry jumped out of the alcove and nodded hesitantly. "Um, I guess that would be all right." Came his awkward reply as he shoved his hands in his pant pockets.

"No awkwardness aloud here, folks!" Sebastian called out with a laugh as he guided the bewildered teen toward his office, chest pain momentarily forgotten.

* * *

"Well, weren't we just dealt the fuzzy end of the lollipop?" Hermione muttered sarcastically after hearing the Silencing Charm activate. Chancing a glance at her professor, she noted that the older man looked completely livid; as if he had every intention on keeping his promise to strangle his twin. Her comment only seemed to aggravate him, for he was now sneering openly at her. 

Hermione felt her heart lurch unpleasantly at the blatant coldness. It wasn't as if their situation was her fault, after all. Sighing softly when his expression did not change, the Head Girl turned and felt around for something to sit on. Finding nothing in the darkness, she crossed her legs and fell gracefully on to to the floor, leaning up against the cold wall.

"Are you just going to sit there and pout, or are you going to help me find a way out of here?" Severus yelled in exasperation as he trailed his hands over the door cracks. Hermione rolled her eyes and leaned her head back.

"You know as well as I do that the only way we are going to get out of here is to have your brother release us." She replied stiffly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She had no idea why her Defense professor had locked them in the broom closet, but she wasn't about to raise a hissy fit about it. "I suggest you take the time to relax. Meditate, perhaps. I could even teach you a bit of yoga, if you'd like." Hermione offered with a sly smile, opening her eyes to gauge Snape's reaction. It took a moment to readjust to the darkness, but when she did she could clearly see the glare aimed her way. "I'll take that as a no."

Silently, the young woman watched as the object of her desire paced back and forth in the small, enclosed space, before finally coming to a halt and sliding down the opposite wall into a sitting position. His expression was now blank, but Hermione could still feel the anger radiating off him in waves.

"Professor?"

"Merlin knows how long we'll be in here, Miss Granger." Severus muttered in reply, looking up at the Gryffindor sitting across from him. "You might as well call me Severus." Pleasantly surprised, Hermione beamed at the surly man. While apprenticing, he had requested the use of his forename as well, and she had become so accustomed to calling him Severus, that it had been difficult to revert back to 'Professor' at the beginning of the school year.

"All right, Severus." She grinned as the name rolled easily off her tongue. "I must also insist that you call me Hermione. 'Miss Granger' makes me feel like some old, spinsterish librarian."

"Very well," Snape paused, the hint of an amused expression glossing over his features before he continued, "Hermione." Her name on his lips sent shivers up her spine, and Hermione had to bite back the soft moan that threatened to release from her throat. 'It should be a crime', she thought, 'to have a voice that sensual.' Shaking the thoughts from her mind, the young woman gazed intently at her professor.

"If you aren't willing to relax and do a bit of yoga with me, at least help me figure out a bit of revenge on Mr. S. for all of this." Hermione blinked rapidly, completely stunned at the reaction her second suggestion had garnered from the Head of Slytherin.

Severus was grinning.

"Now _that _is a task I am more than willing to join you in."

* * *

"So **that's** what a Banshee looks like…" Harry muttered, looking at his professor with a grin. Sebastian glowered at the young man as he rubbed his aching shin and attempted to smooth down his tangled, black hair. They had just arrived in his office, and true to form, Bastian had shown his complete lack of grace when he'd tripped over his snowy white cat, and fallen into a heap on the floor. Struggling to get up had only caused his shaggy locks to become furiously knotted and, in turn, now resembled a pile of snakes. "That look really suits you, Sir." 

"I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you… She'll have _your_ legs next…" Bastian muttered, turning his glare on the feline who was weaving through his legs and purring loudly. "I swear, Iris." He started, picking up the ball of fur and looking straight into her large, yellow eyes. "If you trip me one more time, I'm going to surrender you to Sevvie's mercy."

Harry choked back a laugh, his hand flying up to cover his mouth as he watched the professor set the unaffected cat back down.

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't think Professor Snape uses any cat parts for his potions."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about my brother, Mr. Potter." Sebastian grinned toothily as he sat in a wing-backed armchair and conjured up a tray of tea and cakes. "I was referring to my dog. A big, black, mangy mut that I've had for a couple of years now. His grungy look reminded me of my brother." Harry knew it was supposed to be funny, but he couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows as he sat down in the chair opposite his teacher. Sevvie sounded too much like Padfoot for his comfort, if truth be told. Harry wouldn't let himself think about that, though. Sirius was dead, and there was nothing he could do to change that. Still, curiosity got the better of him.

"May I see him?" He asked softly, shifting uncertainly in his seat. Sebastian gave him an odd look, before shaking his head in the negative.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter. I let him out this morning for a bit of fresh air. He probably won't turn up until tomorrow afternoon." Sebastian explained, to which Harry sighed and slumped his shoulders; an unmistakable darkness shadowing his eyes. Sebastian frowned. "What's wrong, Harry?"

"Nothing." The reply was curt, and Bastian's frown deepened when Harry turned his head away. It was obvious the boy didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering him, but the younger Snape knew what it felt like to dwell on the grief, and he didn't want the seventh year Gryffindor to suffer the same way he had so long ago.

"You can trust me, you know." Leaning forward in his seat, grimacing slightly at the pain in his chest, Sebastian cocked his head to the side and studied Harry intently. The younger boy was still avoiding his gaze, fidgeting nervously in his seat. "Harry, it's obvious something has hurt you so deeply that you've been living in a virtual emotional waste land. I can see the sorrow in your eyes. Please... Let me help you."

Harry jerked his head, his now furious stare meeting his Defense teacher's concerned one. Bastian was taken aback at the abrupt change in attitude, and jumped slightly when the anguished, young man sprang from his seat, nearly knocking it down in the process.

"Don't try to fix me!" He yelled, hands clenched at his sides, and the flickering flames emitting from the fireplace danced eerily in his fierce eyes. Blinking rapidly, Sebastian made to stand and reassure his student, but was cut short when Harry exclaimed, "I'm not broken!"

In a flash, Harry was gone, having run out the door and slam it behind him. Breathing heavily, eyes wide, the confused man left behind stared unblinkingly ahead. The uncostomary concern, combined with the residual pain left over from his earlier injury, was enough to give him a headache.

"Fuck, fuckity fuck."

* * *

"Would he like Passions of the Heart? Or do you think Sweltering Lust is more his type?" Hermione inquired, tilting her head to the side in anticipation of Severus' answer. They were still discussing their revenge on Sebastian, and almost had the entire scheme thought out. Hours had passed, and by the blinding darkness that had settled over the closet, they assumed night had fallen. 

"I think Sweltering Lust would have a more traumatic effect." The Potions Master replied with a feral grin. Hermione giggled softly as she wrapped her robes closer about her body. Being late fall, the temperatures were dropping drastically at night, and without her wand, she was unable to cast a warming spell. Rubbing her hands up and down her arms in the attempt to stay warm, the Head Girl scooted away from the wall and lay down on her back.

"Sweltering Lust it is, then." She murmured, covering a large yawn with the back of her hand and shivering audibly. She could hear the rustling of Severus robes as he moved around, and was surprised when a moment later, a pair of strong, warm arms enveloped her and turned Hermione on her side. His long, hard body was pressed against her soft, shapely one, and the heat he was giving off was enough to warm her completely. "Wha-"

"We're both cold, Hermione, and the temperature will only drop further as the night wears on." The satiny voice murmured quietly near her ear, the warm breath sending a pleasant thrill through her body. "Shared body heat is the only way we will not freeze." He added in explanation, shifting into a more comforatble position. Hermione smiled in the darkness, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "And as it is obvious that my incompetent, inconsiderate brother will not be releasing us tonight, it is the only solution."

"Oh..." She trailed off, feeling foolish for not considering the logic behind Severus' actions. It was stupid to think that her teacher would ever think of her in _that_ way. Sighing softly, Hermione closed her eyes and turned around until she was facing the man holding her. "Thank you, Severus." She murmured, before burying her head in his chest and wrapping her own arms around his lean, solid torso. "Good night."

Hermione heard him take a deep, shuddering breath, his arms tightening around her as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Good night, Hermione." He whispered in reply, an odd note of uncertainty and anxiety in his voice. Mind quickly numbing with sleep, the young woman absorbed none of this, and barely heard the soft words Severus added a few moments later. "Sweet dreams..."

Looking down upon the slumbering girl in his arms, Severus sighed heavily. This was wrong on so many levels, yet nothing had felt more right in over twenty years. Closing his eyes, the troubled professor let his mind wander freely and succumb to the heavy lure of sleep.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Sebastian frees Hermione and Severus, who decide to get even a little sooner than expected. 

**_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!_** Pretty please? With Bastian and Sev on top?


	6. In Which Revenge Is A Female Dog

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG. Response to 'Twins' challenge on WIKTT.

**Author's Note:** Again, I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of support I am receiving from my readers. I swear, you guys put me in the best mood; and consequently, keep me wanting to write. I usually never update this quick; but I've been updating almost every other day! w00t! I want to apologize ahead of time, if Severus seems out of character at all, to any of you. Personally, I don't think it's too bad.

Anyhoo, I'm still requesting one-liner dialogue to use! Thanks to everyone who submitted ideas, btw! I love you all! :huge hugs:

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!

**Fuuruma, JoeBob1379, Winter Fae, Cecelia, Satern Mya, Goth Princess, Rusalka, KDarkMaiden, MistressMoonDemon, CassandraTheEvil, ShilviGrl/Amyjenc1, Nelys1, Umi3, Lady Slone of Snow Mt** (thanks for the awesome idea!), **charmed piper, kiwiknight, primax, Krcool, Kawaiililkitten, katilarinity, ParvisSira, Sarahamanda, Chugabooe, saturngurl123, AngelApple1, Imhilien, Bellemaine Chercoeur, serpents-tear, Dryad, Stellar Snape, BadBoyLover, Piggie, heartnut, Lana Manckir, Mistress of Evil, lucy**

And on to chapter six!

* * *

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch!" Bastian sang merrily as he practically skipped down the empty halls. It was nearing five in the morning, and he figured it would be a good idea to release his 'prisoners' before the rest of the castle woke up. Turning the corner, he grinned as the broom closet came in to view.

Taking a deep breath, he readied himself for the verbal, and potentially physical, lashing that was about to come.

"Great galloping gargantuan!" Sebastian exclaimed in surprise when he unlocked and opened the door at last. Startled awake, Hermione and Severus blinked rapidly, adjusting to the onslaught of dull light. When their sleep addled brains cleared, they realized the cause of Sebastian's yell and sprang quickly apart. The man standing in the door chuckled at this, grin growing wider as the Head Girl's cheeks turned a crimson red. "Good morning, campers!" He called out cheerfully, adopting the phrase from the muggle television show, Stargate SG-1, popular in the States and Canada. He'd been an avid fan, and greatly enjoyed the character of Jack O'Neill, who reminded him a great deal of himself.

Shaking the distracting thought from his head, Sebastian watched with great amusement as his brother rose steadily to his feet and held out a hand to Hermione; who hesitantly accepted it and was pulled to her feet. Now that they were standing, and looking quite calm despite the circumstances, Bastian began to feel scared. Backing away from the door, he shifted his eyes back and forth along the empty corridor.

"By the looks of things, you two had a rather pleasant, uh, night." He muttered with a half-hearted grin. The pair was advancing slowly on him, faces blank of all emotion, but eyes alight with fire. They remained eerily calm, which unsettled Bastian more than if they had come out lunging for his throat. Clearing his throat, he fingered his wand and started walking away backwards. "Once I'm, uh, safely locked away in my r-rooms, I'll, uh, owl you y-you're wands." The younger Snape stuttered, before turning abruptly and running off down the hall.

Hermione broke out laughing, nearly doubling up as she replayed the expression on her Defense teachers face in her head. Amused, Severus smirked and folded his arms over his chest.

"Now that he's suitably frightened, I think now would be the perfect opportunity to gather the resources for phase two." The Potions professor murmured silkily as they walked through the deserted corridors. By the dim light shining on the horizon, the pair could tell that it was still early morning. The rest of the castle's occupants wouldn't wake for another couple hours or so.

They had plenty of time.

"What an excellent idea, Professor Snape." Hermione grinned mischievously, though she was slightly saddened at having to revert, once again, to his official title. Severus didn't seem to notice this, for they had come upon the Entrance Hall and he was now pulling open the massive doors. With an elegant sweep of his arm, he gestured for his young counterpart to go first, before following her out into the dewy morning.

Halfway to Hogsmeade, a large, tawny owl swooped down upon the pair and deposited a long, thin package in the Gryffindor's hands.

"Must be our wands." Hermione mused, untying the parcel and watching the bird fly back towards the castle. Sure enough, when she pulled the top of the box off, two sleek wands were revealed. A note also accompanied the magical instruments. After tucking their wands away, Severus unfolded the small bit of parchment and began to read in a drawling, amused voice.

_Dear Severus and Hermione,_

_As promised, here are your wands. I'm truly sorry that I had to revert to such an underhanded tactic, but it was, you will soon find, all for the best. I truly hope you thought closely on my parting words. They weren't just the ravings of a lunatic. _

_Safely ensconced in my highly warded office,_

_Sebastian_

_P.S. When next we meet, please don't kill me._

Hermione chuckled at the post script as Severus burned the note with a quick spell. They had absolutely no intentions of killing the sneaky man. Alas, mere humiliation was the only thing on their combined to-do list. Still, his words again confused the pair; and they found themselves deep in thought over the cryptic message as they continued thier short journey.

Before they knew it, they had entered the small wizarding village and set off towards a lone, dark shop on the outskirts of town.

"What about these?" Hermione murmured twenty minutes later as she picked up a prospective object. Professor Snape took the object and studied it carefully, before handing it back to the Gryffindor female.

"Pink, I think." He said, pointing to the same thing in a pale, pink color. Discarding the purple one, Hermione grabbed the pink and added it to their growing mound of objects. When she next looked up at her partner in crime, she had to stifle laughter behind her hand.

"Oh Merlin, that's perfect!" She exclaimed softly, snatching it out of his hands. She found it so hard to believe that he could be so calm while in this particular shop. She'd been giddy almost the entire time. Then again, she was still in shock that Severus had originally agreed to this particular style of revenge. She'd never pinned him as the type to stoop to this level. Then again, the man had been a Slytherin. On the flip side of the coin, she knew that helping to mortify the younger Snape would impede her progress in getting the twins to reconcile; but her own embarrassment overrode these misgivings. Sighing softly to herself, Hermione continued to browse through the small shop.

They continued for another half hour, before they finally paid for their purchases and left the store. The sun was fully risen now, and they could see a few townsfolk staggering through the streets. Not wanting to be seen coming out of such a questionable place, they quickly ducked into the Hog's Head and hid themselves in the back of the shadowy pub. "We only have thirty minutes until breakfast begins." Hermione pointed out as they began stuffing the objects in a large box. Severus nodded curtly in understanding as he added a particularly gaudy object to the pile. They finished five minutes later, and after adding the cover, the Professor tapped the box three times and a string of twine wrapped itself around the package.

"We should hire an owl from the Post Office." Severus muttered as he placed a hand on the small of Hermione's back and guided her towards the large building. "Sending mine will be like flashing a sign over our heads, proclaiming our guilt."

"Good point." Hastily, they entered the messy place and payed for the delivery. "Remember, don't send it for another fifteen minutes." Hermione instructed the pimply teen behind the counter.

"Yes ma'am." He muttered, not daring to look at the foreboding teacher. Taking the sack of coins that was slid across the counter, he quickly counted out the change and handed Severus a pile of Knuts. Without another word, the scheming duo left the building and hurried back to the castle under the protection of the Disillusionment charm. It was one thing to be seen by the castle's occupants emerging from Hogsmeade together; another entirely to be seen mere minutes before havoc would strike.

"And you thought the Weasley twins were bad..." Hermione muttered with a large grin spread across her face as they entered the castle, waiting until the coast was clear to remove the charms. Severus smirked down at her.

"Indeed."

* * *

"What are you looking at, Hermione?" Ron muttered in exasperation, waving his hand in front of her face. Blinking rapidly, the Head Girl turned her attention away from the Staff table and frowned at her redheaded friend. "Daydreaming about Mr. S. again, eh?" He teased, earning himself a swift kick in the shin under the table.

"No, you prat." She replied, peering at the unsuspecting Defense teacher out of the corner of her eyes. "I'm just wondering why he looks so fidgety." Inwardly she smiled, knowing full well why the man was so tense. He probably suspected something was coming, but he obviously didn't know how or when. He was about to find out; however, because just then the owls began to swoop in through the open windows.

"Hey, I wonder who that's for." Harry said in wonder, pointing at the largest box in the air, being supported by two brown owls. Hermione had to bite her lip to hold the grin that was fighting to get out. A peek at the Head table told her that Snape had spotted the package; but, master of hidden emotions, showed no interest what-so-ever.

All was calm for about a minute, until everyone's attention was turned towards the Defense teacher, who had just spit out a mouthful of coffee after taking the lid off the mystery box. Eyes wide, he appeared to be struggling to put the cover on, but was not succeeding. Hermione looked away as a fresh bout of laughter struggled to burst forth. After sufficiently calming down, she glanced back at the table and saw, to her great amusement, Albus Dumbledore reaching over to pluck an item from the box.

It was the pink, furry handcuffs.

"Ah!" The Headmaster exclaimed with a large smile as he held the item up for all to see. "I've always wanted a pair of these! Do you mind, Sebastian?" Face ghostly pale, Bastian shook his head and resumed the task of re-sealing the box. Yet again, his efforts were thwarted, this time by Minerva McGonagall.

"My my, what have we here?" She muttered curiously, pulling out the silk, leopard print thongs that Severus had picked out. By now, the entire hall was ringing with laughter. Looking around, Hermione saw a number of people rolling on the floor, clutching their stomachs as they gasped for air. Others where furiously wiping at the tears in their eyes, guffawing loudly. Finally, she let herself go, the laughter spilling forth as she pounded the table in merriment. Across from her, Ron was snorting uncontrollably; but beside her, Harry looked concerned. Slightly confused by this, Hermione's laughter died down, until another gleeful screech rented through the air. Snapping her head back towards the Staff table, she saw that Professor Sprout was leaning over Sebastian, holding up the magazine entitled 'Sweltering Lust'.

"I didn't know they made men like that anymore." She was murmuring in surprise, leafing through the pages of the dirty magazine. Eyebrows raised, she held it out in front of her and cocked her head to the side. "Well, _that_ can't be natural."

Snatching the items back, Sebastian shoved the offending pieces back into the box as he stumbled away from the table. Without a backward glance, he rushed out the back door, which only caused the students to laugh louder. Some of the Professors were laughing as well, but most wore expressions of great amusement and curiosity.

Under the cover of the ensuing chaos, Hermione gazed up at Severus and winked. He tilted his head to the side in reply, a playful smirk on his face. As the laughter died down, the young woman turned to her best friends. Ron was hiccoughing as he attempted to catch his breath, but Harry was still sitting silently, staring down at his half empty plate.

"Harry?" Hermione tapped his shoulder to draw his attention back to her. When he finally looked up at her, there was an unreadable emotion flickering through his eyes. Hermione hadn't seen any emotion, aside from anger, in those brilliant orbs since Sirius' death; yet now, he was clearly feeling something. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Who would play such a humiliating trick on Mr. S?" He whispered, glaring at a few of the students who were still laughing. "What has he ever done to any of us? He's the best Defense teacher we've had since Remus, for Merlin's sake!" Harry sprang up from the bench, crawling over it in his haste to get away. "That stunt was enough to demean him in the eyes of the entire student body. He'll never be able to control his classes, now!" Ron, who had finally regained control of himself, stared at the Boy Wonder in amazement. Harry must have realized how odd his outburst sounded, because he quickly continued. "Defense classes will, once again, be useless!"

Shocked, Hermione slumped visibly and stared unblinkingly at the table.

"I never thought of it like that." She whispered to herself, shaken by Harry's words. When she looked up again, she was greeted with empty air. Glancing towards the door, she saw the raven haired boy hurrying out of the Great Hall, Ron fast on his heels.

"Mission accomplished." A low voice murmured from behind her. Spinning around, Hermione stared blankly up at the Head of Slytherin.

"No, sir. I think we did more harm than intended." Severus frowned at this, taking a startled step back when Hermione suddenly jumped up and sprinted from the room.

"Well, I certainly found it amusing." He grumbled to himself as he started to stalk away. A gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"As did I; but I am also aware of the ramifications yours and Miss Granger's prank will have." Albus said, an unreadable twinkle in his eyes. Severus stopped short, wondering at how Dumbledore seemed to know everything. As the meaning of the words sunk in, he frowned.

"Well, hell."

"Indeed." Came the soft reply. Glancing back at the old wizard, Snape glowered. "However, there is a way to remedy the situation." Doubtful, Severus started to walk away, somehow knowing Albus would follow.

"Somehow, I find that hard to believe." He muttered darkly, sneering at a group of hovering Hufflepuffs. They scattered quickly enough, leaving an empty corridor in the two men's path.

"It's simple, really." Dumbledore said with a grin, clasping his hands behind his back. "We just spread the humiliation. The students and staff will not mention Sebastian's if they are too busy worrying about their own." Severus rolled his eyes as they came to a stop in front of his office.

"And how do we manage a feat like that?" He drawled. Albus' eyes twinkled more fiercely than ever, as an aura of mischief settled over the old man.

"My dear Severus, have you ever heard of Kareoke?"

* * *

**Next Chapter**: Halloween plus Kareoke = Complete and Utter humiliation. And fun. Heh heh heh.

**_Review Review Review!_** If you have a particularly amusing song that you would like me to use, lemme know! I just might use it... :-D


	7. In Which Everyone SINGS

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG. Response to 'Twins' challenge on WIKTT.

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry it took me forever to update; I've been really sick these past few days (still am, for that matter). That's also my excuse for if this chapter royally sucks, because I'm too darn tired to read through it and triple check it for mistakes. Anyways, thanks a whole lot to everyone who sent me love, again! For those of you who asked, I am completely and utterly OBSESSED with anything Stargate related. Actually, that's another reason why this chapter is so late; I had to watch the two new episodes of SG-1 and Atlantis tonight. :-D Enough about that, the songs used in this chapter will be listed at the bottom. If any of the artists read this, I have no intent on infringing on anything or making any money off this. It's purely for entertainment purposes. Please don't sue me. :-/ Also, I know quite a few of these songs technically weren't written in the time frame this song is supposed to take place, but for my own peace of mind, let's just pretend they were!

Anyways, A BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY LOYAL REVIEWERS!:

**Sarahamanda, Chugabooe, hoshinekoyasha, Rusalka, jaydedheart, Satern Mya, Lady Slone of Snow Mt, Sabrina, Imhilien, Winter Fae, primax, TigerEyes32, Stellar Snape, Sasusc, Dryad, Lana Manckir, Christine, Nelys1, Fuuruma, DesitnyTWoP, AngelApple1, Miss Elvira, kimusume kaoru, BadBoyLover, Slytherin Queen, heartnut, Brittany Malfoy, Mouse, margarite, momsangel, ShilviGrl/Amyjenc1, Akuma, KarenDetroit, Silent Cobra, Jub-Jub19, clair, Labaz, Mary, JoeBob1379, Yuuri Asakura, Angie Chick, GuardGirl, BaYer04rulz**

I love you all! Now, on to chapter 7, which I think is the longest yet! ENJOY!

---

Halloween morning dawned bright and clear, and the occupants of Hogwarts could feel the holiday spirit in their veins. Being a Saturday, a great majority of the students decided to have a bit of a lie in, before venturing to the Great Hall to break their fasts. Little did they know what awaited them there.

Somewhere around 9:30 they began straggling in, chattering cheerfully and without a care in the world. Many expressed their eagerness over the Feast that would take place that Evening, as it did on every thirty-first of October. Not one of them took the Headmaster's positively gleeful expression as anything more than what he expressed every other day.

So it was with great surprise they reacted when Dumbledore stood halfway through breakfast to address the gathered crowd.

"May I first begin by wishing you all a wonderful Halloween!" He started, smiling down upon the curious group. "Now, I can tell that you are all quite curious, so I shan't beat around the bush." Some where confused at this term, but those who had exposure to the Muggle world laughed hesitantly.

Albus repressed the urge to laugh outright at what he was about to announce. It was sure to cause an uproar of some sort. Smirking, he looked around the Great Hall to make sure that everyone's attention was solely on him.

"As you know, the annual Halloween Feast will take place this evening." If they hadn't been paying attention before hand, they certainly where now. Nodding slightly in satisfaction, Albus continued. "As a last minute surprise, we shall be having a ball of sorts." Excited murmurs broke out then, and the Headmaster had to shot a series of sparks into the air with his wand to recapture their attention. "Dress robes are not required, casual dress is entirely acceptable." He paused to let this bit of information sink in, before plowing forward. "However, there is one requirement. Every student and staff member must perform a song. I believe the muggle form of this entertainment is called 'Kareoke'."

A loud roar suddenly erupted as students and staff alike jumped out of their seats and began protesting loudly. There were a few who looked rather interested, and some who looked downright excited.

"SILENCE!" Albus roared to regain control, and at once a hush fell over the room. "Only the direly ill will be excused from the Ball this evening. For everyone else, attendance is mandatory." Another roar of angry voices broke out. With a mighty swish of his wand, the Headmaster cast a very powerful muting charm over every occupant of the Hall. Finding that their voices no longer seemed to function, the students sat down and glared up at the Head Table. "That is better. Now, you may perform as a group, trio, duet or solo. Who you choose to perform with and what song you decide upon is solely up to you."

Somewhat pacified at having a bit of control over their exploits of the coming evening, the students and staff sighed resignedly.

"First through third year students will go first, so that they may return to their dorms by ten o'clock. After that, it's free reign!" With a nod and smile, Dumbledore back down and released the muting charm. With a great sense of amusement, he watched the hall once again come to life.

* * *

"Can you believe this?" Ron muttered in a huff as he filled his spoon with a dollop of porridge. Hermione shook her head, rolling her eyes at his antics. "I can't bloody sing! Especially in front of the entire school!"

"Oh, come off it Ron." Harry said from his place across from the redhead. Ron sputtered angrily, spewing a mouthful over the table in the process. "That was attractive." He muttered sarcastically as the youngest male Weasley snatched up a napkin and began cleaning up his mess.

"It's really not that bad as you seem to think it will be." Hermione murmured as she refilled her cup of tea. "After all, the entire school will be making fools of themselves. Including the Professors." Ron cocked his head to the side, looking as if he were contemplating the point the Head Girl had just made. Finally, he nodded, a wicked grin coming over his face.

"In that case, this could be quite fun!"

"Dear Merlin, don't tell me I have to endure listening to your horribly off key warbling, Weasel!" Malfoy drawled as he came to a halt behind Harry and Hermione. Ron made a decidedly rude gesture at the blonde Slytherin, before grinning widely.

"That's right, Ferret." He said, watching as Harry budged over to free up a space for Draco. "I'm sure you can relate quite nicely."

"Haha." Draco muttered, helping himself to a blueberry muffin. Hermione raised an eyebrow at the Head Boy as he made himself comfortable.

If anyone had told her two years ago that she would be quite good friends with Draco Malfoy, she would have had them committed to St. Mungo's. As it was, the young man had played quite a pivotal role in defeating the Dark Lord. It had been through the gentle persuading of Professor Snape, that Draco had seen the error in his ways. After his father's escape from Azkaban a week into the summer holidays after sixth year, and the resulting disappearance of his mother, the young man had sought asylum with his Head of House and mentor. After being subjected to a rather extensive questioning under the influence of Veratiserum, the boy was brought to Order Headquarters. It was there that a tentative friendship had blossomed between the trio and their former arch nemesis.

Tensions had been quite high for a couple weeks, before a fight resulting in a broken nose for Harry and a pair of black eyes for Draco had released it. After that, things seemed to loosen up. By the last week of summer, a grudging respect had been formed between the three, and over the course of their sixth year, it had blossomed into a strong friendship. In the final battle, Draco had, quite literally, saved Harry's life.

He killed his father before Lucius had a chance to utter the Killing Curse aimed at the Boy Wonder.

Snapped from her reverie by a not-so-gentle prodding on her arm, Hermione frowned at her friend.

"What?!"

"I was just wondering if you knew what song you were going to perform." Draco replied with a goofy smile.

"I have no idea." She replied dryly, sipping languidly at her tea. Glancing at the Head Table, she saw Severus glowering. He, obviously, wasn't too happy with Dumbledore's announcement. Then again, she couldn't blame him. What he was being forced to do was entirely out of his character. Though, she mused to herself, it would be quite amusing to see what he sang.

"Well, I know what I want to sing. I just have one problem." Draco paused for dramatic affect, before turning batting eyelashes on Harry. "I need a partner."

"Whatever." Harry muttered, much to the surprise of everyone around him. By the look on his face, he wasn't in the mood for arguing. Hermione sighed softly, turning her head away as a worried expression passed over her face.

Harry had been this way ever since the final battle. True, he'd been quite empty ever since Sirius' death, but after having to kill Voldemort, he had lost all sense of self. He constantly looked haunted, and couldn't seem to shake the depression that had settled rather heavily over him.

All his friends were beyond worried, but they knew from experience not to push him. He had a habit of blowing up and retreating further into himself whenever they tried.

Trying to shrug the unsettling thoughts off, the young woman turned back to her friends.

"What song did you have in mind, Draco?" She asked, trying to look interested. Ron, who had just stuffed an entire piece of toast in his mouth, raised his eyebrows in inquiry.

"Oh, you'll see." Came the mysterious reply.

"Fine, be that way." Hermione shot back playfully as she downed the rest of her tea and stood. "I'm going to the Library. I'll see you all tonight." With a wave, she turned on her heels and started to walk out of the Great Hall.

However, after clearing the doors, she headed towards the dungeons, instead of the Library.

She had a certain Professor to request a duet with.

* * *

"Welcome, all, to Hogwart's first annual Halloween Kareoke Ball!" Albus stood, arms spread wide. The Feast had just ended, and after pushing the long tables aside and conjuring a smattering of small, round ones around a dance floor, the Headmaster had stood to address the anxious crowd.

Certain that he had captivated his audience, he conjured a seemingly Muggle Kareoke set; complete with microphones and lyric monitor. Upon closer inspection, however, one would see that it was run purely on magic.

"Now, when you come up to perform, you need simply think of your song and press the 'Play' button." He explained, pointing to a large, green button on the black console. "I'm sure you are all as eager as I to get started, so without further ado, The Gryffindor First Years!" A gaggle of frightened looking students scurried onto the dias that usually housed the Head Table. A tall, gangly boy pressed the play button, and an upbeat song filled the air.

Soon, the hall was full of laughter and dancing as the young students got into their interpretation of Outkast's 'Roses'. It went on like that for the first few hours, and by the time ten had rolled around, the younger students had finished and gone off to bed, and the older students were decidedly buzzed from the unholy amount of Butterbeer they had managed to consume.

Ron, with a large grin on his face, was the next to venture on to the stage. With a large wave at the crowd, he wiggled his eyes at Harry, who had just finished dancing with Luna Lovegood.

"This one's for you, mate!" He exclaimed, pointing at his best friend, in case onlookers were confused as to who he was referring to. With a dramatic sweep of his hand, he reached over and pressed the play button. Immediately, Tenacious D's 'Wonder Boy' started to play.

_"High above the mucky muck  
Castle made of clouds,  
There sits wonder boy,"_

Here, he pointed once again at Harry, who was blushing furiously and trying to hide his head in his hands.

_"Sitting oh so proudly.  
Not much to say,  
When you're high above the mucky muck.  
Yeah, Yeah._

_Wonder boy, what is the secret of your power?  
Wonder boy, won't you take me far away,  
From the mucky muck now?_

_Now it's time for me to tell you about young nasty man,"_

Jumping off the stage, Ron slung his arm around Draco, who looked horrified that he had been pointed out as a subject in the song. Grinning, the Gryffindor ruffled the blonde hair and continued singing.

_"Arch rival and nemesis of wonder boy,  
With powers comparable to wonder boy's.  
What powers you ask?  
How about power of flight.  
That do anything for you?  
That's levitation Herms.  
How about the power to kill a skrewt,  
From 200 yards away, with mind curses!  
That's telekinesis, Dean.  
How about the power to move you?  
History of wonder boy and young nasty man,  
Riga goo goo riga goo goo.  
The secret to be told,  
A gold chess to be bold,  
And blasting forth in 3 part harmony, oooh._

_Wonder boy, what is the secret of your power?  
Wonder boy, won't you take me far away,  
From the mucky muck now?_

_When wonder boy and young nasty man joined forces,  
They formed a bond the likes of which have never be seen!  
And they called themselves H and D.  
That's right. Me, and Hermy, we helped H and D.  
Come fly with me, fly!"_

_Wonder boy, what is the secret of your power?  
Wonder boy, won't you take me far away,  
From the mucky muck now."_

The song ended with a flourish to the loudest applause yet. Grinning from ear to ear, Ron replaced the microphone and sauntered over to his group of friends.

"That," Ginny was fighting to catch her breath as she wheezed out a few more breaths, clutching her stomach, "was hilarious."

"I'm just good like that." Ron shrugged, though everyone could tell that he was pleased with his performance. Harry was about to say something about being sung to, when a riotous laugh rent through the air. Turning their attention to the stage, the group of friends stifled their laughter as Professors Dumbledore, Flitwick, Hagrid, and Filch climbed on stage and began singing The Beatles 'When I'm Sixty-Four'. It wasn't just the song choice that made the spectacle hilarious, but the fact that they were dressed as the 60's musical icons, and dancing around the stage.

If that wasn't bad enough, the next group to perform was a group of 7th year Hufflepuffs. They, too, chose to sing a Beatles song, but changed the lyrics drastically. What should have been 'Yellow Submarine' was, instead, 'Yellow Badgers Den'.

"All right, Potter." Draco said as the Hufflepuffs jumped off the stage, grabbing Harry's arm and dragging him towards the front of the Hall. "It's our turn."

"Merlin save me." Harry muttered dramatically, before laughing softly. After pressing the play button, the Slytherin grinned smugly as 'We Are The Champions' by Queen, started to play. Taking a step forward, the Head Boy began singing in a clear, strong tenor.

_"I've paid my dues,  
Time after time.  
I've done my sentence,  
But committed no crime.  
And bad mistakes,  
I've made a few.  
I've had my share of sand  
Kicked in my face,  
But I've come through."_

_Harry started singing with Draco, his voice shaky at first, but steadily growing stronger as the chorus went on.  
  
"And we mean to go on and on and on and on!  
  
We are the champions - my friends!  
And we'll keep on fighting  
Till the end.  
We are the champions,  
We are the champions,  
No time for losers,  
'Cause we are the champions of the Light."_

Draco stopped singing, stepping aside as Harry's amazing baritone filled the silent air. Everyone in attendance was not only moved by his voice, but how much the lyrics suited both he and Draco. They had picked out the perfect song.

_"I've taken my bows,  
And my curtain calls.  
You brought me fame and fortune,  
And everything that goes with it,  
I thank you all.  
But it's been no bed of roses,  
No pleasure cruise.  
I consider it a challenge before,  
The whole human race,  
And I ain't gonna lose."_

Draco joined in again, flinging his arm around Harry and pulling the Gryffindor closer._  
  
"And we mean to go on and on and on and on!  
  
We are the champions - my friends!  
And we'll keep on fighting,  
Till the end.  
We are the champions,  
We are the champions,  
No time for losers,  
'Cause we are the champions of the Light.  
  
We are the champions - my friends!  
And we'll keep on fighting,  
Till the end.  
We are the champions,  
We are the champions,  
No time for losers,  
'Cause we are the champions."_

There was a prolonged moment of silence when the song ended, as everyone gaped at the two boys descending from the platform. Looking sheepish, Harry hurried back over to his group of friends with his head bowed. Draco, however, smirked widely and sauntered over with a accentuated sway to his lean hips.

Finally awoken from thier daze, every person in the room began clapping loudly, large grins on their faces.

"Harry! I didn't know you could sing like that!" Ginny exclaimed, patting him on the back and causing him to blush wildly. "And you weren't that bad either, dear." She added at Draco's mock expression of hurt, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend's shoulders and placing a soft kiss on his lips. The two had surprised everyone when they'd announced their relationship at the end of last summer, and after threats of bodily harm to Draco from Ron (and every other male Weasley), the couple was accepted with open arms.

"Hey! What about me?" Dean exclaimed, nudging his ex-girlfriend playfully. Ginny rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she leaned back against Draco's chest.

"I don't just go giving out kisses willy nilly."

"Oh walrus balls." The older boy sighed and pouted, jumping away as Draco made to punch him in the arm. Once out of reach of the Slytherin, he turned to the rest of his friends who were all drowning out the sound of a group of screeching 6th years. "Speaking of walrus', did you know they have the worlds second largest penis?" He wiggled his eyebrows, leering at Hermione. "I have the largest."

"Somehow, I highly doubt that." Came the Head Girl's laughing reply as she set down her bottle of butterbeer and excused herself to search out her singing partner. She spotted him sulking in a darkened corner of the hall, glaring at any person who dared step within ten feet of his hiding place. Ignoring his sneer, she approached him with a smile.

"Professor." She murmured respectfully, moving to stand beside him in the shadows.

"Miss Granger." He replied silkily, looking down at the young woman at his side.

"Are you ready?"

"No." Severus sighed heavily, folding his arms over his chest. "And I suspect I never will be."

"Well, we best get it over and done with then, eh?" Hermione said, pushing away from the wall and tugging on the front of his robes. Grudgingly, he let himself be led to the stage.

"Remind me again why I'm doing this?" He muttered under his breath as they stepped on the stage. Looking up at her disgruntled Potions Professor, the Head Girl shrugged.

"Humiliation in the name of brotherly love?" She suggested with a shrug, receiving a scoff for her efforts. "Right then. Because Albus is a menacing, old codger, and forced us into this after our rather horrendous prank on Mr. S." Hermione stated with a grin, before reaching over to press the play button. As the song started, she glanced over at her partner and noted, with shock, that he had removed his high-necked, black robes, and was tying his long, black hair back with a silver queue. That, combined with the loosely fitted black slacks, and tight, white button down shirt, made Hermione almost miss her cue. Taking a deep breath, she turned to face the crowd and let her melodic, powerful voice captivate her audience.

_"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_

_Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb._

_Without a soul my spirits sleeping somewhere cold,_

_Until you find it there and lead it back home."_

Picking up the other microphone, Severus cupped his hands around the base and brought it up to his lips, fully engaging himself in the riveting song.

_"(Wake me up!) Wake me up inside,_

_(I can't wake up!) Wake me up inside,_

_(Save me!) Call my name and save me from the dark._

_(Wake me up!) Bid my blood to run,_

_(I can't wake up!) Before I come undone,_

_(Save me!) Save me from the nothing I've become."_

Once again, everyone was struck by how well the song suited the singers, and how amazing they both sounded. Some could see where it came from with Hermione, but everyone, right down to the Headmaster himself, was shocked at how astounding Professor Snape sounded. Said man dropped his hands and backed away as Hermione once again took lead.

_"Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me._

_Breath into me and make me real._

_Bring me to life._

_(Wake me up!) Wake me up inside,_

_(I can't wake up!) Wake me up inside,_

_(Save me!) Call my name and save me from the dark._

_(Wake me up!) Bid my blood to run,_

_(I can't wake up!) Before I come undone,_

_(Save me!) Save me from the nothing I've become._

_Bring me to life. (I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside.)_

_Bring me to life._

_Frozen inside without you're touch, without your love darling._

_Only you are the life among the dead."_

Hermione's eyes were closed as she swayed slightly in place. Instinctively, she took a step back as she heard Severus' powerful voice ring through the room. Opening her eyes, she became entranced in his performance; singing her own parts as second thought.

_"(All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark, but you where there in front of me.)_

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems. Got to open my eyes to everything._

_(Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul.)_

_Don't let me die here. (There must be something more!)_

_Bring me to life!_

_(Wake me up!) Wake me up inside,_

_(I can't wake up!) Wake me up inside,_

_(Save me!) Call my name and save me from the dark._

_(Wake me up!) Bid my blood to run,_

_(I can't wake up!) Before I come undone,_

_(Save me!) Save me from the nothing I've become."_

When the song ended, Hermione had to block hear ears from the deafening screams, stamping and applause. The Head of Slytherin, for his part, looked slightly uncomfortable under all the attention. With quick, deft movements, he plucked up his discarded robes and quickly left via the back door. Hermione followed him with her eyes, still captivated by what they had just shared. She wasn't brought back to the present until a group of hands latched onto her arms and yanked her roughly off the stage.

"Mione! That was bloody brilliant!" Ron was yelling as her friends dragged her back to their table. Smiling half-heartedly, Hermione nodded her thanks.

"Um, I think I'm going to head off to bed now." She murmured after the group had finally quieted down. Standing, she grabbed the robes that were slung over the back of her chair and waved a tired goodbye. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Party pooper!" Draco called out after her amidst a gale of laughter. Waving over her shoulder without looking back, the mentally exhausted young woman escaped the stifling room and stopped to lean against a wall in the Entrance Hall.

"That was quite the performance, Miss Granger." A low, soft voice sounded beside her. Jumping, Hermione squeaked as Sebastian came in to view. Relieved that it was only him, her shoulders visibly slumped and she resumed her position against the wall.

"Thank you."

"I don't think I've heard Severus sing with that much passion since... well, for a couple decades now." He muttered appreciatively, stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets. "It was good to seem him relaxed again."

"Yeah..." She drifted off, visions of the older man in the less restricting clothing, completely abandoning all pretenses of his former self as he sang, flashed constantly through her mind.

"You know, he only acts that way around you, I've noticed."

"What?!" Hermione sputtered, blinking rapidly as she took in the serious expression on the usually grinning face of her Defense teacher.

"Tell him, Hermione." He whispered as he stepped forward and lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Tell him that you love him."

"But-" She wasn't able to get out a protest, because just as quickly as he'd appeared, he'd dipped back into the Great Hall and disappeared amongst the sea of dancing bodies.

"How does he know?" She cried out to herself in frustration, fighting the urge to scream as she took off for Gryffindor tower at a frenzied run.

When she was safely locked in her private rooms, she slumped against the wall and hugged her knees to her chest.

"Well, this is just bloody perfect."

---

**Next Chapter:** The Christmas spirit gives Hermione the push she finally needs to confront Severus., Sebastian makes progress with Harry, and somebody :coughAlbuscough: enchants the mistletoe.

The songs used in this chapter were:

"Roses" - Outkast

"Wonder Boy" - Tenacious D

"When I'm 64" - The Beatles

"Yellow Submarine" - The Beatles

"We Are The Champions" - Queen

"Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence (If you couldn't tell with this song, when Severus sings, the words are in parenthasis.)

Also, the line Dean uses about walrus' is from '50 First Dates'. Anyone affiliated with that movie, please note I'm making no money off this. Again, please don't sue me.


	8. In Which Bottles of Emotion are Uncorked

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time. Also, there is now a SLASH warning.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up with one thing on his mind? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG

**Author's Note:** I appologize profusely for taking FOREVER to update. I blame it on the fact that I finally started college and my first semester was hell. Despite that, I still managed to get a 3.92GPA for the semester. Sweet. Anyway, I figured that it was high time I update this fic; and seen as my next semester doesn't start until January 20th, I am going to endeavour to finish this fic BEFORE then. So, if everything goes good and my creative juices keep flowing, you can expect a new chapter every few days. Yeah.

And as always, thanks to all my amazing reviewers. If not for you, I would have PERMANENTLY abandoned this fic.

----

Despite the advice from Sebastian to tell Severus that she loved him, Hermione kept her feelings well hidden over the following months leading up to the Christmas holidays. Too afraid that she would be scorned and humiliated, the Gryffindor woman withdrew into herself, terrified to show any emotion around anyone, lest she give herself away. Not only was it a major step back in Sebastian's plan, but he was also beginning to worry that she was becoming more haunted and withdrawn than Harry.

"Ah! It's the Yeti!" Bastian shouted as he came up behind Hermione in the Library one late Friday afternoon. The intended effect was to startle her enough to garner at least a modicum of emotion in her honey brown eyes, but she merely shrugged and continued to pour over the thick tome on healing potions that lay sprawled on the table in front of her.

"Can I help you, Professor?" She muttered without looking up, scribbling furiously on a roll of parchment as her free hand raced over a line of text.

"Yes." He muttered in frustration, slumping into a chair beside her and tilting her chin up with his forefinger. "You could smile, for one." Offering a hesitant one of his own, Sebastian pleaded with his eyes for the young woman to cheer up.

Quirking an eyebrow, Hermione shot her Defense professor a mechanical smile as she rolled up her parchment and closed the book, shoving both in her already overflowing brown, leather bag.

"Happy now?" She muttered, batting her eyelashes and smiling wider to resemble something out of an abstract painting. If not for the blankness in her eyes, her expression would have been comical to Bastian.

"No." He pouted, standing and walking with her to the doors and pulling them open as she swept by him and into the empty corridor beyond. Jogging to catch up with her brisk pace, the younger Snape fell into stride beside Hermione and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Why are you torturing yourself like this, Hermione? Love is supposed to be a wonderful feeling, not a soul-sucking monster bent on emotional destruction!"

"Would you keep your voice down, please?" She hissed, flashing him a glare as she turned a corner and hurried down a flight of stairs as they were moving from the west corridor to the east. Running to keep up with her, Bastian nearly tumbled down the stairs in his haste.

"Don't do this to yourself!" He called after her retreating form as he took too long to regain his footing.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Came her shouted reply as he slumped against the railing and sat on a cold, stone step, sighing heavily and resting his head in his hands.

"I'm getting too bloody old for this." He muttered in frustration, pulling at the short strands of black hair that he would later swear had begun to turn gray at that moment.

"She's getting worse than me." A soft voice sounded from above Sebastian. Whipping his head around, Bastian gazed up at Harry in shock. "Gaping like a fish doesn't suit you, Sir." The young man murmured as he took a seat on the step next to his teacher.

"Uh. Right." Shaking his head, Sebastian eyed his student curiously, noting the subtle look of pain etched on his features and glistening in his emerald eyes. Relieved to see the brilliant orbs no longer empty, the professor smiled softly. "I'm glad to hear that you've finally decided to admit that you really aren't all right, after all."

"Yes. Well, you can't kid yourself forever." Harry muttered in response, gazing at his hands as they ran over the seam of his jeans. Furrowing his eyebrows, Bastian reached out a hand and, for the second time that day, lifted the chin of his pupil with his forefinger.

"Would you like to talk about it, Harry?" Something seemed to break in the young man at that moment as he released a heavy sigh that seemed to break the damn holding back all of his emotions. Sebastian was shocked at the amount of pain and anguish the young man was capable of holding inside himself.

"Yes, please." Came the childlike voice, tiny and barely audible as the tears welling up in the boy wonder's eyes finally began to trickle slowly down his soft, pale white skin. Bastian's heart broke for the young man, and taking him in his arms, let Harry cry out everything he was feeling right then and there in the stairwell between the second and third floors.

--------------

"Nosy son-of-a-bitch." Hermione cursed to herself as she stomped through the halls leading to Gryffindor Tower.

"Tut, tut. Such language should not be used by the Head Girl." Stopping in her tracks, Hermione closed her eyes and willed Snape to go away and leave her alone. She couldn't deal with this, with him right now.

"My apologies, Sir." She murmured softly, shoulders slumping as she turned toward the darkened corner that the silky voice was coming from.

"You should know to set a better example than that, Miss Granger." He said, sliding out of the shadows and coming in to full view before her. The look of wariness on her face had him stepping closer out of habit, the intimidation technique well ingrained into his subconscious.

"Yes, Sir." Hermione muttered, now growing agitated at being kept in his presence for so long. It was beginning to get hard to breath, because every time she inhaled, all she could smell was the musky scent of sandalwood and rosemary emanating from him. That combined with his silky voice and positively sinful eyes were overwhelming her senses. The room seemed to be spinning as her head tilted toward the ceiling. She didn't feel herself falling, but suddenly a pair of strong, warm arms were encircling her waist and hugging her closely to a lean, hard body.

"Perhaps you should spend more time sleeping, and less time glued to the Library." Severus murmured silkily in her ear as he helped her regain her balance.

"Yes, Sir." She whispered, struggling out of his arms and shifting the bag on her shoulder. If only he knew the truth.

"Your vocabulary is definitely lacking today, Miss Granger." Snape remarked with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow. Noting the dejected look in her eyes, the Potions Master frowned and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right, Hermione?"

"I'm just tired." She replied, though in truth she felt fatigued and overwhelmed. Bottling everything up inside was exhausting, and she couldn't help but silently wonder how Harry had done it for so long without losing his sanity. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to retire for the evening." Hermione muttered, turning to continue her journey to the Tower. She got no further than two steps away before slamming into an invisible barrier than shimmered gold upon impact.

Stepping back and rubbing her nose, Hermione eyed the space warily.

"That was odd." She muttered to herself, taking another tentative step forward and reaching out to see if the barrier was still there. A slight sizzle and cackle of electricity emitted as her fingers came into contact with the shield. Pulling out her wand, Hermione tried every spell and counter curse she could think of, to no effect. Sighing heavily, she turned and gazed pathetically at the object of her affections. "Professor?"

Having watched her try to get away with a frown, Severus walked around, feeling out the perimeter of the shield. It was no more than five feet in diameter, just enough to give them each a bit of breathing space.

"I'm not sure…" He trailed off, pulling out his own wand and trying a far more advanced level of spells and counter curses. His efforts also had no effect, cause him to growl in agitation. Moaning softly in distress, Hermione let her head fall back in defeat.

That's when she saw it. At that moment, Hermione knew that when she got out of here, she was going to curse either Albus or Sebastian to the moon and back.

"BLOODY CHRISTMAS!" She screeched, shaking her fist menacingly at the innocently twinkling sprig of mistletoe hanging in the air above the unlikely couple. Startled at her outburst, Severus turned and gazed with concern at the usually composed woman. Seeing her threatening movement toward the ceiling, he tipped his head back and stared with astonishment at the object of her scorn.

"You have got to be kidding me." Having encountered such an enchanted item as a teenager at Hogwarts, Severus was all too aware of the ramifications that came along with the seemingly innocent mistletoe that was now emitting sparks the same golden shade as the barrier.

"Sir?" Hermione murmured tentatively, quirking a weary eyebrow. His shoulders stiff, Snape faced his student with an apologetic and apprehensive look upon his face.

"Albus seems to have a fondness for enchanting mistletoe to trap a couple of defenseless bystanders until either 24 hours pass, or they share a holiday kiss." The explanation was delivered blandly, but Hermione could still see the effect their predicament was having on the usually stoic professor. Her own heart was beating rapidly as she took in the implications that Severus presented.

"You have got to be kidding me." She repeated his earlier sentiment, heading tipping back once more to glare at the offending plant. She didn't hear or feel him step closer, and didn't register his closeness until she felt his long, rough fingers gently grasp her face.

"Hermione. Look at me." Severus whispered, and she complied with a slight blush on her face. "It's the only way…" He murmured in apology before swooping down and gently pressing his lips against her own moist, warm ones.

What should have been a short, innocent kiss soon turned into something much more. Instead of pulling away, Hermione trailed her hands up her professor's chest, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she stood on the tip of her toes to get better access to the gift that was being offered to her. Severus, for his own part, dropped his hand from her face to wrap both arms around Hermione's waist and pull her flush against his body.

The barrier and mistletoe had long since moved on by the time they finally parted, faces flushed and lips swollen as they breathed heavily and gazed through lust-filled eyes at each other.

Suddenly feeling every bit of the holiday spirit, Hermione offered the man holding her an adoring smile.

"Severus… I love you."

--------------

Safely ensconced in his office, Sebastian led Harry over to his couch and sat the hiccupping boy down. He could hear the soft sniffles and whimpers as he set about preparing a pot of chamomile tea.

"Thank you." Harry whispered, accepted the steaming liquid as Bastian fell softly onto the seat beside his young charge. Sipping at his beverage, the professor watched as Harry inhaled the soothing scent and then sipped tentatively at it.

"When you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen." Bastian murmured, reaching over and setting his cup down on the coffee table.

"Why do you care so much?" Came the whispered reply as the Gryffindor set his own cup beside his teacher's. Slightly surprised at the question, Bastian allowed himself a moment to ponder the real reasons as to why he was so intent upon healing the young man.

"Harry, you're a very special person." He began cautiously, unsure of how to approach the question in such a way that he wouldn't set Harry off again and cause him to run away.

"Yeah, yeah. Boy Who Lived and He Who Defeated Voldemort and all that other crap."

"No, that's not what makes you special to me." Bastian cut in, placing a restraining hand on Harry's knee as the boy prepared to push himself off the couch. Curious, Harry retreated back into the comfort of the couch and stared uncertainly at the older man. "You're an extremely talented young man, yes, but more than that, you care. You _care_, Harry. You're compassionate and loving, and most of all, you know how to _feel_."

Shocked, it was Harry's turn to gape at his professor. Chuckling softly, Sebastian reached over and tapped the 7th year's chin until his mouth closed with a soft click.

"You have an amazing heart, Harry. That's what makes you so special." He finished, smiling warmly at the amazed man beside him.

"No one has ever said anything like that to me before." Harry whispered after what seemed like an eternity. "Not even Ron or Hermione… or Sirius."

"Granted, I haven't known you as long as they have; but I've always been a rather astute observer. That is, unless my own foolish heart clouds my vision." A bitter edge seeped into his voice as an image of Miranda flashed through Bastian's mind. He shook it off easily, refusing to let his own pain cause a setback in Harry's progress.

"Sir… You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Please, when we're alone you may call be Sebastian. Or Bastian, whichever you prefer." The Defense professor said in an attempt to ease some of the awkwardness that the Gryffindor might be feeling from everything that had happened that evening.

"Sebastian… Bastian. Thank you." Harry whispered softly, and before he even knew what was happening, the younger man's lips were upon his own in a soft, tentative kiss that seemed to infuse both men with the warmth and solace they'd both been seeking for so long.

-------

**Next Chapter:** Severus' and Sebastian's reactions to Hermione and Harry's attentions; plus a masquerade Yule Ball and New Years Eve.

**REVIEW PLEASE! I shall love you all forever, if you do!**


	9. In Which The Snape Twins Screw Up

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note that the rating may change at any given time. A mild warning for Slash.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG, SS2/HP

**Author's Note: **I have gotten a few negative remarks in response to the budding relationship between Harry and Sebastian, to which I have this to say: I am the kind of person who does not discriminate against couples of mixed race, religion, sex, age (aside from dirty old pervs who lust after children), political affiliation, etc. While I respect your own personal beliefs, I will always stick to mine. So no matter how many nasty comments you hurl my way, I will remain steadfast, and I will not change myself, or my story for that matter, to please anyone but myself. I ask that if you do not like what you are reading, to simply stop reading and save me the trouble of deleting your unwanted reviews. Thank you.

Aside from that, I would like to, as always, thank the rest of my wonderful reviewers for your kind and inspiring words. You, as always, keep me writing!

Now, on to chapter 9! It's the longest yet!

Oh, and, since I love visual aids, I couldn't help but search out pictures to show what Severus, Sebastian, Harry and Hermione are wearing at the ball. The link can be found on my Author profile page!

ENJOY!

* * *

The original plan had just been to give Hermione a quick peck on the lips to free them from their mistletoe-induced confinement; but Severus soon found himself being pulled in deeper than he ever expected. Her lips were soft and sweet, melding just perfectly under his own, and he couldn't help but pull her flush against his rapidly heating body. When she finally pulled away, he was gazing through a foggy haze, and to his great bewilderment, he was looking upon the mysterious visage of Miranda Blackheart. 

"Severus, I love you." She murmured in that sultry, seductive voice of hers, and Severus could feel his head spinning.

"No." He protested weakly, stumbling away as the walls and floor warped around him, spinning into oblivion. Not trusting his eyes, Severus backed away until his hands came into contact with something solid, following the brick away from the taunting figure of the one woman he had ever loved -- the only one to have broken his heart. "NO!" He yelled again, more forcefully this time as he turned and ran blindly down the hall.

He was panting heavily, and by the time he reached the stairs to the dungeon, his vision had cleared. Confusion and agony warred on his features as he thundered the rest of the way to his office, where he intended on drowning all his past and present sorrows in a bottle or two of whiskey.

* * *

Hermione wasn't exactly expecting Severus to declare his love for her as well, but she certainly hadn't expected him to run away screaming as if the hounds of Hell were on his heels. 

Choking back her tears, Hermione turned and picked up the bag that had fallen to the ground during the kiss, trudging wearily the rest of the way to Gryffindor Tower. She could feel her heart breaking with every step she took.

"Mione, you look like hell!" Ron called out with a playful smile as she climbed through the portrait hole and into the nearly empty common room. It was nearing the middle of the night, and she was slightly surprised to see the red head still conscious.

"That's nice." She murmured, not really paying much attention as she dropped her bag and fell rather ungracefully into one of the plush chairs situated before the fireplace. Sighing heavily, Hermione rubbed her temples as she gazed wearily at her friend. "What are you still doing up?" She finally questioned, shooting him a quirked eyebrow as she tried to distract her mind from dwelling on the happenings of the past half hour.

"Waiting for you and Harry." He replied, furrowing his eyebrows in worry as he came to stand behind her chair. Resting his hands on her shoulders, Ron began applying gentle pressure in an attempt to soothe Hermione's obviously distressed soul. "Harry and I were waiting up for you, and it started getting late, so Harry went out to look for you. I take it he never found you, or else he would be back as well."

"Never saw him. I was in the Library, and Mr. S. came in and reminded me that I was out past curfew." She lied easily; eyes falling closed and head tilting back as she allowed Ron to massage her shoulders and upper back. At that moment, Hermione was extremely thankful that the youngest Weasley male was one of her best friends. Though they'd tried dating early on in their sixth year, they'd soon realized that they made better friends than lovers. Since their amicable break-up, Ron had actually been the one constant in Hermione's life, and their friendship had never been better. They shared a bond that no one could duplicate or would ever be able to replace, and it was this bond that kept Hermione from slipping back into desolation at that moment. Shaking the thoughts out of her head, she cracked open an eye and tilted her head back to look at Ron. "I came straight here from the Library. No Harry."

Bewildered, Ron paused in his ministrations and stared imploringly at the closed portrait hole.

"I wonder where he could be…"

* * *

'This is wrong.' Something screamed in the back of Sebastian's head as his lips moved sensuously over that of his student's. A student that just happened to be male, and Harry-bloody- Potter to top it all off! The fog finally clearing his emotionally deprived soul, Bastian broke off the kiss just as Harry began to run his tongue over the professor's lips. 

"This is wrong." He muttered out loud in shock, pushing out of the embrace and scooting back as far as the couch would allow him. Blinking rapidly at Harry, Bastian covered his mouth with a trembling hand and stared in astonishment.

Harry, breathing deeply, reached out to grasp Bastian's free hand in his own.

"No, it's not." He whispered beseechingly, brilliant green eyes full of a mixture of hope and fear. Jerking away, Bastian shook his head roughly.

"I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression, Harry, but I am **not** gay!"

"Neither am I. Or at least I didn't think I was." The Gryffindor stated matter-of-factly, adopting a tone and expression that showed Sebastian that he was starting to close down again. "I guess I was wrong. About a lot of things, apparently." Jumping off the couch, Harry began walking briskly toward the door.

"Harry! Please, don't leave like this!" Bastian called out, not wanting the young man to leave in a worse condition than when he'd arrived. 'Damn you, Bastian. You always seem to have a way of fucking things up, don't you!' He chastised himself as he pushed himself off the couch and literally tripped after Harry, landing in a heap on the cold, wood floor. Pushing up on to his elbows, Bastian looked up just as the boy wonder stopped and turned to gaze down blankly at him.

"I'm sorry, Professor." He whispered, his voice belaying the hurt that his eyes refused to show. "Thanks for listening." And then he was gone, and Bastian couldn't stop himself from banging his head repeatedly on the floor.

"I am such a bloody moron."

* * *

"There you are, mate!" Ron called out as Harry trudged up the stairs while the portrait swung shut behind him. Hermione, who had been staring blankly at the fire, turned her head and quirked an eyebrow at her other best friend. 

"You look like shite." She muttered, just about as tactless as Ron would have been, had he been given the chance to say it. Harry snorted, falling onto the couch beside the gangly redhead who was currently staring at Hermione in wonder, having never heard her swear before.

"Look whose talking." Harry shot back, not really feeling the emotion behind what was supposed to be a playful remark. Sensing that something had gone terribly wrong during his hunt for her, Hermione gave Ron a 'Go away' look so that she could talk with her other friend alone.

"Yeah. So. I think I'm ready to pass out for the night. See ya'll at lunch tomorrow, as I have absolutely no intention of waking before noon." With a wave and a concerned look, Ron climbed up the stairs and disappeared into the 7th year boy's dorm.

Climbing out of chair, Hermione walked over and sat in the vacant spot left by Ron. Snuggling up to Harry, she laid her head on his shoulder and grasped his hand in her own.

"What happened?" She whispered entreatingly, tilting her head up so that she could see her friend's face. Harry sighed heavily, looking away as his eyes fell closed.

"I don't want to talk about it." He muttered in exhaustion, propping his elbow on the arm of the couch and resting his forehead in his free hand.

"Of course you don't, but you're going to anyway."

"Hermione, just let it go." Harry pleaded, not wanting to delve into the embarrassing situation that he'd created only minutes ago. Sensing that she wasn't going to get anywhere with him at this rate, Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes in defeat.

"I shared a rather intimate kiss with Severus Snape, and then told him that I love him." It was barely audible, a whisper on the wind as Hermione allowed the dam of emotions to break and release the pent up tears that she'd refused to shed in front of Ron. "And he ran away."

Incredulous, Harry's eyes shot open as he looked down at the crying woman who was currently using his sweatshirt sleeve as a personal hankie. He had no idea that Hermione had a crush on the surly Potions Master, let alone loved him! And to admit such a thing to him, knowing full well that he wasn't the biggest Severus Snape fan, had to be a sign that the usually composed young woman was cracking under the pressure of the hidden emotions.

Feeling that he owed her something in return for baring her soul, Harry squeezed her hand until she opened her eyes and was looking at him.

"I kissed Mr. S." Certainly not expecting to hear that, but amused at the irony of them both having a thing for Snapes, Hermione cracked up. "Hey! It's not funny! He brushed me off, too!" Harry protested as whipped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but really." She began, laughing softly as she sat back up and grinned at the distraught young man. "If anyone had told us a few years ago that we'd be kissing Snapes, we would have either hexed them or had them committed to St. Mungo's for immediate psychiatric care. And yet, here we are."

"Yeah. Scorned lovers and all that crap."

"Technically, we were never lovers. A kiss does not a lover make." Hermione pointed out in her usual 'know-it-all' way.

"You know what I mean!" Harry chuckled, picking up a pillow and whacking her over the head with it.

"Hey!" She protested through giggles, picking up the pillow and hitting him back. Letting it rest at that, the two sat in amicable silence for a while, letting reality settle back over them.

"What are we going to do?" Harry asked finally, his voice soft as he gazed at Hermione.

"I don't know." She whispered in reply, worrying her bottom lip and picking at the fraying fabric of the old couch.

Silence reigned once again as each pondered what to do next.

"I guess we don't let our broken hearts rule our lives." Hermione murmured at last, ever the voice of reason, though, in truth, she knew it wasn't going to be that easy to get over.

"Yeah."

"We can do it, Harry. Together." Reaching over, the Head Girl wrapped her arms around the raven-haired man's shoulders and pulled him into a tight, reassuring hug.

"Ok." Harry replied softly, wrapping his own arms around Hermione and hugging her in return. As they pulled away, Hermione had a wicked smile on her face.

"And we can show them what they're giving up, in the mean time." Perplexed, Harry shot her a inquisitive look, eyebrows arched and nearly disappearing beneath his hairline.

"How?"

"Oh, I have a few ideas…" With a smirk, Hermione jumped headlong into the plan that she had devised on the spur of the moment. As she outlined the details, Harry couldn't help but grin wickedly in return.

* * *

"Did you HAVE to undress me?" Severus grumbled at Albus Dumbledore while he pulled on the last of his costume for the masquerade Yule Ball; a black tux, with a black vest and white shirt, as well as a rather sinister looking black mask. He hadn't intended on going to the bloody function, but the Headmaster had decided that he was going. Though he has protested furiously, it was to no avail. He was left naked with a pile of clothing thrust in his hand by the wizened, old wizard. 

"Well, it seemed to be just the prompt you needed to go to the ball!" Albus chuckled softly as he swished his wand in Severus' direction, effectively cleaning and tying the long, black hair back in an obsidian queue.

"Bloody menace to society, you are." The Potions Master shot back as he tied the magically sealed the mask in to place. Standing before the floor length mirror that Albus suddenly conjured, Severus raised his chin and straightened his shoulders. "It will have to do."

"You look handsome, my dear boy!"

"Spare me, Albus." Severus muttered while shoving his wand in a hidden inner pocket of his suit jacket. "Let's just get on with it, already." Striding purposefully out of his office, the dark man didn't hear the delighted chuckling of the Headmaster.

* * *

"Are you sure about this, Hermione?" Harry entreated, tugging at the jacket of his muggle suit as the aforementioned woman applied a liberal amount of gel to his hair and slicked it back with a wave of her wand. 

"You look amazing, Harry. You're going to knock everyone off their feet." She smiled approvingly as she rounded on him and applied his red mask with a sealing spell. "You're going to knock everyone off their feet! One Defense Professor included."

Grinning sheepishly, Harry kicked the floor with a newly polished black shoe.

"Thanks." He muttered, slightly embarrassed at the comment. Clearing his throat, he chanced a glance at the clock in the corner and furrowed his eyebrows. "You should go get dressed. The ball starts in fifteen minutes."

"Yes, yes. Just one more touch." She muttered in concentration as she pulled out a crimson red tie to match his vest and expertly fastened it around his neck, tucking the end inside the vest. "There! Ok, I'll be right back."

Rushing up the stairs to her private room, Hermione couldn't help but grin in excitement. She knew she wasn't the prettiest girl in the school, but she was going to make sure Severus regretted running away from her, one way or another.

Shutting her door, Hermione took a deep breath and gazed at herself in the mirror. She had already done her hair and make-up earlier in the day. All that was left was the dress and mask. Walking over to her armoire, she pulled the two items out and began stripping. Pulling on the long, flowing, white garment, she couldn't help but feel like a bride on her wedding day. After sealing the silver mask on, Hermione looked once more at her reflection in the mirror.

"Wow." She breathed out in awe. She was stunned at how different she looked, and couldn't help but giggling softly. With a final flick of her wand, Hermione's bare shoulders and collarbone was covered with a soft dusting of glitter. After stepping into her shoes, Hermione clasped the necklace she'd received for her 18th birthday around her neck, and then swung open her door and descended back into the common room.

"Holy Merlin's balls!" Ron gasped out as he and Harry turned to look at Hermione as she walked down the stairs.

"Yeah. What he said." Was all Harry could manage, gaping openly at the heavenly vision walking toward them. "If you weren't like a sister to me, I'd be all over you."

Hermione grinned, laughing softly at Harry's comment as she reached over and shut Ron's mouth for him.

"Thank you. You both look great." She replied as she slipped her relatively short wand down her cleavage. Both boys looked at her in surprise. "What? It's not like I can stick it in a pocket!"

"Oh. Yeah. Right." Ron muttered, blushing wildly as he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. "Let's go then, shall we?"

Taking the an arm of both men, Hermione left Gryffindor Tower with her two best friends.

* * *

Sighing into his goblet of red wine, Sebastian glanced disinterestedly around the Great Hall, not really seeing anything. 

"You scowl any more and the students won't be able to tell us apart." A low voice muttered from beside him, causing Bastian to jump slightly.

"Not a chance. I have a straight nose, unlike you." He bit back after regaining his composure, setting the drink down on a nearby table.

"Thanks in large part to you." Severus muttered, glaring as a pair of Hufflepuffs twittered by them.

"Ancient history, brother dear."

"You implicate your own age in that statement, I hope you realize." Came the acerbic reply, to which Sebastian snorted and folded his arms over his chest. He was about to reply when a couple entering the Great Hall caught his attention. Recognizing Ron Weasley with Padma Patil entering before them, Bastian could only assume that the breathtaking duo that had caught his attention were none other than Hermione Granger and Harry Potter.

Feeling the heat rise in all parts of his body, Bastian shifted uncomfortably as he watched the pair move fluidly to the center of the floor and begin dancing slowly together, laughing and smiling and looking as if they were already having the time of their lives. Severus, for his part, was not faring much better as he watched Harry dip Hermione, causing her to adopt the most enchanting smile he had ever seen.

"Mr. Potter and Miss Granger make quite the pair, don't you think?" Albus sounded from behind the two men, both of whom seemed to be enraptured in the duo in question.

Both men, flustered, cleared their throats and looked away as they turned and faced the old man.

"I could care less about my student's relationships, or lack thereof." Severus ground out through clenched teeth, though all he really felt like doing was glaring holes in the back of Potter's head.

"Yeah. What he said." Bastian murmured, attempting to run a hand through his hair before he realized it was stiff as a rock and spiked into sharp points.

Amused, Albus merely chuckled and popped a lemon drop into his mouth.

"You care more than you dare to admit." He called out as he walked away to dance with Minerva.

"He's got a point, you know." Bastian admitted at last, looking somewhat sheepish as he gazed longingly at Harry. It had taken him the entire week between the kiss and the ball for him to finally realize that he was far more attracted to Harry than he'd first been willing to admit. It didn't help that the young man positively sinful in his black and crimson suit. Shaking his head, Sebastian looked up at his brother and was surprised to see a similar expression of longing on his twin's face as he gazed at Hermione. 'Huh. So he does like her, after all.' He couldn't help but think with an amused smile. "You're looking a little smitten there, Sevvie."

Shooting his younger brother an annoyed glare, Severus glanced once more at the unlikely couple out the side of his eye. He hated to admit it, but ever since their shared kiss and the realization that Hermione was nothing like Miranda Blackheart, Severus had been thinking of his brightest pupil with less than pure thoughts. Tonight it was worse, though, for she looked like an angel sent down from heaven, and he wanted nothing more than to worship her.

"You're no better, you bloody poof." He muttered in return, having seen his brother's looks aimed at Mr. Potter. Though the wizarding world was far more lax in terms of same-sex couples, Severus was having trouble stomaching the thought of his only family with his arch nemesis' son.

"Is this the beginning of an amicable conversation?" Bastian joked, relieved to finally be talking to his brother without any snapping, sneering, sulking, scowling, or swearing involved.

"Sod off."

So much for that.

* * *

"Not only did it work, but we got them talking without biting each other's heads off!" Hermione whispered in delight hours later as she twirled about the room with Harry. Perplexed, the boy wonder looked quickly at where Hermione had nodded and noticed that the two Snapes seemed to be talking rather agreeably when they weren't shooting lust-filled stares their way. 

"Wow. We killed two birds with one stone. Sweet." He replied with a grin as he led his friend off the dance floor and over to a small, round table in the back of the room. Hermione nodded, a soft smile on her lips as she subtly admired the man who currently held her attention. After a gentle, teasing prod from Harry, she blushed softly and cleared her throat. Getting up to leave, the pair tossed one last smug look over their shoulder at the twins. With a wink, Hermione blew them a kiss as she sashayed out of the room on the arm of Harry. Smiling up at him, her eyes sparkled mischievously.

"The next move is up to them."

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Severus and Sebastian finally discuss their history, and plot ways in which to get Hermione and Harry back. 

REVIEW!


	10. In Which Games Are Played

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note that the rating may change at any given time. A mild warning for Slash, for the time being.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG, SS2/HP

**Author's Note: **I want to begin by apologizing profusely for my 5-month hiatus. I was completely bogged down by schoolwork, and had absolutely no time to devote to writing. Thankfully, the semester is over, and I am now FREE for the summer! I have every intention of picking up right where I left off, and finishing this story once and for all!

I have no idea where this story is going to end up, or how many more chapters there will be. The characters do their own thing; I merely write down their experiences. I never know what will happen next! LoL.

Once again, I would love to thank my loyal, amazing reviewers. If not for you, I would have abandoned this story long ago!

* * *

As the New Year approached, Hermione and Harry often found themselves sitting side-by-side before the Common Room fire; silently contemplating the situation they'd gotten themselves in to. Repeatedly, they assured each other that it would take more than a few days time for the Snape twins to sort out their respective feelings and approach the two Gryffindors; with good or bad intentions, they didn't know.

"I'm starting to wish I'd gone to the Burrow, rather than stay here during winter break." Harry muttered, picking absent-mindedly at the fraying fabric of the couch he currently inhabited with his best friend. Ron, along with a vast majority of Hogwart's students, had left the day following the Yule Ball to spend the holidays with his family. Knowing that both he and Ginny would have been miserable in the company of the two lovesick teenagers, Harry and Hermione had opted to stay at the castle for the ensuing two-week vacation.

"Why?" Hermione muttered, not bothering to look up from her meditative commune with the gently flickering flames of the fire. Silently, she had to agree with this sentiment; though she was curious as to Harry's reasoning.

"Staying here is torture. Pure torture." He replied after a moment's pause, shifting in his seat until he was facing the young woman beside him.

"How so?"

"Having to see him at every meal, in the halls, in the library, and even in the lavatory; it's driving me bloody insane!" Throwing his hands up in the air in frustration, Harry sighed heavily and gazed blearily at some point beyond Hermione's head; his eyes dancing as though he was in one of those locations, watching the object of his affection stride by.

"Oh. Yeah." Hermione nodded slowly, resting her head in her hand, elbow propped up on the arm of the couch. "I know what you mean." And boy, did she ever. Before this all started, she could have sworn that the Potions Master rarely left his dungeons; but now, when she most dreaded running in to him, he seemed to be everywhere.

There was a long pause as the two teens gazed balefully into space; the only sounds of the room being the rhythmic ticking of the clock over the fireplace, and the girlish giggling of a small group of first years hovered in a far corner.

"I need a drink." Harry declared at last, pushing out of the couch and looking around the room as if a bottle of alcohol would appear out of thin air. Hermione quirked an eyebrow at him, too frustrated and drained to reprimand her friend. She gave quite the opposite reaction actually, jumping out of her seat with a slight grin on her face.

"I could go for that."

* * *

"Go away!" The muffled shout echoed from beyond the door of Severus' private quarters before Bastian even had the chance to knock. Scowling, the defense professor shoved open the door and barged into the room.

"How do you do that!" He muttered in exasperation, falling ungracefully into the armchair opposite that of the one his twin was currently occupying. "You're almost as bad as Albus." Severus snorted at that, glaring at the other man while swilling the glass of whisky in his hand.

"Have you ever wanted to kill someone?" The potions master spoke in a manner as if he was discussing something as trivial as the weather. Bastian furrowed his eyebrows, perplexed and slightly curious. "I haven't stopped thinking about it since you've arrived." Severus finished in the same bored tone, raising his eyes to stare blankly at his brother.

"Har har." Came the sarcastic reply, accompanied by very obviously rolled eyes.

"What are you doing here, Sebastian?" Defeated, Severus sighed as he rose to refill his glass from the nearly empty decanter on the mantle, pouring another at the same time.

"I was bored?" Bastian tried, accepting the glass and draining the amber liquid in one go. "Hoo, that burns!" He muttered to himself, frowning slightly as he tipped his glass and studied the trickle of liquid that remained at the bottom.

"Somehow, I highly doubt that." Sitting back down, the older twin gazed vacantly at the other man over the rim of his glass. "You always seem to find something to amuse yourself, however trivial and asinine it may be."

"Oh yes, because having a life is _so_ juvenile."

"Just say what you've come to say and then leave me in peace." Severus grumbled, jumping out of his chair and stalking over to the fireplace; setting the full glass on the mantle and leaning against it, his robes perilously close to the fire within.

Silence reigned supreme as Severus contemplated the array of drinks before him. A rustle of fabric against leather and soft footfalls told him that Sebastian had risen from his seat. _'He better be leaving. I am definitely not in the mood for this tonight.' _He thought to himself, scowling at the brandy snifter. When he did not hear the open and close of his door, dread washed over him.

"I'm not leaving until we talk, Severus." The voice was soft, demanding, and so close that the surly man could feel the warm breath of his twin on the back of his neck. "Miranda Blackheart has stood between us for far too long."

* * *

"I never knew a Muggle game could be so much fun!" Draco exclaimed as he lay down yet another winning hand of Poker. "Trip Jacks with Ace and Queen kicker." Harry and Hermione grinned at the giddy Slytherin, amused at how fast he picked up the "poker lingo" they had been using. "Hand over your blouse, Hermione! And your pants, Harry!" As he held out his hands and gestured for them to give up the garments, the other 7th years circled around the makeshift table laughed raucously.

Grins disappearing instantly, both Gryffindors grumbled good-naturedly as they removed the articles of clothing and chucked them across the table to the bouncing blonde.

"No more fire whiskey for you!" Harry teased as he watched Draco don the shirt and pants over the other five layers of clothing that he had already won from the various players. "You're enjoying this far too much."

"Yes. Well. Seeing you naked has always been at the top of my priority list."

"I knew it! I knew you fancied me, you bloody poof!" Harry cackled maniacally, tipping back another shot of Seamus' mystery drink that they'd dubbed the 'Blubbering Hufflepuff', because one tended to blubber revoltingly like a Hufflepuff who'd been insulted or injured.

"Obviously alcohol impairs your ability to comprehend sarcasm."

"Don't lie. I know how you really feel." Harry winked roguishly, tipping over slightly in his inebriated state as he dealt out the next hand. "I'm game if you are! Nothing too kinky though. However, you're welcome to try whips and chains."

Deciding to play along, Draco quirked an eyebrow and looked at the black-haired teen thoughtfully.

"Chains and whips. Check. What about whipped cream? It's a little clichéd, but I'm sure we could put it to good use." The room erupted into laughter once again as the bottle of fire whiskey was passed around, the cards were played and clothes were won and lost.

"Where did you get all of this stuff anyway?" Seamus slurred slightly, holding up an unopened bottle of liquor while gesturing to the empty ones covering the tables and floor. Hermione and Harry smirked at each other.

"We raided Winky the house-elf's collection." Came the innocent reply as Hermione handed Justin her skirt. Only slightly more aware of her state of undress than Harry, she crossed her legs and arms to hide the black lace undergarments that she had received from her quirky Aunt Jo for Christmas.

"Holy monkey testicles, Hermione!" Draco exclaimed, eying her appreciatively. "All these years I thought you wore Granny panties, and here you are, wearing this barely-there, lace getup!"

"Sod off, Malfoy." The Head Girl blushed wildly, trying to distract herself with another round of whiskey. "Ginny would be pissed if she heard you talking like that to another woman!" She added before downing the fiery liquid, her fogged mind starting to drift, once again, to the one man she was trying to forget for the night. She was snapped from her musings, however, when Seamus spoke up, a mischievous glint in his eyes and a leer on his face.

"Since Harry and Hermione are almost out of clothes, how about we make this game a bit more interesting?"

* * *

"I've wanted to hate you for so long." Severus spoke evenly, grinding his teeth slightly as he looked upon the defeated visage of his only brother. Bastian has just finished regaling his end of the story, and looked so pathetic and sorry that the older Snape couldn't help but feel a twinge of remorse in his heart. "I guess, deep down, I knew that it was never your fault…"

"But you needed to blame somebody."

"I needed to blame somebody." He nodded solemnly, sitting heavily in his chair and running his hands over his face and through his hair. "And there you were. The popular twin. The one who always seemed to have everything that I wanted, and did everything that I couldn't." Sighing heavily, Severus leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "I thought Miranda was different. I thought she was the one thing that I had and you didn't. When I found out that that wasn't the case, I cracked."

Bastian felt pieces of his heart breaking with each word Severus spoke. He had never known his older twin felt that way.

"Sev… I always envied you! You were the one getting all the top grades, and earning the very rare praise of our parents. I was just the klutz that messed everything up." He explained, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "I, too, thought Miranda was the one thing that I would have that you didn't. I guess we were both wrong."

"We've both been fools."

"I guess so." Bastian agreed, looking up at his brother, who was staring back at him. "I'm sorry." He whispered, feeling relieved to be able to finally say those words after twenty years.

Pride and embarrassment kept him from replying at first, so Severus dropped his head into his hands once again. After a few deep breaths, and a fight with his inner demons, he looked up at his twin.

"I'm sorry too, Bastian."

The tension in the air was palpable, and both felt as if they were schoolyard friends making up after a adolescent fight, so to break the tension, Bastian jumped up and spread his arms out wide.

"HUG ME, FOOL!"

"Oh dear Merlin." Severus muttered, chuckling softly despite himself. He was about to retort with something sarcastic and witty, when a large bout of what sounded suspiciously like laughter pierced the otherwise silent night. Both men stopped what they were doing and looked at the brick wall opposite the fireplace.

"What in the bloody hell was that?" They muttered at the same time, one voice barely distinguishable from the other. Twin looks of surprise filtered across both faces as they suddenly made a beeline for the door.

* * *

Hermione giggled as she bent over the bit of parchment she was writing her bet on; the sounds of the remaining players doing the same echoing through the abandoned dungeon. The first to finish, she slid her bet into the middle of the table, and then took a moment to look around the room. Half a dozen teens were scattered around the room; either passed out, making out, or throwing up. Screwing up her nose in disgust as Justin emptied the contents of his stomach, Hermione returned her attention to the game as the Flop was dealt. Once again, Draco, who was covered from head to toe in layers of clothing, won.

"Who the hell bet Canada!" He muttered, eyeing a bit of parchment warily. Hermione grinned stupidly. Her brain was so befuddled from lack of sleep, alcohol, and the strain of trying not to think about Severus Snape, that she was finding it harder and harder to come up with interesting bets. She'd already had lick butterbeer off of Seamus' naked torso, and give Harry a lap dance; she wasn't sure how much of the kinky stuff she could take. Once again, her reverie was broken as Draco tossed another bit of parchment away with a faint look of disgust.

"The only person allowed to do THAT to me is Ginny, so no thank you!"

"Do what, exactly, to you, Mr. Malfoy?" The voice was low and deadly, causing every conscious teen to freeze wherever they were. One by one, they turned slowly toward the doorway. Hidden partially by shadows stood the two, menacing figures of the Snape twins.

Hermione and Harry looked at each other in dread and gulped loudly.

* * *

**AN**: So I realize that some of the characters are slightly out of character, but it was the direction they wanted me to take them, so… REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

**Next Chapter**: The twins get an eyeful, school starts again, and detentions are served.


	11. In Which Hearts Are Set Free

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and content. Note that the rating may change at any given time. A mild warning for Slash, for the time being.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG, SS2/HP

**Author's Note: **Once again, I want to thank my amazing, loyal reviewers. Color me surprised when I woke up the afternoon after I posted chapter 10, and instead of the 2 or 3 reviews I expected, 10 were waiting for me! And they only increased after that! Anyway, I promised you that I would finish this story this summer, and I have every intention of doing so… So, on that note, here's chapter 11!

* * *

"Professors! Um…" Hermione jumped up, looking around wildly, her brain clearing somewhat as the situation began to register. She could not believe that the two men she and Harry most wanted to avoid were the two men that caught them at the most unfortunate of times. "It's not what it looks like, I swear!" Springing to his feet beside her, swaying slightly and turning a pale shade of green, Harry nodded in agreement, similar thoughts running through his own head.

There was a long pause of silence, the only sound being that of the other students rushing to and fro in a desperate attempt to redress or hide in any of the shadowy corners that the small room offered. It was during this time that the two Gryffindors facing the Snapes realized exactly how bare they were. Hermione, in only her undergarments, looked around desperately, grabbing at the first discarded robe she could find and wrapping it quickly around her body. Harry, garbed in plaid green boxers, grabbed a nearby chip bowl and attempted to hide his own state of undress, without much success.

"I'm not here… I'm not here…" Harry muttered, squeezing his eyes shut and bouncing from foot to foot. "Gods above, why me!"

There was a slight clearing of throats from the direction of the twins, before Severus stepped forward into the dim light, his brother a few steps behind him.

"Pray tell, Miss Granger. If it's not what it looks like," The Potions Master paused, folding his arms over his chest and glaring menacingly at the students before him, "then what the hell is it?"

Bowing her head down, Hermione bit her lip while trying to think of a good excuse. While usually full of them, when more than slightly inebriated her brain refused to think with enough coherence to put up a plausible defense.

"It's just a little New Years Eve gathering…" She muttered softly, raising her head again with a sheepish look on her face. "Um… Happy New Year?"

"If it is merely a New Years Eve gathering, than why are Messrs Potter and Malfoy so drunk that they can barely stand?" Sebastian spoke calmly, eyeing Harry with something between disappointment and longing.

"Hey!" Draco protested, and as he stood, he began tipping forward, causing him to lean on the table to keep his balance. "I'm not as think as you drunk I am!" Frowning at the table, Draco fell back into his chair as Sebastian gave him a pointed look that clearly said _'You've demonstrated my point perfectly.'_

Severus held up his hand to stave off any more excuses, closing his eyes and looking positively livid.

"50 points from every house, and detentions with Filch for everyone who was stupid enough to attend this 'little gathering'." He ground out between clenched teeth, opening his eyes and glaring at the group. "You two," Severus pointed at Harry and Hermione, who gave each other another frightened look, "follow me."

Resigned to her fate, Hermione made to move forward to do the professor's bidding when the room suddenly started spinning.

"Oh my…" She murmured, remembering just how much she had to drink as the world began to go black.

'_Bloody hell!'_ Severus thought with a mixture of frustration and worry as he dove forward to catch the young woman as she passed out.

"Hermione!" Harry lurched forward moments later, his own reflexes impaired by his own acute intoxication. Sebastian stepped forward and caught the 7th year as he nearly stumbled into his potions professor and best friend.

"All of you get out of here!" Severus bellowed as he picked Hermione up and cradled her in his arms. "And if any of you dare skip your detention in the hope that I do not remember every face that was here, you will wish you had never stepped foot in my dungeons!" There was a sudden cacophony of sound as the students hurried to do his bidding, tripping over the empty bottles of liquor and each other in the process.

When the room was empty save for the professors and two Gryffindors, Severus closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Turning to Sebastian, he nodded toward Harry, who was trying to push away from his twin without much success.

"You take care our _Golden Boy_," He sneered at the young man, who had finally given up his struggle and was groaning softly as Bastian held him up, "and I'll do something with Miss Granger, here." Striding toward the door, Severus scowled as he heard his brother call after him.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Sevvie!"

"Which means I can do just about anything!" He called back over his shoulder with the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Rolling his eyes at the hearty chuckling emanating from the room behind him, Severus shook his head and strode swiftly to his quarters.

Entering the dimly lit room, the potions master kicked the door shut behind him with his foot before striding over to the couch and gently laying the young woman on it.

"What am I going to do with you?" He whispered, running his hand through his hair as he gazed sadly at Hermione, who shifted on the couch and fell into a deeper slumber. For a few moments, Severus stood before the couch and silently watched the young woman while trying to fight off the rising emotions in his once cold heart.

Finally, he moved to his favorite chair and fell heavily into it. Propping his elbow on the arm, he rested his head in his hand and gazed longingly at Hermione. Sleep would not come for him this night; of that, he was sure.

* * *

"What am I?" Harry grumbled, yanking away from Sebastian as he stumbled into the defense professor's private quarters. "A toy for your amusement?"

"Of course not!" Bastian objected, slamming the door behind him and striding forward until he was standing directly in front of the swaying boy. "Though your behavior at this moment is quite childish, and I'm finding it pretty hard to take you seriously!" He continued harshly, looking, for once, every inch the dreaded potions professor's twin.

Harry stepped back, surprised at this sudden outburst. His mind, which was slowly clearing, was starting to fully comprehend what was going on. Sebastian, for his part, was finding it extremely difficult to look anywhere but at the pale, Quidditch and battle hardened torso of his student.

"For Merlin's sake, put this on!" He finally muttered, shrugging out of his robes and shoving them in Harry's hands. Quietly, the young man obliged. "Sit down, Harry." Bastian murmured softly, running his hand over his face as he waited for the Gryffindor to do so. There was a pause as the young man sat down, fiddling with the hem of the robes.

"It's all your fault." Harry whispered quietly, bowing his head as he folded his hands in his lap. "Well, mostly your fault."

"What!" Bastian muttered, frowning as he stood before the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.

"It was the only way I could think to get you out of my mind." The Boy Wonder murmured, looking up hesitantly, his emerald eyes shining with a pain beyond anything the defense professor could have ever imagined. Bastian's eyebrows flew up into his hairline, his mouth gaping as he fell heavily onto the couch beside Harry. "I thought, maybe, the alcohol would numb all the pain of the past, and the present. I thought that it would banish your image from my mind… Squelch the feelings… The attraction…" He gulped softly, eyes boring into the obsidian depths of the man beside him. "The desire…"

"Harry, I, uh…" Stumbling over his words, his heart beating rapidly and his stomach doing flip-flops, Sebastian looked helplessly at the young man beside him. "It's just a silly, adolescent crush… You can't possibly feel that way!"

"You're wrong." Harry spoke softly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I am no adolescent. I have seen things… done things that wizards twice my age have never encountered; things that have caused me to mature faster than any of my peers."

"Harry, be reasonable." Bastian tried, though he could feel his own resolved quickly crumbling as his heart truly awoke for the first time in twenty years.

"The heart does things for reasons that reason does not understand." It was barely more than a whisper, but the look of pure hunger, fear and hope in Harry's eyes spoke volumes to the older man. "My heart died the day I lost my Godfather. He was the only family I had left; and a part of me loved him more than I wanted to admit at the time." He took a deep breath, blinking as a salty drop trailed effortlessly down his pale cheek. "I never thought I would feel that way again, about anybody. But then you came along, and you cared. I mean, I know my friends care, but they couldn't possibly understand the loss I had gone through. When I looked into your eyes that day I kissed you, I knew you could understand… Because you'd suffered a similar loss."

"Severus."

"The bond between twins is far more profound than that between a Godfather and his Godson… And though Professor Snape wasn't dead, it was apparent that he treated you as if you were." Harry continued, dropping his eyes to the ground. "You've had to suffer through that for twenty years, and I've only had to endure two…" He trailed off, looking up once again and catching Sebastian's eyes. "I knew, that out of everybody in my life, you would be the one to understand."

Blinking back the tears _('Snapes do not cry!'),_ Bastian reached out and took Harry's hands in his own. The 7th year hiccoughed softly, a soft smile creeping across his face.

"You set my heart free."

"Oh, Harry…" Bastian whispered, and before he knew it, the young man was in his arms. Soft, warm lips, salty from tears, sought out his, and he found himself responding with a fervor he hadn't ever thought possible. Sliding his hands up Harry's back, the younger Snape twin ran his fingers through the ebony locks at the base of the Gryffindor's neck.

Pulling away to catch his breath, Sebastian cupped Harry's cheeks and looked intently into the startlingly green eyes. A slight nod was all he needed before recapturing the youth's mouth, tongue running slowly over his bottom lip. Harry ceded entrance, his own tongue dueling for control as his shaking hands slowly climbed up his professor's chest. One by one, the buttons of Bastian's shirt was slowly undone, until the seventeen year old dipped his hands underneath the white fabric, savoring the feel of warm skin underneath his fingertips.

"Harry, no…" Chest heaving with the fight to drawn in air, Bastian cupped Harry's hands and pulled them into his lap.

"Why?" Came the soft, one word inquiry.

"As much as we both may want to continue on, the simple fact is that you're drunk." He replied, an apologetic smile on his face. "I could never forgive myself if I let this continue, only to have you regret it in the morning."

"I won't!" Harry protested, though he couldn't disagree with the fact that he was still quite intoxicated. His head was buzzing, and every movement seemed to make him dizzier.

"Humor me, just this once."

"All right." Came the soft reply, a gentle smile accompanying it.

"It's late. You should get to bed." Sebastian murmured after a few moments silence. Harry nodded, but didn't move.

"Don't make me leave." He pleaded quietly, a hopeful look on his face. Bastian nodded wordlessly, standing and pulling the Harry up with him. Guiding him through the room, the professor led him to a door in the far corner, opening it with his free hand and pulling Harry through. After helping the young man out of his robe, and shedding his own clothes until he was clad in nothing but red, satin boxers, Sebastian directed him over to the giant bed in the middle of the room. Silently, they climbed in, Harry spooning himself against the chest of his counterpart, while Bastian wrapped his arms around his torso.

"Happy New Year, Harry." He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Harry's neck as he pulled him closer.

* * *

The smell of freshly brewed coffee woke Hermione the next morning, and instead of soothing her as it normally did, she felt like throwing up. Struggling to hold down the contents of her stomach, the Head Girl slowly cracked open her eyes and took in the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Where am I?" She muttered, trying to sit up. The wave of nausea, and the pounding in her head had her immediately laying back down and closing her eyes. "Dear Merlin, I am never drinking another drop of alcohol in my life!"

"I should hope not, Miss Granger."

"You have got to be kidding me." She grumbled after hearing the acerbic reply. Without opening her eyes, Hermione attempted to sit up again, this time succeeding. Holding her head in her hands, the young woman swallowed loudly and peeked up at her Professor through her eyelashes. "Which way is up?" She asked as the room began to spin again.

"You know, I really don't want to give you this." Severus muttered, holding a vial of Hangover Relief potion in front of her face. "Instead, I should probably make you suffer for your appalling lack of decorum during last night's events." He snatched away the potion as Hermione reached out for it. "However, I find myself rather curious as to your reasoning for procuring an unearthly amount of alcohol and throwing a rousing game of strip poker with your fellow year-mates."

Hermione scowled at her professor, reaching out once more for the vial. Handing it over, Severus watched with mild amusement as she downed the contents and sighed happily.

"Much better."

"You haven't answered my question, Miss Granger." Severus tapped his foot impatiently, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring down at the young woman in what was supposed to be an intimidating manor. "And I'm growing rather impatient with you. Perhaps I should turn this matter over to your Head of House and the Headmaster. I'm sure they find your actions in violation of the responsibilities of your title… Tell me, Miss Granger. Would you like to still be the Head Girl by the end of this evening?" He couldn't resist bating her; verbal sparring with an intellectual equal was always stimulating for him. Which meant that verbal sparring with an intellectual equal that just happened to be the current object of his lust was bound to be arousing. He was shocked, then, when instead of taking the bait, the young woman looked up at him with tears slowly trickling down her face.

"It's all your fault."

* * *

**AN:** HAHA! I am the evil cliffie maker! Well, Bastian and Harry finally got together; but I had to leave something for next chapter!

Now, here's the deal. If you all help me reach 400 reviews by June 23rd, I will get Hermione and Sevvie together in the next chapter. However, if you don't, I'm going to drag it out further!

**Next Chapter:** It's all up to you reviewers… MWAH!


	12. In Which Love Is In The Air

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** The rating has increased to M, for increased language and content. Note that the rating may change at any given time. A slash warning is also implied for the rest of the story.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG, SS2/HP

**Author's Note: **Some people may call me cruel, for sticking that 400 review thing up; but in all honesty, I knew it wasn't going to be reached, and I had every intention of posting the chapter with Hermione and Severus finally getting together (though not "together"). I'm just trying to gauge how many readers I really have; because, honestly, some people read but don't bother reviewing.

Anyway, I wanted to wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to **DarkLady4**, one of my lovely reviewers.

I also want to say a huge THANK YOU to **Seabiscuit0810** and **Whitney** for keeping open minds about Harry and Sebastian's relationship. I really appreciate that you are still reading the story, despite that this pairing unsettles you. It shows great strength of character in both of you.

Also, I wanted to point out something that was brought up by **Maz**, who remarked on my 'good beta'. I just want to point out that I don't have a beta. I do all of my own writing, grammar, syntax, etc. I didn't get an A in both semesters of English at college and a 3.92GPA for nothing! LoL.

Once again, I want to thank **ALL** of my AMAZING reviewers. You guys keep me wanting to write; and I truly appreciate your support. Now, on to Chapter 12!

* * *

"I _beg_ your pardon?" Snape was livid, his shoulders suddenly stiff, his midnight black eyes full of menace. He certainly hadn't been expecting that reaction! The gall of her, insinuating that he was the reason for her unmitigated disaster of a party, her foray into the world of alcoholic beverages, and her subsequent hangover. Well, that just wouldn't do! When he got through with her, she was going to wish she had nev-

"Unrequited love does tend to cause even the most level headed of individuals to do the most asinine things." She interrupted his musings, her voice soft, her eyes sad as they searched his own. Gaping, Severus fell heavily into the chair across from the couch.

"Come again?"

"Since my first year here, I've wanted to hate you." Hermione spoke quietly, gaze shifting back to her lap. "God, how I wanted to hate you. After all the things you ever said or did to Harry… to Neville… to me." She sighed softly, standing and walking around the couch; silently surveying the room as she carefully chose her next words. "Yet each year, you continuously impressed me with your knowledge, your wit, and your habit of saving my friends and I time after time."

Severus sat quietly, gaping slightly as the young woman paced around his living room, saying things to him that had never been uttered before. Prudence told him that it would not be wise to interrupt the girl until she had finished what she needed to say; his heart told him to listen and understand.

"The summer before fifth year, I saw you outside of school… Out of your element." Hermione paused, taking a deep breath before diving into territory that she knew she would never be able to come back from. "You were still this sarcastic bastard that nobody wanted to come within a ten-mile radius of; but you always had this look of determination… Like you would stop at nothing to rid the world of the very thing that destroyed your soul."

Not really believing what he was hearing, Severus blinked a few times, trying to wake up from this dream. When he opened his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time and Hermione was still there, dressed in nothing more than lace panties and black robes, reading his personality like the books she so adores, he knew that this moment was really happening. For the first time in his life, he found himself letting her go on; for by now he had usually slammed the door in the unwanted face, effectively closing them out of his life forever. But Hermione…

"Sixth year I finally realized the truth that I had long tried to deny." Hermione whispered at long last, breaking Severus from his stupor. With a curious, slightly wondrous expression on his face, he looked up at the amazing woman standing before him. Watching in fascination as she dropped to her knees and reached out to take a hold of his hands, Severus couldn't help but feel the jump in his heart. Taking a deep breath, an emotion filling her eyes the likes of which he had never seen, Hermione continued in a slightly trembling voice. "Despite how much I wanted to hate you, I fell in love with you instead."

"Miss Granger… Hermione…" Severus stammered, blinking rapidly and looking all around as if the perfect words would just appear out of thin air. She smiled warmly at him, reaching up to run her smooth, cool hand down his cheek.

"I know, Severus." She murmured, catching him by surprise. "I don't expect you to change over night -- or at all, for that matter -- and I'm certainly not expecting flowers and candy. Those just aren't you… And all I want is _you_."

Mind running a thousand thoughts a second, Severus wasn't really aware he was speaking until it was too late.

"But that still doesn't explain why the events of last night are all my fault." Instead at exploding at Severus for his terrible time and 'open mouth, insert foot' worthy words, Hermione laughed softly.

"Admittedly, it is mainly my and Harry's pathetic lack of judgment that is to blame; but we truly did go into last evening intending to drown our sorrows, so to speak." She explained, surprising Severus further as she picked herself up off the floor and promptly deposited herself in his more than welcoming lap. Knowing he should protest, but unable to do so, Severus sighed softly and wrapped his arms around her waist; effectively pulling her closer into his body. "We couldn't stop thinking about you and your brother, respectively, and how it was becoming apparent that neither of you returned our affections. So, we decided to raid Winky's closet, round up some friends, and have a New Years Eve party with the intent of forgetting about the Snape twins for at least one night."

"That doesn't excuse your behavior…" He tried in one last desperate attempt to push her out of his heart. He was failing miserably. All he could think about was chucking all the rules and regulations out the window, throwing caution to the wind, and doing something for himself, for once.

"No, it doesn't." Hermione remarked, tilting her head to the side and studying the dark, unreadable face before her. "But if I hadn't tossed out the old rule book and thrown caution to the wind, then I wouldn't be here right now, in your arms."

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Hermione blushed softly at his words, dropping her head to hide the bright pink tinge. "Hermione," Severus whispered, tilting her head up with the tip of his finger, "thank you for loving me and not expecting the world of me… Aside from my brother, you're the only person to open your heart to all of me; sarcastic bastard and all."

"Your welcome." A whisper on the wind, the words mesmerized the professor almost as much as the moist, red lips that had muttered them.

"I'm going to kiss you." He murmured, brushing a lock of stray curls from Hermione's face and leaning forward slightly. A radiant smile crossed the young woman's face before he closed the distance and captured her mouth with his own. Chaste at first, it soon turned into more as their passions flared; igniting fires that neither had ever felt before. Severus nipped and licked at Hermione's bottom lip, drawing a soft moan and whimper out of her. Granting entrance, the young woman tasted heaven as their tongues battled for dominance. It was a long while before either pulled away, breathing heavily and gazing intently into each other's eyes.

"Now it's my turn to thank you." Hermione whispered, placing another soft kiss to his lips before sliding out of his lap.

"Where are you going?" Frowning in confusion, Severus bolted out of the chair and followed the Head Girl to the door.

"To my rooms, before anyone notices that I'm missing." She replied nonchalantly.

"But…"

"I want to take this slow, Severus. I want to get to know you – all of you --, and you me." Biting her already swollen bottom lip, Hermione gave the potions master a hopeful smile. "Call me old fashioned, but I'm saving myself for marriage."

Nodding in understand, the older man swept forward, pulling her into his arms and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"We'll take as much time as we need."

* * *

"I've been touching it, and rubbing it, and blowing on it softly…" Harry murmured softly, looking at the man on the bed beside him.

"What good does blowing on it do?" Came the playful reply as Bastian moved closer to the young man.

"I don't know. Just seemed like the thing to do at the time." He muttered, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he increased the pressure of his hands.

"While I admit that rubbing it with a bit of pressure does alleviate some of the throbbing, I really don't see how blowing on it helps." By now, Bastian was smiling coyly at Harry, who was starting to sweat from the exertion.

"I just don't know why this morning, of all mornings, I had to wake up with a bloody," throwing his hands up in frustration, Harry scowled at Bastian while shaking his fists in the air, "migraine!"

"Well, that will teach you to drink copious amounts of alcohol when you don't have a handy supply of Hangover Relief potion within reach." Chuckling, the defense professor rummaged in the bedside table and pulled out a vial of said potion, handing it to Harry with a grin. "Luckily, you chose to sleep in my quarters, which is always stocked with a liberal quantity… Just in case." Smirking, Bastian watched as Harry downed the potion in one go and grimaced at the bitter flavor.

"You are nuts." Harry rolled his eyes, rolling over into Bastian's waiting arms and snuggling further into the covers.

"As long as I'm not cashews. I like cashews. I just might have to eat myself. That might get awkward."

Smacking the older man with the nearest pillow, Harry laughed heartily. Bastian, fighting back, soon had Harry on his back, a large grin on his face.

"Well, Mr. Potter… What have we here?" Quirking his eyebrows, Bastian shifted slowly until he was laying half on top of the younger man.

"It's my broom stick…" Harry trailed off, a sly smirk on his face. "Want to go for a ride?"

"Harry!" Bastian exclaimed, shocked and aroused all at once.

"What? It really is my broom." Reaching underneath the covers, Harry rummaged around in a hidden pocket of his boxers and extracted his shrunken Firebolt. "I bring it with me wherever I go. You know, just in case I need to make a quick escape, or subtly hit on my defense professor. Things like that."

"You…" Shaking his finger at Harry, who was crawling out of the bed and throwing Bastian's robes back over his shoulders, Bastian grinned at the departing Gryffindor. "You will pay for that, mister."

"I'm looking forward to it." And with a rougish wink, Harry was gone.

* * *

Twin whistles could be heard coming from either end of the corridor as the Fat Lady primped in her frame, checking her elaborate coiffeur in a mirror. Turning as Mr. Potter and Miss Granger came into view, both wearing identical grins and whistling Dixie, the Fat Lady quirked her eyebrows curiously.

"What has you children in such a happy mood?" She asked as the couple came to a stop before her. Harry shot Hermione a dazed grin, who replied in kind.

"Cornish Pixie Poi Poi." They intoned together, and at first the Fat Lady was confused. Cornish Pixie Poi Poi had them all in a tizzy? It was the sudden burst of giggling that reminded the portrait that they weren't answering her question, merely stating the password to enter Gryffindor Tower.

"Very well, then." She huffed, swinging open and allowing entrance to the duo.

When they were safely locked away in Hermione's private room, Harry dropped heavily onto her bed with a dreamy sigh, his best friend right beside him.

"Remind me to play strip poker more often." He mumbled, causing Hermione to laugh.

"I take it your night went well?" She inquired, resting on her elbows and looking at the boy next to her with avid curiosity written across her face.

"It was," Harry paused, gazing at the ceiling with a mixture of wonder and giddiness, "incredible. Simply incredible."

"So?" Hermione prodded, bouncing up until she was sitting upright on the bed and grinning down at her friend. "What happened?"

"I explained everything I was feeling, and he really, truly understood." Sitting up as well, Harry looked at Hermione, who noticed the awe in his voice immediately.

"And?"

"And then we kissed… And things started to heat up, but we decided to take things slow." Hermione was amazed at the overnight transformation in her friend. The boy hadn't been the same since Sirius was killed; and she was starting to doubt that she'd ever see him truly _alive_ ever again. But now, he was full of life and radiance and love.

"That's amazing, Harry. I'm really happy for you." Reaching over, the young woman embraced the black haired boy in a hug that lasted a few minutes. Taking a deep breath as if to take in all the events of the past twenty-four hours, Harry pulled away and gazed intently at Hermione.

"What about you, Miss Perfect Prefect Head Girl?"

"Well, apparently I passed out last night." Hermione muttered, slightly embarrassed. "So Professor Snape took me back to his quarters to sleep it off. When I woke up in the morning, he started railing me about my behavior and I told him it was his fault."

"I told Bastian that too!"

"Huh. Well, it sort of is their fault!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. When Harry grinned at her and shook his head, Hermione rolled her eyes and continued. "Anyway, that got me into explaining my feelings over the past few years, and next thing you know, we're kissing and agreeing to take things slow. And here I am."

"So… We're both dating Snapes." Harry said bluntly, biting his bottom lip to hold back the laughter.

"Yeah… Twins, no less." The reply was soft, and looking at Hermione, Harry could tell she was struggling to hold back the laughter as well.

"Well. You know what that means." Harry said after a few moments silence. "Hell has officially frozen over."

* * *

**AN**: So, a little drama with Hermie and Sevvie, but they are finally a couple. And a bit of lighthearted playing between Harry and Bastian! Again, remember that some of these characters may seem out of character, but it's the direction they've been demanding I take them. I only write what the little voices in my voice command me to write!

**Next Chapter:** February brings Valentines Day. Can Severus be romantic? Will Bastian ever figure out what romantic gift to give to another man? And will Hermione move out of her old fashioned ideas once and for all? STAY TUNED!

_**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**_


	13. In Which Hearts Are Given Freely

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** The rating has increased to M, for increased language and content. Note that the rating may change at any given time. A major slash warning is also implied for the rest of the story.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG, SS2/HP

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry that this chapter took me longer to update. I had a very hectic weekend, and was too exhausted by the time it came to sit down and write. However, I didn't want to keep putting it off, so I wrote some last night, and finished it today!

I want to point out that this chapter has a very large smut warning. However, since ff.n doesn't allow NC-17 material, you will have to visit my livejournal fan fiction archive to view the entire chapter. You can find the link to said journal in my author profile, or by going to the livejournal website and locating joycutting through the search apparatus.

Anyway, I want to thank you all again for reviewing! I love you guys!

* * *

"So, how are things going with Mr. S?" Hermione whispered to Harry one blustery February afternoon as the Gryffindor trio studied in a secluded corner of the library. Ron, who was clued into the secret relationships of his two best friends over a month ago, shifted closer to hear the answer.

"Great, actually." Harry grinned as he looked up from his Transfiguration essay, setting his quill down as he leaned in conspiratorially. "I don't see him as much as I would like to; but all things considered, I can safely say that things couldn't be better."

"That's great Harry, really." Hermione smiled warmly at the smitten young man, her own heart fluttering as she thought of Severus.

"Yeah, mate. I'm happy for you." Ron smirked as he shifted his attention to Hermione. "At least you chose the presentable one."

"Oh shoosh, you!" The Head Girl slapped Ron's arm, giving him a slightly perturbed look before returning to her own essay. Silence reigned for a few moments as the teens worked diligently, the sounds of their quills scratching against the parchment joining the murmur of rustling papers and low voices in the nearly empty room. Finally, Ron threw down his quill with a frustrated sigh.

"This is hopeless!" He grumbled, scowling at the parchment. Rolling her eyes, Hermione wordlessly shifted her immaculate notes across the table. Ron grinned. "You're a lifesaver!"

"I know. What would you do without me?"

"Probably sleep better at night knowing that I don't have a best friend who is dating my greasy bat of a potions professor." The red head replied, receiving a glare reminiscent of said potions professor from Hermione and a sound smack upside the head from Harry.

"Yes, well, at least I have a love life, thank you very much!" Her voice slightly raised, Hermione looked highly affronted and slightly uncomfortable. When they'd told Ron, he'd been relatively understanding; but he still got squicked thinking about Hermione and Severus. For some reason, despite the fact that Sebastian was Snape's identical twin brother, Ron found it easier to accept Harry's relationship than hers.

"It's not my fault that Hannah dumped me again!"

"Right." Scowling at her parchment, Hermione scribbled furiously in an attempt to cool off her temper before she actually blew up at Ron. This conversation occurred almost every time the subject was brought up, and the young woman was getting quite irked by her hotheaded friend. The sound of huffing made her sigh heavily and look up finally. "I'm sorry, Ron, but really; you can be so thickheaded sometimes." Shaking her head, Hermione began packing her things away as Harry nodded in agreement and Ron gaped at his two friends. "Why can't you just accept the fact that I am happy with Severus and leave it be?"

"But-" Ron started to protest, but Hermione quickly held up her hand to stave him off.

"Just forget it. I'll see you guys at dinner." Slinging her bag over her shoulder, the Head Girl strode swiftly from the library without glancing behind her. She was just rounding the corner near the Ancient Runes classroom when she was struck in the face by some unknown object. "Urgh! What the…?" She muttered, batting it away as she focused her eyes to better identify the item. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Scowling at the diaper-clad fairy, Hermione dodged one of the arrows it aimed toward her and hurried into the classroom. While she loved the beauty of Valentine's Day, she wasn't too thrilled with the commercialism the romantic holiday entailed. "I'd thought Dumbledore had had enough with this Cupid nonsense back in second year!" She grumbled to herself as she set up for class. Apparently, she was wrong.

* * *

"I've never had a romantic bone in my body." Severus muttered to himself as he eyed the various cases full of jewelry with something akin to horror. "How in Hades am I supposed to find the perfect gift for Hermione when I haven't got the slightest clue as to what I'm doing?"

"Well there's a first." A cheerful voice sounded behind him, causing the Head of Slytherin to groan audibly and shut his eyes in frustration. "I've never known a time when my dearest brother didn't know what he was doing!"

"Why me?" He muttered toward the ceiling as Sebastian came to a halt beside him. Scowling at his twin, Severus stood straighter and quirked a haughty eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be out playing with your little friends?"

"Come off your high horse, Sevvie." Bastian smirked, patting the now glaring man on the shoulder and walking past him to gaze curiously into one of the glass boxes. "Just accept that I'm your brother, you love me, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Why must you insist on using that infernal nickname?"

"Because I do so enjoy that scowl of yours." Came the cheeky reply as the defense professor smirked. "It helps to solidify the fact that I am the better looking twin in people's minds."

"Bastard." Severus grumbled, though he wasn't truly angry with his brother. After a month of these exchanges, he was growing quite used to them. He was even beginning to enjoy them, Merlin help him.

"I learn from the best."

"If it weren't for the fact that I actually need your assistance, then I would tell you to sod off." Frowning slightly, the older twin moved beside his brother to gaze indifferently at the jewelry within the case. "As it is, I am quite lost. I've never had to buy a gift for anyone on Valentine's Day. Who invented this infernal holiday, anyway!"

"I believe it has something to do with a muggle Saint." Bastian replied, shrugging apathetically. "All joking aside though, you're not the only one having difficulties procuring the perfect gift."

"Something tells me that this is going to be a painfully long day."

* * *

"Candles… Check. Music… Check. Gift… Check. Dinner… Shit!" Bastian dropped the list he was going over as he realized that he'd totally forgotten to talk to the house elves about the elaborate meal he'd had planned. Instead, he'd taken the entire afternoon to meticulously prepare the room to the exact specifications recommended by the latest edition of Witch Weekly. With Harry coming in less than ten minutes, there was no way dinner would be prepared in time.

Rushing around the room, a frantic look on his face, the nervous man crabbed any and all biscuits and candies he could find; dumping them unceremoniously on the plates and shoving the silver covers over them. He had just enough time to order a bottle of red wine from the kitchens before the telltale knock of Harry's arrival sounded at the door. Dimming the lights and smoothing down his white dress shirt, Bastian cleared his throat nervously.

"Come in!"

The door creaked open slowly, a dark figure emerging from beyond. Shifting anxiously, Bastian watched as Harry peeked first his head through, a shy smile on his face, before the rest of his body slid through. Shutting the door behind him, Harry cleared the Marauder's map and folded it away as he took in the dimly lit room; candles all around flickering sensuously, a small table set for two placed invitingly before the roaring fireplace.

"It's amazing, Bastian." Harry murmured appreciatively, his eyes lighting up as he strode over to the older man. "_You're_ amazing." Wrapping his arms around broad shoulders, the seventeen year old leaned forward and captured Sebastian's lips in a searing kiss. Pulling away, breathless, the defense professor grinned down at his younger companion.

"I don't know about that." He murmured, a slight blush creeping up his face as he thought of the impromptu dinner he had thrown together.

"I do."

"You flatter me, Mr. Potter." Cupping Harry's chin in his hands, Bastian stole a series of light kisses, before leading the Gryffindor to the table and pulling out the chair for him. "But in all honesty, I royally screwed this evening up before you even arrived."

"Oh?" Harry grinned while taking his seat, amusement lacing his words as he quirked his eyebrows at Sebastian. "How so?"

"I forgot to order dinner, so I had to improvise." Came the sheepish reply as the older man removed the cover over Harry's plate, revealing a pile of chocolates, cookies, and candies. Harry chuckled softly, shaking his head slightly.

"It's perfect, love."

Breathing out an audible sigh of relief, Bastian pulled out his own chair and sat down. Offering a tentative smile across the table, the defense professor reached under the table and came back up holding a square, thin, badly wrapped package.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Harry." He whispered, sliding it across the table while biting his bottom lip in uncertainty.

Curious as to what Bastian could have gotten him that was this shape and size, Harry reached out and picked up the item, studying it silently for a moment.

"I had a hell of a time finding you the perfect gift. Do you know how extremely difficult it is to shop for a Valentine's Day gift for another man?"

"Yes, actually." Harry replied cheekily as he greedily tore at the wrappings. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, the young man turned the brown, leather journal in his hands. In the bottom, right hand corner of the front, his initials were engraved in gold.

"It's a communication journal." Bastian explained, reaching under the table once again to reveal an identical book with the initials S.O.S. in the corner. "Anything you write in yours will appear in mine, and vice versa. I thought that since we don't get to see each other as much as we would prefer, we could use these to talk without the restraints of owl post and the dangers of fire calls." He continued to explain how they worked, hands shaking slightly in the process.

"It really is the perfect gift, love." Harry said after, stroking the smooth surface with a dreamy smile on his face. The journals actually brought to mind the two-way mirror that Sirius had given to him for Christmas during his fifth year; the ones that could have saved his Godfather's life, if only he had remembered to open the gift. Harry wouldn't make the same mistake twice, that was for sure. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it."

"I love it." Taking a deep breath, the younger man met Sebastian's eyes, his own shining with a radiant fire. "I love _you_."

The older man's breath caught in his throat, eyes unblinking as he stared in awe at the amazing man before him.

"Harry… I," He paused, blinking at last and reaching across the table to grasp Harry's hand, "I love you too."

"Good, because I'd hate to think that my present wouldn't be accepted." Grinning cheekily, the emerald-eyed man stood and walked over to stand beside the chair Bastian was seated in. There was just enough room between the professor and the table for Harry to squeeze in, facing the older man as he straddled his lap. "I give myself to you as freely as I give you my heart." Bastian gaped, amazed at the gift he was being given.

"I find myself unable to think straight. Then again, how straight can gay guys think?"

"You don't have to think, Sebastian." Harry whispered in his ear, tongue darting out to lick the soft flesh of his ear. "Just feel."

_(To read this entire section, visit my livejournal archive.)_

* * *

"Dinner was amazing, Severus." Hermione smiled lovingly at the man across from her as she set her fork down on her plate.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Severus murmured, allowing a rare smile to grace his lips as he studied the young woman before him. She was dressed in a simple, form fitting black dress, her curls cascading sensuously over her shoulders. Her chocolate brown eyes were dancing merrily, her cheeks flushed with excitement, and he couldn't help but fall in love with her all over again. With that thought, he stood and crossed the room, extracting a large, elegantly wrapped gift from a hidden safe above his fireplace. "Happy Valentine's Day, Hermione." He said, offering her the package and reclaiming his seat.

Intrigued, Hermione ran her hands over the beautiful wrapping until she found a seam, carefully releasing the edges and removing the large item from within. It was quite obviously a book, but the fine leather was worn, and the gold lettering was barely visible. It was obviously a very old tome, so she took care as she opened it to the first page.

"Pride and Prejudice?" She gasped, eyes going round. It was her all time favorite fiction book; and she had mentioned it to Severus once last summer. At the time, she'd even likened herself and the potions master to Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, though she never told him that. She couldn't believe he remembered! "It's so old… Is it a first edition?"

"Even better." He murmured silkily, leaning forward slightly and catching her eyes with his own. The midnight orbs were shining with a singular intensity that bespoke of the older man's love of the written word, and his appreciation of her own adoration of classic novels. "It's the original manuscript."

"The original manuscript?" Shocked and awed that he would come across such a rare item and bestow it upon her sent Hermione's head and heart reeling. "It must have cost a fortune!"

"Not really, no." He replied matter-of-factly, picking up his wine glass and sipping languidly at the tart liquid. "It's been in my family for years. Mr. Darcy was actually inspired by one of my ancestors, so he was gifted with the manuscript shortly after the first edition was published."

"This is so amazing… I don't know if I can accept it." Hermione protested, though she gazed longingly at the book, her hands caressing each page as her eyes roved hungrily over the elegant writing.

"Of course you can. There is no one that I can think of who would appreciate this more than you, and I would love for you to have it."

"I don't know what to say…" She whispered, eyes filling with tears. She couldn't imagine a better gift than this. Severus knew her all too well. Any other girl may have been offended had she received a book for Valentine's Day, but not her. Her passion was the written word, and it warmed her soul that this man understood that. Looking up, she offered him her most radiant smile. "Thank you."

Severus inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't been entirely sure, when he'd retrieved the book from the family vault, that she would appreciate the gift. The look of pure joy on his face told him that he made the right decision.

"You are most welcome." He finally murmured, leaning across the table and pressing a soft kiss to her welcoming lips. "I have something else for you, too."

"But you've already given me so much!"

"I would give you the world, if I could." The whispered words were followed by a hesitant smile. "However, since I don't own the deeds to this magnificent planet, I suppose this will have to do." Standing once again, he moved beside her, falling gracefully to his knee as he presented her with a small, black velvet box.

"Oh my!" Hermione exclaimed softly, suddenly very anxious. It was too soon to be talking about marriage and proposals! She loved Severus with all her heart, but she was still in school!

"Hermione?" The potions master murmured nervously, waiting for her to take the box. Biting her bottom lip, she reached out a shaking hand and took the preferred item, opening it slowly. When she spied the contents, she let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

Inside, attached to a platinum necklace, sat a tiny, platinum key with an small emerald laid in the handle.

"You now own the only key to my heart." Severus whispered, taking the necklace out of the box and moving behind Hermione to place it around her neck. Letting the light chain fall against her neck, he leaned forward and placed a feather light kiss to her neck. "I love you."

"Sev…" A slow trail of tears trekked silently down her cheeks as she fingered the beautiful, symbolic item. "You are such a closet romantic!" She hiccupped, laughing lightly as she heard his appreciative chuckling from behind her. Twisting in her chair, she gazed up into his eyes. "I love you, too."

The unlikely couple shared a searing kiss before retiring to his bedroom. Though Hermione kept her promise to save herself until marriage, she couldn't help but revel in the feeling of sleeping in Severus' warm, loving embrace.

* * *

**AN**: Again, the characters may seem OOC, but I still do what the voices tell me to do. And I apologize for the fact that I'm crap at writing smut. :-/

**Next Chapter:** What surprises will NEWT exams and graduation bring? And just what does Albus think he is doing?


	14. In Which Albus Is A Meddling Old Coot

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** The rating has increased to M, for increased language and content. Note that the rating may change at any given time. A major slash warning is also implied for the rest of the story.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG, SS2/HP. Due to HP6, this story is now AU.

**Author's Note: TINY SPOILER WARNING! Do not read Author's Note if you haven't read HP6 yet! **

After reading HP6, I find myself not too fond of Snape anymore. Bastard. Anyway, that, combined with the fact that some really horrible things have been happening in my life lately, has brought me to the decision to end this story. That's right folks, you are looking at the last chapter.

I apologize profusely for delaying this chapter so long, but like I said, bad stuff has been happening.

Anyway, this story is nominated for Multifaceted awards! I would really appreciate it if everyone would vote for me! You can find the link to the website on my author profile!

Once again, I want to send out a huge thanks to all my loyal readers! I love you guys!

* * *

"Ten points from Gryffindor, and don't let me catch you breathing so loudly again, Mr. Potter!" Severus scowled as the young man smirked at him. Sparing a quick glare at his brother's lover, he swept around the dungeon classroom; surreptitiously sneaking glances at Hermione as he pretended to inspect the potions that his students were currently laboring over in preparation for the quickly approaching N.E.W.T's. It was clear that June had arrived, and with it a flurry of activity from the fifth and seventh years alike as they scrambled to study for their respective exams.

Severus hated to admit it, but he was quite jealous of the N.E.W.T's. Hermione was spending more time fawning over them than him, and he found that -- despite twenty years of solitude -- after a mere five months of courtship, he felt a certain dismay whenever they were apart. A sudden hissing drew Snape out of his reverie, and, spinning on his heels, he stalked over to the student at fault.

"Mr. Zabini, would you care to explain to me why your potion is spitting out violent red sparks, when it should be simmering gently?" Blaise's usual cool exterior melted briefly as he blushed a crimson red.

"I think my Murlap Root has expired, Sir." He replied with only a hint of a waver in his voice. Severus cocked an unamused eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, sir?" It was more of a question, causing the potions professor to tsk loudly.

"Can anyone tell me what the first rule was that I gave you when you first stepped into my classroom as first years?" Severus called out in a steely voice, his back turned to the students. He could almost swear that he heard the air whoosh as Hermione's hand shot into the air. Without turning around, he drawled lazily, "Miss Granger?"

"You told us to check the expiration dates on our ingredients at least twice a month, Sir." She answered mechanically, a small smile on her face. Until five months ago, the dour professor had never called on her to answer a question. _'I really must be softening him up!' _Hermione thought with a triumphant gleam in her sparkling eyes.

"Correct. Five points to Gryffindor." Eyebrows flew into the air as the startled students looked at one another. Snape had never awarded Gryffindor house points! They didn't dare say anything however, not wanting to test their luck.

Severus smirked to himself, before turning to face his students.

"When was the last time that you checked the expiration dates on your ingredients, Mr. Zabini?" His voice was silky, yet held a deadly quality that Gryffindors had always feared, yet never thought they would hear turned on the professor's own Slytherins.

"Um… Two months ago, I think?"

"Two months ago…" Severus trailed off, gearing up to rant at the cowering boy before him, when the door to his classroom suddenly banged open. Glaring up at the intruder, Snape was somewhat surprised to see Sebastian striding through the entrance. He stared at his brother indifferently as the other man came to a stop in front of him. "Can I help you?"

All of the students, including a partially relieved Zabini, stared at the twins with curiosity.

"Dumbledore wants to see us in his office immediately." The usually playful man was oddly somber, and Severus could detect a hint of fear in his brother's voice. Glancing quickly at Harry and Hermione's table in question, Severus stifled a groan at his twin's barely perceptible nod.

"Very well." He turned to his students. "Collect a vial of your potion, label it with your name, and place it on my desk." As they hurried to do so, Severus locked up the store cupboard. "After you clear up your work stations, you are dismissed. If I find one hint of a mess when I return, the entire class will have detention!"

Sweeping back down the aisle, both professors headed toward the door. There was an audible sigh of relief from the dark Slytherin, who felt quite lucky that he had escaped his punishment.

"Oh, and ten points from Slytherin, Mr. Zabini." Severus called over his shoulder, chuckling inwardly to himself as he heard the loud groan of frustration.

"Did I hear you correctly?" Bastian gaped playfully, hand grasping his heart in mock surprise. "Did you just take points from your own house?"

"Sod off."

Grinning at his brother, the defense professor shoved his hands in his pockets as they strode quickly toward the Headmaster's office. Severus attempted to scowl in return, but his lips betrayed him as they curled up at the ends.

As they approached the gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office, both men blanched, hearts sinking immediately.

"Whatchamacallit." Bastian muttered, rolling his eyes at the password of the week. Apparently, Dumbledore had a new affinity for muggle candy bars. Silent, both men ascended the spiral staircase; dread filling their bodies as they imagined the lecture to come. Severus raised his fist and rapped soundly on the oak door.

"Enter." Came the muffled reply from the other side. Taking a deep breath, the twins entered the large room and took a seat in the two chairs opposite Dumbledore's.

"You wished to see us, Albus?" They replied at the same time; something they hadn't done since they were teenagers. Albus quirked an amused eyebrow as he plucked a sherbert lemon from a tin on his desk, popping the sweet in to his mouth as he leaned back in his chair and gazed contemplatively at the two men before him.

"Yes, yes I did." He murmured at last, steepling his fingers on his chest as he stared unblinkingly over the rim of his half-moon glasses.

Severus shifted uneasily in his chair, shooting his twin a worried glance. He hadn't felt this remorseful since the evening he came to this very office to beg Dumbledore for his life. Bastian returned an equally uneasy look as he folded his arms over his chest.

"I would like to discuss the issue of your relationships with Mr. Potter and Miss Granger." Albus murmured calmly, belaying no hint of what was to come. Silence reigned once again as the twins gulped audibly. While student/teacher relationships where not entirely prohibited, they were highly frowned upon for the complications that they caused.

"Listen Albus." Bastian broke the silence at last, leaning forward slightly with a pleading look on his face. "I'm ready to face any punishment you throw my way, but I absolutely refuse to end my relationship with Harry… I love him."

"Nor will I leave Hermione." Severus threw in, a bit disconcerted by the sudden twinkling in the Headmaster's eyes.

"Is that so?" Leaning forward himself, Dumbledore's gaze penetrated the Snape twins, who, once again, shifted anxiously in their seats. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Albus fell back into his chair. "As Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, I have the authority to perform the Marriage and Bonding rituals, if you so choose. Also, Hogwarts is at your disposal, should you need a place to hold the ceremonies."

Blinking rapidly, Severus and Sebastian glanced back and forth between each other and the crazy old man across from them.

"Are- are you serious, Albus?" Bastian spoke at last, eyes wide.

"Quite serious, I assure you."

"But-"

"I will let you both in on a little secret." Dumbledore whispered conspiratorially, leaning forward once again. Curious, both Snapes did the same. "I have known about your relationships since their inception."

"WHAT!" Severus bellowed, surprised at this development. Here they had been tiptoeing around the Headmaster, afraid of the repercussions should he learn the truth, and the old coot had known all along!

"I had been hoping for them for quite a while, actually."

Neither man knew what to say, so they merely stared at Albus incredulously.

"Should you need any assistance planning the proposals, I am at your disposal." Eyes twinkling more than ever, Dumbledore waved his hand at the door, causing it to swing open silently. "You may go."

Numbly, both men stood and exited the office, deaf to the chuckles emanating from within.

"C-can you believe the nerve of that man?" Bastian muttered half-heartedly, looking at his brother to see what his reaction would be as the duo walked through the empty halls. Severus remained silent; seemingly lost in his own world.

"How did he know?" He spoke at last, still staring off into space. Bastian furrowed his eyebrows.

"Some of the portraits probably saw what happened on New Years and reported back to him."

"No… How did he know that I am going to propose to Hermione?"

"W-what!" Bastian sputtered, shocked at this discovery. He knew that his older twin was quite in love with the fiery young woman, but he had know idea that he was already entertaining thoughts of marriage. Bastian, himself, hadn't even gotten that far. Though, now that he thought about it…

"I bought the ring last weekend. I plan on proposing to her during the Graduation Feast." Stopping suddenly in a deserted corridor, Severus at last turned to face his brother. Bastian was surprised to see how young and healthy the usually sallow man looked. 'Hermione really must be doing wonders for him.' He thought to himself, an unexpected wave of relief flowing through him at this revelation. It was good to see his brother happy again.

"Sev, are you sure about this?" He asked, though he believed he already knew the answer.

"Absolutely." Came the firm reply; a fire lighting in Severus' eyes the likes of which Sebastian had never seen.

"I'm happy for you, Severus. I really am." Realizing that if his nasty, sardonic, evil git of a brother could fall in love and get married, than he could too. Bastian felt a surge of something warm and fuzzy shoot through his body at the thought of spending the rest of his life with Harry. Snapped out of his reverie by a warm, gentle hand on his shoulder, the younger twin looked up at his brother.

"Thank you, Bastian." Severus murmured earnestly, smiling awkwardly, before striding off toward the dungeons.

* * *

"Great Merlin, am I glad those are done!" Harry exclaimed in relief as he fell onto the bench between his two best friends at the Gryffindor table two weeks later. Having just completed his last exam, the young man finally allowed himself to breath. Hermione chuckled next to him.

"They really weren't all that bad, Harry." She admonished playfully, spooning a generous helping of stuffing onto his plate for him as he gorged himself on gravy drenched turkey.

"Oh, come off it Hermione!" Ron exclaimed, leaning forward to look past Harry and glare at his friend. "They were horrible, and you know it!"

"If you insist…" She smirked good-humoredly, daintily buttering a dinner roll. Both boys rolled their eyes at her before returning to their own dinners. An easy silence surrounded them as they reflected on the past week. There had barely been a moment when they weren't studying or testing, and Hermione and Harry had both found themselves becoming increasingly agitated as the days passed without seeing either Snape. Despite what she told the boys, the exams had been quite difficult for Hermione, if only because her mind kept drifting back to her favorite potions master.

"Can you believe we're graduating in two days?" Ron spoke, bringing Hermione back to reality. She smiled at her friend, though her heart secretly broke at the thought. She dreaded leaving Hogwarts; though she knew that she'd be able to spend the summer unencumbered with Severus, she wasn't looking forward to only weekend visits when the next school year began.

"Yeah. It seems sort of surreal, doesn't it?" Harry added, once again drawing Hermione into their conversation.

"Yeah…"

"Hey! What's that?" Ginny piped up from across the table, pointing toward the rafters, where a dozen owls soared through the open windows and flew over Harry; each dropping their load. Dozens of roses rained over the Gryffindor table, causing everyone in the hall to gasp in awe.

"What the?" Harry murmured as a last owl flew in and deposited a small package before him.

"Open it!" Ron elbowed his friend in the arm impatiently. Hermione leaned forward as Harry unwrapped the small box, curious as to what it could be. All of those who could see what was in the box as the Boy Wonder snapped it open, gasped in surprise.

Harry stared in disbelief at the intricately engraved platinum band within, not exactly sure what to do or say.

"Marry me?" A voice whispered sensuously behind him, causing him to jump in shock. Whirling around in their seats, the trio gazed in surprise at Sebastian, who was kneeling before Harry.

"Huh?" Blinking rapidly, Harry's mouth gaped open as what was happening finally dawned on him. Bastian chuckled softly as he took the band from the box and lifted the young man's left hand with his own.

"I love you Harry, more than I ever thought possible." He whispered, aware of the entire room's eyes on him. "But now I realize that I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without you. Will you marry me?"

"Is that possible?" Harry said, elated yet wary; afraid of too much of a good thing. "I mean, can two men even get married?" Bastian grinned, chuckling once again.

"I assure you, my love, that it is quite possible. Albus even offered to perform the ceremony." The hand holding the ring hovered expectantly over the ring finger on Harry's hand, shaking slightly as Bastian awaited his lover's answer.

"Then yes, I will marry you." The Great Hall erupted in cheers as Bastian slid the ring on Harry's finger, then swooped down and captured the young man's lips with his own. They held each other, happy tears trekking down flushed cheeks as the congratulations poured in.

Meanwhile, up at the staff table, Severus was livid.

"Bloody bastard stole my idea!" He muttered under his breath as he glared down at the celebrating couple and the crowd around them. Truth be told, he was more surprised at everyone's ready acceptance of the pair, than he was angry at his twin.

"Fear not, Severus. I do not think Hermione suspects." Albus murmured beside him, pointing out the young girl who was caught up in the turmoil; a large smile spread across her face as she hugged first her best friend, then her defense professor. "And believe me when I say that your proposal will cause much more of a shock than Sebastian's."

Snape only grunted in response as he slowly got out of his chair and made his way down to the dissipating crowd.

"Congratulations Sebastian, Harry." He muttered, looking for all the world that he was completely disinterested, when in fact he was putting up a front so that Hermione wouldn't catch on to his own plans. After shaking both man's hands, he strode swiftly out of the hall. "Now I have to cancel the bloody flowers and owls… Dammit Bastian!"

* * *

"Another fantastic year!" Dumbledore spread his arms out as if embracing the truth of the words. Gazing down on the students before him, the Headmaster smiled grandfatherly. "We've had highs, and we've had lows. We've had karaoke and masquerades… Rousing games of strip poker," he smirked when the students involved gasped audibly, "and exciting games of Quidditch. There has been love and hate, fights and proposals. And in the end, we all came out the better for it."

The room was full of agreeing murmurs and happy smiles. Everyone was just happy to be alive; and more than a few were relieved that the year had passed rather uneventfully. With no more Voldemort or Death Eaters to worry over, life had returned to normal. Blissfully normal. For the most part.

"And now I would like you all to sit back and enjoy the wonderful feast that the house-elves have prepared for us; for some of you, it is the last feast that you will ever enjoy at Hogwarts. Tuck in!" The hall filled with a burst of noise as the tables creaked under the weight of food and the students dove into the amazing food.

Severus sat stiffly, barely picking at his food as he watched Hermione laugh and converse with her friends. He could barely believe what he was about to do. Fingering the ring in his pocket, the nervous man glanced anxiously at Sebastian.

"Don't worry. She'll say yes."

Nodding mutely, Severus tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the feast to be done. When the last of the dessert dishes were cleared away, he looked to Albus for the go ahead. Usually the Headmaster gave his parting words after the feast, but he'd promised the potions master to wait until after he'd proposed to Hermione.

"You have the floor." Albus murmured with a soft smile on his face. Taking a deep breath, Severus stood and descended the dais, striding purposefully toward the Gryffindor table. Coming to a stop behind Hermione, he glared at the students who gave him a frightened look. Taking her hand, Severus pulled the young woman up until she was standing before him.

"Professor Snape?" She questioned, careful not to abandon pretenses. Severus fidgeted nervously. "Sir?"

"Listen, Hermione." He began uncertainly, his prepared speech completely vanishing from every corner of his mind. He was definitely drawing a blank. Panicking, he looked everywhere but at her as he spoke. "These last few months have been great, really. You've showed me more love and compassion than anyone has in my entire life."

_'Oh Merlin, he's breaking up with me.'_ Hermione suddenly thought to herself, tears stinging her eyes. '_And if front of the entire school!'_

"I'm not listening to another word you say!" She bit out, covering her ears with her hands and clenching her eyes shut.

_'That was certainly unexpected!'_ Severus thought, frowning in confusion. As he replayed his words in his head, it suddenly dawned on him why she was acting so peculiar.

"Hermione!" He called out harshly to get her attention. She opened her eyes, but refused to move her hands. Rolling his eyes and sighing in exasperation, he pulled out the ring and held it in front of her face. The square cut diamond, set upon a pristine white gold band, sparkled enticingly in the flickering light of the floating candles. Hermione blinked slowly, her heart skipping a beat.

"And just _what_, exactly, do you intend for me to do with that?" She dropped her hands to her hips and quirked a playful eyebrow.

"Wear it, you insufferable little know-it-all!" A few people dared to laugh softly at this. Hermione's grin only grew wider.

"And why would I want to do that?"

"Because you love me, and I love you, and I want to marry you, dammit!" Severus growled out, pouting at how difficult she was making this.

"Well, in that case." Hermione lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Severus and planting a steamy kiss on his lips. "I accept." She whispered softly in his ear.

"You do?" He pulled back, frustration sweeping out of him like a gust of wind clears fallen leaves. The young woman in his arms smiled lovingly up at him, tears in her eyes.

"I do."

* * *

**AN:** So that's it for the last chapter! I was considering making it longer, but it's pretty long already, and I didn't want to drag it out too far. I thought it was a fitting ending.

However, do not fear, there WILL be an epilogue. And in that epilogue, Snape will finally get some action! YAY! Plus we'll see where they all end up 10 years from now!

LEAVE ME SOME LOVE!


	15. In Which They Lived Happily Ever After

**The Matchmaker**

_Joy Cutting_

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!

**Rating:** Since M rated material is not posted on ff.n, the rating has been brought back down to T. Note that the rating may change at any given time. A major slash warning is also implied for the rest of the story.

**Summary:** You thought one Snape was bad? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up and starts plotting? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG, SS2/HP. Due to HP6, this story is now AU.

**Author's Note: **Sorry that this took a while to get out. Life has been happening again. Before we start the epilogue, I just want to say that there will be NO sequel. This is it, this is the end. Also, I want to point out that I don't really hate Snape now… I just dislike him a little bit for the moment. However, once things settle down a bit around here, I have every intention of starting another fic… My own version of HP7:-D

Anyhoo, thanks again to my wonderful reviewers. I love you guys! And I would love you guys even more if you went and voted for this story at the Multifaceted Awards; the link for which can be found on my profile page.

Also, there ARE visual aids for this chapter. The links to such can be found in my profile page.

There is M/NC-17 content for this chapter. To view it, you must go to my LiveJournal; the link to which, can once again, be found on my profile page.

And on with the show!

* * *

"I can't believe it's only been a month since I've graduated, and I'm already getting married." Hermione muttered as she smoothed down the silk brocade of her ivory wedding gown. "How I let Severus talk me into such a quick wedding is beyond me."

"At least you waited more than a week, which is more than Sebastian and Harry can say." Ginny, her Maid of Honor, smirked as she came up behind her best friend, smoothing down her own satin, hunter green dress and straightening the silver bow at her bodice.

"I can understand why Severus would want to marry you right away, Hermione. You're quite a catch, and he doesn't want you to get away." Minerva murmured, a frustrated expression on her face as she walked over to Ginny and Lavender, who were gathered around the bride. "But why, Merlin, why did you choose Slytherin colors!" She looked at her reflection in the mirror with slight distaste, smoothing down her own dress and shifting around the drooping bodice. "And why did you have to choose these dresses? Don't get me wrong – I'm flattered that you asked me to be a part of your wedding, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm quite a bit older than you girls. I don't exactly have the assets to keep this up anymore! Dear Merlin, I'm going to need a holding spell just to make it through the evening!"

The younger girls stared in shock at the Head of Gryffindor for a moment before bursting into gleeful laughter. Minerva scowled, but soon succumbed to the giggles herself. As the laughter abated, the women set themselves to finishing preparations for the ceremony.

"We made a compromise." Hermione explained after a while, in reference to the bridesmaid's dresses. "I wanted muggle attire and Gryffindor colors, and Severus wanted wizarding attire and Slytherin colors. So we chose muggle attire and Slytherin colors." She shrugged, not at all disappointed with the choice. Truth be told, green had always been one of her favorite colors. Spinning in front of the mirror, the young bride admired her reflection.

"What I don't understand is how you two managed to pull together such an elaborate wedding in only a month." Lavender spoke up as she delicately arranged her long, blonde ringlets to fall gracefully over her left shoulder.

"Well, once my mother resigned herself to the fact that her teenage daughter is marrying a man 20 years her senior, she took it upon herself to plan every little detail. If my father hadn't intervened in time, I wouldn't have been able choose my own gown, let alone the other dresses and colors!" Hermione smiled as she attached her waist length veil. Her stomach was in knots as she thought about the life she was about to embark upon. Out of all the things she pictured for her future after school, it certainly hadn't been marriage to one of the most hated professors in Hogwarts history. But here she was, dressed in the most beautiful wedding gown she had ever seen, surrounded by her closest friends and family, and Hermione found that she couldn't be happier.

Out of nowhere, loud voices erupted outside the Gryffindor common room, where the girls were preparing. Raising a curious eyebrow, Hermione turned to face the portrait hole just as her mother burst threw.

"For the last time, you impossible git, you can not see Hermione until the ceremony!" And with a huff of frustrated breath, the petite woman slammed the door in the stranger's face.

"Mum?" Hermione questioned, walking across the room to where Anne Granger stood, shoulders heaving as she seethed at the unknown entity. Slowly, the older woman turned to face her daughter.

"Why, out of all the men on this earth, did you have to choose the most insufferable of the lot? Why?" Hermione could only grin at this, taking the proffered bouquet of flowers from her mother.

"Because I love him."

"Oh, all right!" Anne grumbled good-naturedly, a soft smile spreading across her face as she finally took in the beautiful vision that was her daughter. Simple elegance was what popped into her mind as she looked at the delicately embroidered bodice atop the silk skirt of her gown, and the intricately arranged coiffure of chocolate brown hair gently covered by the sheer, ivory veil. She didn't even realize she had started to cry until the salty droplets kissed her pink lips. "My darling daughter… You are so beautiful."

"Muuuum!" Hermione blushed, fanning her hands in a desperate attempt to stave off the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes. The two women hugged to a chorus of 'awes' from the other occupants of the room, laughing softly as they pulled apart.

"Here. That fiancé of yours wanted to give you this; but as you heard, I wouldn't allow him in!" She handed Hermione a flat, square box wrapped in embossed ivory paper. "Bad luck, you know, for a groom to see his bride in her gown before the ceremony!"

The young bride rolled her eyes at her mother as she gently removed the paper and opened the box; gasping at the contents inside. Laid in thick, black velvet, sat silver and pearl earrings, and a matching necklace.

"He has good taste, I'll give him that much." Anne muttered as she peeked over Hermione's shoulder to get a look at the gift that had her daughter's eyes welling up with tears once again. "Here, let me."

"No, let me." A new voice sounded from by the doorway.

"Dad!" Hermione turned and grinned at her father, looking absolutely dashing in his black tux and silver vest.

"Sweetheart… You look amazing." Charles Granger murmured lovingly, taking his daughter into his arms and holding her for as long as he could. It was obvious to the other women that he didn't want to let his little girl go, literally and figuratively; but with a soft sigh, he released her and stepped back. "I am very proud of you, Hermione. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Daddy." Hermione smiled softly at her father as she handed over the necklace for her father to clasp around her neck. After putting in the earrings, she walked once more over to the mirror and silently appraised her reflection. After a few, tense moments, she turned to her parents and bridal party, and let out a deep breath. "I'm ready."

* * *

"How Hermione let me talk her into such a quick wedding is beyond me." Severus muttered as he fought with the muggle contraption that Charles Granger had called a 'tie'. Finally giving up, he stormed over to the coffee table in his personal quarters and snatched up his wand, flicking it once at his neck and watching as the infernal contraption righted itself. "Why I even suggested it is even more of a mystery! Must have been the shock of her actually saying yes." He muttered the last part to himself, shaking his head ruefully as he shrugged into the long, black jacket of his tuxedo.

"Well, at least you had the sense to wait longer than these two." Draco muttered as he came to stand beside his former head of house, jabbing his finger behind him at the couple necking in the corner. Severus rolled his eyes.

"You know, if I were you – and don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm not! – I would save that for after the ceremony. Hermione's mother will pitch a fit if you show up at her daughter's wedding looking like you just got thoroughly shagged." Sebastian and Harry sprung apart, looking slightly abashed and grinning sheepishly at the groom.

"Sorry Sev. Newly weds and all that. You'll know the feeling in a few hours." Bastian joked, picking up his own wand and waving it at himself and his husband to clear the wrinkles from their matching tuxes.

"Well, at least Hermione and I will have a modicum of restraint if such a case arises, so as to not make others uncomfortable in our presence." Severus sniffed, stalking away to his bedroom.

Draco, Ron, Harry and Sebastian looked at each other for a silent moment, before bursting into uncontained laughter.

"Somehow, I highly doubt that!" Ron guffawed, throwing his head back as he pictured the other couple anxiously fidgeting while trying not to jump each other in front of entire school.

"Sod off, Weasley." The nervous groom bit out as he returned, his silky, black hair held back at the nape of his neck by the silver and emerald snake clasp that Hermione had give him for Valentine's Day.

"Wow, Sev. You look almost as good as me!" Bastian said playfully, stepping back as his twin reached out to hit him. The other boys laughed at the brothers, glad to see how far their relationship had come since they'd reconciled seven months ago.

"Well, it's almost time. Are you ready?" Harry said at last, interrupting the sarcastic banter that had broken out between the twins. Severus blinked rapidly, looking up at the clock over his mantelpiece. He gulped visibly and mutely nodded his head. "Let's go get you married, then!"

* * *

"Merlin… She's an angel!" Bastian leaned sideways and murmured to the shell-shocked groom as Hermione slowly walked down the petal-strewn aisle in the middle of the Hogwart's courtyard. She was positively radiant as she beamed at the guests and her soon-to-be husband, her father walking proudly at her side.

"She's a goddess." Severus finally whispered back, awe apparent in his voice and his expression. When the young woman reached the altar, she turned to her father, who flipped the veil over her head, revealing her beautiful face, and then placed a soft kiss on her cheek, before taking her hand and joining it with Severus' outstretched one.

Albus, garbed in blindingly white robes, smiled dazzlingly at the couple before him, before raising his arms to command the attention of the guests. When all eyes were on him, he spoke.

"We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of Hermione Granger and Severus Snape." Albus' eyes twinkled merrily as he nodded at the bride and groom, who were drowning in each other's eyes and didn't appear to be listening to a word he said. He continued anyway. "There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls has come our way through all paths of belief, and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths, and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. The law of life is love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing; without love, death has no redemption. If we learn no more in life, let it be this."

There were murmurs of approval from the gathered crowd, some nodding at the powerful truths the old wizard was speaking. This seemed to snap Hermione and Severus back into reality, and smiling sheepishly at Albus, nodded for him to continue.

"Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Severus and Hermione have come here today to be joined as one in marriage." Pausing to let the words sink in, Albus looked out at the gathering. Already, most of the women in attendance were dabbing at their eyes with handkerchiefs, and some of the men too. Even Peeves, who usually found any opportunity to crash a party, was dressed in his polka-dotted best, and floating quietly near the back of the group; a soggy, brown rag crumpled up in his transparent hands.

"I love you." Hermione whispered in the brief silence, earning a smile from Severus, and a small chorus of 'awes' from the guests. The Headmaster smiled obligingly, and then continued.

"Others would ask, at this time, who gives this bride in marriage; but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing." Albus turned to Hermione, who was looking at him expectantly. "Bride, is it true that you come of your own free will and accord?"

"Yes, it is true." Hermione murmured, and, if not for the Sonorus charm, wouldn't have been heard by anyone but Albus and Severus.

"With whom do you come and whose blessings accompany you?"

"She comes with me, her father, and is accompanied by all of her family's blessings." Charles stepped back after this and silently took the seat next to his tearful wife.

"Please join hands with your betrothed and listen to that which I am about to say." Albus once again lifted his hands into the air, channeling the support of the spirits into the couple before him as he spoke the ancient bonding ritual. "Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth pass, remember: Like a stone should your love be firm, like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close, but not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease, for the Gods are with you always."

Hermione and Severus both gasped as the rush of power surged through their bodies, and they could feel the web that would unite their souls begin to weave it's unbreakable strands. Albus dropped his arms and took the rings from Ginny and Sebastian, holding his hands out toward the bride and groom.

"Severus, I have not the right to bind thee to Hermione, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place your ring in her hand." Severus took the larger of the platinum bands and placed it in the palm of Hermione's outstretched hand.

"It is my wish." He murmured with a reassuring nod.

"Hermione, if it be your wish for Severus to be bound to you, place the ring on his finger." With trembling hands, she did so, offering up a shy smile to her soon-to-be husband. "Hermione, I have not the right to bind thee to Severus, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place your ring in his hand."

Taking a deep breath, Hermione took the smaller ring and placed it in Severus' palm.

"It is my wish." She whispered.

"Severus, if it be your wish for Hermione to be bound to you, place the ring on her finger." His own hand shaking, the older man placed the band on the glove-clad finger of his young bride. Smiling in anticipation, Hermione and Severus looked up at Albus, who was beaming proudly at the pair.

"Severus, repeat after me: I, Severus Snape, in the name of the spirit of the Gods that reside within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee Hermione Granger to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself." Taking a deep breath, Severus repeated the ancient words, heart hammering as he felt the web weave their souls tighter. Albus turned to Hermione and repeated the same thing. Her voice shaking slightly, she gazed lovingly into Severus' eyes and spoke the binding vows.

Albus withdrew his binding wand and slowly drew out glistening, pink threads from Hermione and Severus, guiding the strands into a silver chalice on the table before him. Picking up the cup, he handed it to the groom.

"May you drink your fill from the cup of love." Severus took the chalice and held the rim up to Hermione's mouth so that she could sip the essence of their combined love. Taking the cup from him, she repeated the actions on her groom, and then handed it back to Albus, who set it on the table. "By the power vested in me by Gods, I now pronounce you husband and wife. As your souls intertwine, may your love so endure that its flame remains a guiding light unto you." With a wink at Severus, he spoke the customary muggle ceremony closer. "You may now kiss your bride."

Cheers and wolf-whistles sounded throughout the courtyard as the newly weds joined together for their first kiss as husband and wife.

* * *

"Why Minerva... Decided to come over to the dark side, have we?" Severus smirked at the Head of Gryffindor, nodding at her green and silver dress as she approached the couple. Hermione rolled her eyes and playfully batted at his shoulder.

"I swear, ever since I forced him to watch Star Wars with me, it's been nothing but 'Come over to the dark side' this, and 'Luke, I am your father' that!" She shook her head, laughing softly at the confused expression on the transfiguration professor's face. Severus' smirk only grew wider.

"I've always wondered how long your hair really was." Sebastian eyed the waist-length black and silver curls, his arm around Harry's waist as they, along with Albus, joined the small group.

"Merlin's balls, it's almost as long as my beard!" The crazy, old wizard exclaimed, fingering the white strands and furrowing his eyebrows as he pulled out a tin of lemon drops. "I'd wondered where those went!"

"Yes... Well... " Minerva stammered, clearly flustered at all the attention she was getting. There was a reason she wore her hair in a bun, after all. "At least it isn't white… yet!" She huffed, stalking off as the group laughed softly.

"Hmm. I should go after her." Albus murmured thoughtfully as he popped one of the yellow sweets into his mouth. "Perhaps she will consent to a dance with me. I've always wanted to run my hands through that hair of hers…"

"**That** was a mental image I didn't need!" Harry exclaimed, shutting his eyes and shaking his head as if to rid himself of the picture. Severus rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around his wife's waist.

"Well, I'd _love_ to stay and chat, but… Wait. No I wouldn't. Good night." Severus grinned cheekily at the group before dragging Hermione toward the exit.

"Severus! Why did you do that?" The young woman chastised, looking over her shoulder at the packed Great Hall.

"Because, my darling wife, I wanted to get a jump start on our honeymoon." Before she could even say a word in reply, she was swept off her feet, cradled in two strong, warm arms as they descended into the dark dungeons.

"So that's why you wanted to get married so fast!" Hermione grinned at her husband as they crossed into their private quarters, bypassing the living room and heading straight for the bedroom. "You just couldn't wait to get your randy little hands on me!"

"That, and I love you so damn much." Severus replied cheekily, depositing her gently in the middle of the bed.

"Well in that case…" Smiling seductively, the young bride reached out and pulled her groom onto the bed beside her, lips crushing against his in a bruising kiss that had all the heat in their bodies rushing downward. Pulling away, Hermione whispered breathlessly into his ear, "Make love to me, Severus."

_(To view M rated content, go to my LJ page)_

* * *

_9 Months Later…_

"Get this damn thing out of me!" Hermione screamed as she bent forward, red faced while she pushed with all of her might. Severus, whose hand was turning blue from lack of circulation, looked at Poppy with fright.

"Get it out of her, get it out!"

"Just a few more pushes, Hermione, and the head will be out." Poppy encouraged after shooting the potions master a reproving glare. The young witch took another deep breath and bared down, clutching her husband's hand in a grip that he swore broke a few bones. "And there's the head! It won't be long now, dear."

Severus leaned forward and looked between his wife's legs, to the bloody mass of curly, dark hair atop a tiny head.

"Is it supposed to look like that?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Sev! Is it a boy or girl?" Hermione asked, moaning as another contraction had her leaning forward and bearing down.

"I don't know, love. Right now, it's just a head!"

Wailing filled the room after that, and with a triumphant gleam in her eye, Madam Pomphrey lifted a bloody newborn into the air and beamed at the parents.

"It's a girl!" Depositing the squirming infant on her mother's stomach, she tied off the umbilical chord and then handed Severus' the scissors. While it could be done magically, most men opted to do it manually, as they felt it increased the bond with their child.

Hand shaking, the usually stoic professor leaned forward and carefully cut the bloody chord, separating daughter from mother. Returning to the bedside, he smiled down as his wife tiredly ran her hand over her daughter's small body.

"She's beautiful." She whispered, looking up at Severus with tears in her eyes.

"She's perfect." He agreed, reaching forward and gasping in surprise as his daughter grasped one of his long fingers in her tiny fist and held on for dear life.

"Ok, Hermione, we need to clean her up while you deliver the afterbirth." Poppy said, taking the baby and handing her over to one of the nurses. While they had agreed to deliver at St. Mungo's, for added precaution, they had insisted on bringing the Hogwarts mediwitch with them.

Severus bent forward and kissed his wife before walking over to watch his daughter get cleaned up. As the nurses worked silently, he quietly inspected her tiny body. As he had noticed before, she had dark, curly hair, which he doubted would ever change. Her eyes a deep blue, but he knew that most newborns eyes were that color, and he somehow knew that they would later change to a chocolate brown to match her mother's.

"Wait a second…" Madam Pomphrey's voice broke him out of his stupor. Worried at the tone in her voice, he returned to his wife's side. "How did I miss this?"

"What is it, Poppy?" Both he and Hermione asked in fright.

"Just give me one more push." Poppy murmured, and a second later, she held up another squalling infant. "It's a boy!"

"Twins…" Hermione, shocked, stared at her son in amazement as he was placed atop her stomach for her inspection. Severus leaned forward, equally shocked, and looked at their dark haired son. "Merlin, Sev… We have twins."

"So I noticed, darling." He replied wryly, reaching out to stroke the infant's smooth face. Before they knew it, Hermione had been cleaned up and transferred to a private room, the twins safely ensconced in her arms.

"For the last time, Severus, we are **NOT** naming our children Luke and Leia!"

"But-"

"No! We are going to stick with our original choices." Hermione admonished as she handed her son over to his father and positioned her daughter to feed. She winced as the tiny mouth latched on. Despite what people had told her, breastfeeding was turning out t be quite painful. She knew, however, that it not only strengthened the bond between mother and child, but it also strengthened the child's magical resources.

A knock on the door interrupted their light-hearted argument, causing them both to look up.

"May we come in?" Sebastian asked, Harry standing quietly behind him.

"Of course!" Hermione smiled at the two men that would be her children's Uncles. Both men stepped forward, crossing to the room and inspecting the child in her arms.

"What is it?" Harry asked, reaching forward to brush a dark curl off the child's forehead.

"She's a girl." Came the proud reply. A shuffling behind them drew their attention to Severus.

"What the… Did St. Mungo's have a two for one sale or something?" Sebastian exclaimed as he took in the sight of his twin brother holding another tiny baby.

"Har har." Severus drawled, drawing back the blanket to reveal his son's face. "Meet our son."

"Geez, Hermione." Harry muttered, grinning slightly. "When you do something, you do it right!" Everyone laughed at that, gazing at the children.

"Well, twins do run in the family, after all." Sebastian pointed out, smiling at his brother. Severus smiled back.

"Too true, my dear brother. Too true."

* * *

_11 Years Later…_

"When I call your name, you will step forward, put the Sorting Hat on your head, and be sorted into one of the four houses; Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff." Sebastian called out to the frightened looking first years gathered before him. It was his first year as Deputy Headmaster, and he was nervous himself.

Only months before, Albus Dumbledore had passed away in his sleep. Now, Minerva McGonagall, white hair and all, was the Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hermione, who had joined the staff three years prior as the new Charms professor, sat beside her husband, who was still the Potions professor; but was no longer dreaded or feared. After all, how can you fear someone walking around with baby puke on their robes 24/7?

Looking behind him at his own husband, who was now the Flying coach and Quidditch Referee, Bastian smiled, and then returned his attention to the children.

After what seemed like an eternity, he looked down at the few remaining students.

"Ashley Potter-Snape." He called, beaming at his and Harry's eldest child; whom they'd adopted nearly nine years ago, when she was just two years old.

The short, slim, blonde girl stepped forward and placed the hat upon her head. Mere seconds passed before the rip in the brim tore open and shouted out, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry clapped enthusiastically, smiling in triumph at Hermione, who was also clapping gaily and beaming at her niece. Severus rolled his eyes, but clapped. It had been blatantly obvious, really, since Ashley was six, that she would be a Gryffindor. His head snapped back to the sorting when the next name was called.

"Brian Snape." A tall, gangly boy with a head full of shoulder length, fine brown hair, stepped up to the dais and donned the hat. It was a few moments before the hat spoke; during which time Hermione and Severus sat, watching anxiously. They'd argued constantly over what houses their children would be sorted in; and while it was obvious that their younger twins, Sabrina and Samuel, would be in Slytherin and Gryffindor, respectively; the fate of their oldest twins had them undecided.

"RAVENCLAW!" The hat finally bellowed, shocking the boy's parents. They'd assumed it would be one of their houses, but they hadn't been sure which one. The boy was turning out to be more and more like his late Godfather, whom he was named of. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore had always been one to surprise those who thought they knew him best. Laughing at this twist of fate, mother and father clapped and smiled down at their son as he took a seat at his new house table.

"Annie Snape." Bastian called out, causing a tall, willowy girl with unruly, curly, black hair step forward and place the hat on her head. After what happened with their son, Hermione and Severus didn't know what to expect.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" With a wink at her parents, Annie skipped off to her house table. Hermione turned to her husband in awe.

"Well, what do you know… We're going to have a kid in each house. House rivalry on top of sibling rivalry!" She laughed softly, causing her husband to smirk.

"You know our family." He said, raising his goblet to salute his children. "We never do anything the easy way."

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_THE END!_

**AN**: I really hope you all liked this story. I worked long and hard on it, and I think it's really paid off. Anyway, leave me some love, and let me know what you thought of the series!

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!_  
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